Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

I so enjoy the way you write - believe this is an excellent chapter. I particularly liked the items in his sack he was able to take with him - seem to tie up any hesitations about connecting his present with his new past.

Great ending. AT=/

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, AT :-). I originally wrote this last year so it felt good to finally post it here on FS and fix up the ending just the way I wanted it.

Mike

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Exceptional

I loved the ending. As far as I am concerned they lived happily every after, FOREVER!!!! you did a very good job writing this. PERFECT!!!!

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, Barbara :-). Yes, it felt good to write a happy ending since so many of my stories seem to end up the other way, lol. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it.

Mike

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

Again, a great write but I am a bit confused. Why did Sandra call the police? I zipped back to the last chapter. Is it because he just showed up w/out her expecting him and thought him an intruder?

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thanks Raven. In my head, it was because her new beau (Marcus) disappeared and Darren appeared in his place - she suspected her ex husband of foul play. In reality, if he was rational, Darren could have talked himself out of it easily, but they arrest him because he runs through the back of the cafe - trespass.

Mike

Comment from Kenneth Schaal

Excellent

Darren, I discover is riddled with insecurities. Not your usual hero, but an interesting one. We'll hope Lizzy and him make the grade; they're both deserving of some success, some happiness. I thought the ending was great, and grounded in reality contrasted the super time travel. I see how you worked the travel too, changing places with Marcus--what a swap, hopefully the pairings are in order now. I missed three chapters, but I believe this ending covered the bases. Kenny

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, Kenny. In my mind, I have a scene where they win over the sour old lord with amazing cooking, but it didn't fit in with the timeline so I had to drop it in the end. I'm so glad you enjoyed the tale :-).

Mike

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

I do believe I missed a chapter. It took me several paragraphs to remember where you left off last time (the last time I read it). I'll have to check it out.

There's nothing not to like. Your writing voice assures that. I wish I could say I fully understand the last scene. I don't, but I will be here for the next chapter, which, I hope will clear up the present enigma.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, Jay. It's my fault for leaving such a long gap between this and the previous chapter. I also jump around a bit - the two conversations in italics hark back to his visit with the Chinese DVD seller. That makes good sense when it's read in one sitting but loses meaning when there's a gap like that.

Mike

reply by Jay Squires on 21-Jul-2014

Well, I fanned you, Mike (and how does that feel?) so I should get first dibs at your new chapters. So, keep 'em coming!

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

Excellent last chapter...sort of a modern take on "The Time Machine". I enjoyed this very much. I especially liked the dialogue between Darren and his wife, Lizzy. Very believable too. Great work with this. I enjoyed it immensely.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, my friend :-). The Time Machine was one of the stories I had in mind while I was writing (along with Back to the Future!). I'm thrilled you enjoyed it - it felt good to write a happy ending for a change, lol.

Mike

Comment from mumsyone

Excellent

I got lost somewhere along the line; had no idea who Sandra was until the middle of this chapter. I felt like there was a missing chapter, where Darren must have told her about everything. I realize, from this chapter, that he did tell her, but it just seemed like quite a jump. Probably just me. Good chapter, anyway, and a good ending.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thank you :-). Sandra doesn't know what's been happening at the start - she just knows her new boyfriend - Marcus from the past - disappeared and her husband - Darren - appeared. The idea is that his mate Jim - in whom he confided earlier - fills her in while he's under arrest. It's unusual to introduce a character in the last section, admittedly, but I needed her to round out the endings. So glad you liked it.

Mike

Comment from jadapenn

Exceptional

Hi Mike, I loved the story and everything came together in the end. A bit of tension there with Sandra and the police she called. She could have told them it was in error. I was scared Darren would miss his time gap and then be in a real mess. Well penned. I enjoyed. luv jada

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, Jada :-). In my mind, the police only arrested him in the end because he ran through the cafe and got done for trespass. Guess he shouldn't have panicked! In the original version, there were no police and the last bit was just him running about buying stuff for his trip. I thought this worked better though, giving Sandra and Jim a role to play and introducing a little tension. I'm so glad you liked it.

Mike

Comment from lindalcreel

Excellent

It seems like they will all be happier with this new arrangement. He will still have to explain his presence in the castle, unless she plans to keep him hidden for all eternity. LOL Just the same, at least the pressure will be off of Lizzie because he will be there with her.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thank you, Linda :-). I bet there's a whole novel's worth of material in Darren's new life. Who knows, maybe that'll happen if I ever catch up with all the stories I want to tell!

Mike

reply by lindalcreel on 21-Jul-2014

When I get a new idea, I write it down in a notebook. So far, I have about ten notebooks which are full of stories. Like you, I hope I can get them all finished some day.

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

This is a really good chapter - excellent dialogue with his estranged wife as he says farewell forever - I like her skeptical reaction to him and his sincerity.
I love the playful discussion with Lizzy about his not being able to return to his present/her future to bring back new ingredients and his foresight in bringing plants and tinned foods
You do a great job of making this all sound credible :-) I like the combination of romance and science fiction Brooke

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, Brooke :-). I had a lot of fun with this and it felt good to give it the ending it deserved. Now, what to write next???

Mike