Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 69 "Wotawe Moon, Part Two"Murder Mystery
39 total reviews
Comment from Connie C
You do so well, Bev, in portraying Jana as a woman of determination. I just returned from vacation and was so eager to read what appears to be the last chapter. I'm wondering, now, what you will do with all these characters--will they stay with you for a long time to come? I have truly enjoyed reading this, and I look forward to the day it becomes published, or how about a tv mini series?
My best to you, Bev.
Connie xx
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2014
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You do so well, Bev, in portraying Jana as a woman of determination. I just returned from vacation and was so eager to read what appears to be the last chapter. I'm wondering, now, what you will do with all these characters--will they stay with you for a long time to come? I have truly enjoyed reading this, and I look forward to the day it becomes published, or how about a tv mini series?
My best to you, Bev.
Connie xx
Comment Written 28-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2014
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Connie, thank you so very much, my friend, for all the truly wonderful support you've offered me over this past two years. I am grateful in ways I cannot adequately express for your enthusiasm, words of encouragement and extreme generosity in sticking with me through this.
I'm working with Rama Devi to edit the heck out of my novel LoL. Once I feel it's worthy, I plan on pitching it for publication. Believe me, I would not be doing any of this were it not for loyal fans like you, Connie.
I'll keep you posted should the story be accepted.
Blessings,
Bev
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Yes, by all means, I want to know if it gets published. You are truly a talented writer, Bev, and Rama Devi should prove quite helpful in doing in editing.
I look forward to reading your next novel.
Hugs,
Connie
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It's one I did a few years back. I can't seem to get away from the supernatural, but that's because for most of my life I've been dealing with ghosts in one form or another. But that's a story for another time. Hope Jack is doing well. I plan to post my review of your latest when I get my sixes back. It's worthy of the extra star! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hello, my dear Bev,
How did I miss this? SO glad I came across it.
A stunning denouement - the ritual with the hair and Jana's grief is a stunning conclusion.
I want an autographed copy of this book when it's in print, my dear!
Hugs and love,
Sonali
ps. Meeting Rosie this week to finalize plans. Will be in touch with you next week. How fast the days go by.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Hello, my dear Bev,
How did I miss this? SO glad I came across it.
A stunning denouement - the ritual with the hair and Jana's grief is a stunning conclusion.
I want an autographed copy of this book when it's in print, my dear!
Hugs and love,
Sonali
ps. Meeting Rosie this week to finalize plans. Will be in touch with you next week. How fast the days go by.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Thank you so very much, Sonali. I'm really glad you liked the way this story ended. I was beginning to wonder if I'd maybe disappointed a few fans. Anyway, thanks a big bunch, my friend.
Hugs, Bev
P.S. I'll e-mail you when I get back from a short vacation so you can use my regular e-mail.
xxxOO
Comment from DALLAS01
Ty could not dissuade Jana from intervening in the hostage situation. He argued against her action, using every bit of logic he could muster, including the high probability that she might get herself killed. He could tell by her blank expression and the way she leaned away from him that she merely waited for him to shut up so she could go ahead with her plan, but still he persisted.
This is a great visual of someone who is so determined that the pleas go in one ear and out the other.
All loose ends tied up. Don't know what kind of an ending I expected. But this one kind of surprised me.
The inclusion of Wasu's spirit being there to protect Tony was a great move.
What happened to the reporter?
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Ty could not dissuade Jana from intervening in the hostage situation. He argued against her action, using every bit of logic he could muster, including the high probability that she might get herself killed. He could tell by her blank expression and the way she leaned away from him that she merely waited for him to shut up so she could go ahead with her plan, but still he persisted.
This is a great visual of someone who is so determined that the pleas go in one ear and out the other.
All loose ends tied up. Don't know what kind of an ending I expected. But this one kind of surprised me.
The inclusion of Wasu's spirit being there to protect Tony was a great move.
What happened to the reporter?
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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I think maybe the ending surprised a couple of other folks. I'm glad you liked the way it went with Wasu. Can you tell I'm a dog lover? The epilogue will explain the details of Eddie's crime, and will also include information on Danika Marten.
Thanks so much, Dallas, for this awesome review. I am very appreciative of all your support over the 2 1/2 years it took for me to complete it on FanStory! You've always been gracious and considerate.
Warmest regards, Bev
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What does it feel like to have come to the end? I imagine for a while it might have an empty feeling, after living with those characters for so long.
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Since I'm editing the story extensively, I'll be living with them for a while. In fact, I'm ready to start a new novel on the site. I have several that I didn't finish before this last one, so I'm deciding which one will be a bit more low-key.
Thanks so much for your kind words and interest, Dallas. I really appreciate it.
:) Bev
Comment from drivenbackward
Well written, wfd. A few notes to consider:
but risking your life to prove a point..." -- Ellipsis should have period at end in this situation.
"Jana, for Christ's sake, Will you listen to me?" -- 'will'
His leg felt like every nerve was on fire. -- Try to show.
She screamed, "Rick," and tried to get up, -- Consider exclamation point when screaming.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Well written, wfd. A few notes to consider:
but risking your life to prove a point..." -- Ellipsis should have period at end in this situation.
"Jana, for Christ's sake, Will you listen to me?" -- 'will'
His leg felt like every nerve was on fire. -- Try to show.
She screamed, "Rick," and tried to get up, -- Consider exclamation point when screaming.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thanks for the suggestion, D. On the issue of exclamation points, they are discouraged in fiction writing.
:) Bev
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Hi, Bev.
