The Dare
Werewolf story19 total reviews
Comment from Drew Delaney
A wonderful story. Well written and it certainly keeps the reader engaged. I wish you the best for the contest. I never read this genre, but I think I could like it if I dared.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2014
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A wonderful story. Well written and it certainly keeps the reader engaged. I wish you the best for the contest. I never read this genre, but I think I could like it if I dared.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2014
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Thank you for the kind review, Drew Delaney. I don't normally read werewolf stories either, but sometimes I try something different. The contest is over, but I appreciate the good wishes just the same. I appreciate the encouragement, too. Debi
Comment from djsaxon
A strong and scary write. I was a little confused initially as to why the girl was even in the castle but this is quickly resolved in conversation with the werewolf. The closer is effective and quite disturbing. The dialogue is well handled and has a dark, sub textural feel.
"You invade my territory and you wonder who I am?" - maybe italicize the "I"
"Why did this have to happen to me? I was a nice girl. I tried to live a good life." I believe this is redundant and should go. It adds nothing to the story. Almost trite.
All the best in the prompt - DJ
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
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A strong and scary write. I was a little confused initially as to why the girl was even in the castle but this is quickly resolved in conversation with the werewolf. The closer is effective and quite disturbing. The dialogue is well handled and has a dark, sub textural feel.
"You invade my territory and you wonder who I am?" - maybe italicize the "I"
"Why did this have to happen to me? I was a nice girl. I tried to live a good life." I believe this is redundant and should go. It adds nothing to the story. Almost trite.
All the best in the prompt - DJ
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the kind comments about the writing and the suggestions for improvement. I appreciate the good luck wishes too.
Comment from innerworlds
If the castle and the dark passageways weren't scary enough, being alone with your friends missing (why is the question!) in an isolated area at night after having just met a creature fresh from a scary movie...well, those are certainly ingredients for a thriller. I kept reading faster and faster as the intensity of the action increased. But then, the breathing slowed as the girl escaped, a brief respite, only to realize at the end that the werewolf's comment about finding a companion were coming true in an unexpected way. Very well written. The imagery was like watching a movie!
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
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If the castle and the dark passageways weren't scary enough, being alone with your friends missing (why is the question!) in an isolated area at night after having just met a creature fresh from a scary movie...well, those are certainly ingredients for a thriller. I kept reading faster and faster as the intensity of the action increased. But then, the breathing slowed as the girl escaped, a brief respite, only to realize at the end that the werewolf's comment about finding a companion were coming true in an unexpected way. Very well written. The imagery was like watching a movie!
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
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Wow. This is such a nice review. Thank you for the encouraging comments about the writing. I am so pleased that you enjoyed reading this story.
Comment from Erik McGinley
I liked this. Quite a lot actually :D
It's sort of horror but I read it as a sort of beauty and the beast love story.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
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I liked this. Quite a lot actually :D
It's sort of horror but I read it as a sort of beauty and the beast love story.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the generous six stars and the encouraging comments! I am so pleased you liked it.
Beauty and the Beast? Well, I might have to mull that over for a while. It wasn't in my mind as I was writing the story, but you name one of my favorite fairy tales--the original version that is, which is so much creepier than the Disney version. Beauty didn't exactly like the Beast at first, but as time went on?Oh, such possibilities.
Thank you! Debi
Comment from DanielEkine
Such putrid smell. Very descriptive introduction.
I always say these words, "Why do bad things happen to good people. Staying in an uncomfortable place even for a minute should feel like hours. The author carries the reader's attention in this work. The fear and panting narrative is tantalizing. So exceptional. A branded piece of work. The artwork puts more light in this work. Great job.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
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Such putrid smell. Very descriptive introduction.
I always say these words, "Why do bad things happen to good people. Staying in an uncomfortable place even for a minute should feel like hours. The author carries the reader's attention in this work. The fear and panting narrative is tantalizing. So exceptional. A branded piece of work. The artwork puts more light in this work. Great job.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the insightful review and the kind words about the writing. I appreciate the encouragement!
Comment from Max Edon
I am getting a little tired of the 'werewolf' genre, but this story was top notch. It had a lot of tension and was very scary.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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I am getting a little tired of the 'werewolf' genre, but this story was top notch. It had a lot of tension and was very scary.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful six stars., Max Edon. I understand about getting tired of werewolf stories. I rarely read them myself and I'm not even sure where this one came from. I just saw the prompt and decided to join.
I really appreciate the kind comments about the writing. I usually post poetry so this is a departure for me on several levels.
I appreciate the encouragement! Debi
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You are welcome
Comment from Cindy Warren
I guess he won't be living there all alone any longer. He must have turned the key with the intention of biting her. Wonder if her friends are dead or just scared off. What happens if they come looking for her in the daylight?
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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I guess he won't be living there all alone any longer. He must have turned the key with the intention of biting her. Wonder if her friends are dead or just scared off. What happens if they come looking for her in the daylight?
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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You propose some interesting possibilities. Who knows? What is his purpose and where is everyone else? Hmmm.
Thank you for the encouraging review, Cindy.
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
your well chosen words allow the reader to see and feel the drama unfolding in the castle of the encounter with the werewolf and the young lady
good visuals all the way through
you keep the reader engaged till the end
could not pick any SPAGS
well written
cheers ..Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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good luck in the contest
your well chosen words allow the reader to see and feel the drama unfolding in the castle of the encounter with the werewolf and the young lady
good visuals all the way through
you keep the reader engaged till the end
could not pick any SPAGS
well written
cheers ..Smoothiecool
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the kind comments about the writing and the good luck wishes, Smoothiecool. The contest is over and Dean won--it is his genre after all. I was happy to get a few votes.
I appreciate the generous stars and encouragement. Debi
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welcome...SC
Comment from rod007
This was a superb contest entry and I was surprised it did not get more votes. Well done for an excellent story and keep it up.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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This was a superb contest entry and I was surprised it did not get more votes. Well done for an excellent story and keep it up.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the encouraging review and very kind comments. I usually stick with poetry, but this contest intrigued me so I had to give it a try. All the entries were very good and I had a hard time deciding which one was best because they were all so different.
Comment from royowen
I enjoyed from the beginning, this tale was excellent from the time the characters were set, then tension was established and maintained in the narrative to the end! It was well written, there weren't any " slow bits"! It was articulate and captured my attention from the outset! A very good work, open ended, could make a series! Good luck, Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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I enjoyed from the beginning, this tale was excellent from the time the characters were set, then tension was established and maintained in the narrative to the end! It was well written, there weren't any " slow bits"! It was articulate and captured my attention from the outset! A very good work, open ended, could make a series! Good luck, Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review, Roy. You say such encouraging things. I am so happy that you liked it and think it could be a series...hmmm...I had not considered that. I also appreciate the good luck wishes.