They're discouraged in the sense that you don't overuse them. They do have a purpose in fiction writing. More information: http://fictionwriting.about.com/b/2010/12/17/reader-question-when-to-use-exclamation-points.htm
You also use one in your post, Spiritual Grandmother, which is fiction. :) db
Comment from Titan Black
This is a wild one! So, how do they plan on getting the hostages, if the man is possessed by demons? And how is it, that he is functionally able to have hostages, if he is possessed..? It seems like everybody is just standing around, procrastinating. But I like the plot... even though, I don't feel like the story has enough twist to it. Anyway, you are a good writer, and I am in suspense. Therefore, will be watching to see what happens. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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This is a wild one! So, how do they plan on getting the hostages, if the man is possessed by demons? And how is it, that he is functionally able to have hostages, if he is possessed..? It seems like everybody is just standing around, procrastinating. But I like the plot... even though, I don't feel like the story has enough twist to it. Anyway, you are a good writer, and I am in suspense. Therefore, will be watching to see what happens. Keep writing.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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Thanks for your review and insights, Titan Black.
Comment from jadapenn
Hi friend, here I is with my verdict. A very sad chapter as Rick leaves us. And that dang dog creature. It just disappeared. But took Rick with it no doubt. As always, fine writing. Pity this story is heading towards the end now. Loved it. luv jada
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Hi friend, here I is with my verdict. A very sad chapter as Rick leaves us. And that dang dog creature. It just disappeared. But took Rick with it no doubt. As always, fine writing. Pity this story is heading towards the end now. Loved it. luv jada
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Hi, Jada. Thank you for this very touching review. I am indebted to you for all your support and encouragement, my friend. I, too, feel some sadness about the novel's ending. Still, Jana and most of the others will be back in a sequel, which I will dive into after I finish editing this one. Hope you have a great week, Jada. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Janeyjane
i liked this writing very much the flow and descriptions have been done great. I give this a well deserving five stars. Thank you very much for sharing will be looking forward to more of your work.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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i liked this writing very much the flow and descriptions have been done great. I give this a well deserving five stars. Thank you very much for sharing will be looking forward to more of your work.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Thank you very much, Janeyjane. It's nice to hear from you, and I appreciate your encouraging review. :) Bev
Comment from chasennov
Chapter 69 of the book Along the Jericho Road "Wotawe Moon, Part Two" I am so glad to have the opportunity to review once again one of your excellent chapters. My wife is not on the internet at present, so I have a great opportunity. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Chapter 69 of the book Along the Jericho Road "Wotawe Moon, Part Two" I am so glad to have the opportunity to review once again one of your excellent chapters. My wife is not on the internet at present, so I have a great opportunity. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Thanks for this grand review, C. And I much appreciate both you and Stephanie's support, encouragement and generosity throughout this project. Warmest regards, Bev
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You are most welcome, Bev. Stephanie is watching something on TV, and I'm catching up to some work neglected. Fondest regards from both of us.
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:) xx
Comment from Cumbrianlass
I had to wait to today to review this.
Okay. The very first scene with Jana and Ty is worth a six. I love her tenacity - her loyalty to her people that is so much more ancient than the modern laws she upholds.
Ty knew that where she went in her mind, she went alone. - brilliant
Got the goose bumps when the dog disappeared.
And a superb - utterly superb - ending to this chapter. The ritual was poignant, brought tears to my eyes.
What an accomplishment, Bev. This is a remarkable book that totally deserves to be published.
I look forward to the epilogue, and sincerely commend you on this amazing piece of work.
Bravo, my friend. I'm proud to know you.
Love Av
xx
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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I had to wait to today to review this.
Okay. The very first scene with Jana and Ty is worth a six. I love her tenacity - her loyalty to her people that is so much more ancient than the modern laws she upholds.
Ty knew that where she went in her mind, she went alone. - brilliant
Got the goose bumps when the dog disappeared.
And a superb - utterly superb - ending to this chapter. The ritual was poignant, brought tears to my eyes.
What an accomplishment, Bev. This is a remarkable book that totally deserves to be published.
I look forward to the epilogue, and sincerely commend you on this amazing piece of work.
Bravo, my friend. I'm proud to know you.
Love Av
xx
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Aw, what a gracious and generous lady you are! You know how much I admire your writing talents, so your words are very special and sweet. Thank you for all you did to encourage and support me through this project. I have a lot of editing, and some chopping, to do before I attempt publication. But, knowing you believe in me is a wonderful gift, my dear friend.
Love and hugs, Bev
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Bev. Even though I have been among the missing quite a bit, I enjpyed this chapter of your book (I would keep in mind that today's average novel does not exceed 95,000 words however....and 69 chapters appears as a lot...Even if you break it up into two books, an editor will pull their hair out. LOL...
I , as always love your images and descriptions all the way.
"Stepping to the edge of the cliff, she tossed the hair into empty space. As it lost itself to the pull of the earth, Jana keened her grief so that the entire valley with her pain. (WOW) Good stuff, Bev.
Suggestion: "situation by going off on his own. And you're too close to the situation to be objective. (replace the word "situation in one place or the other here)
See you here soon, I hope. X0 Bob
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Hi, Bev. Even though I have been among the missing quite a bit, I enjpyed this chapter of your book (I would keep in mind that today's average novel does not exceed 95,000 words however....and 69 chapters appears as a lot...Even if you break it up into two books, an editor will pull their hair out. LOL...
I , as always love your images and descriptions all the way.
"Stepping to the edge of the cliff, she tossed the hair into empty space. As it lost itself to the pull of the earth, Jana keened her grief so that the entire valley with her pain. (WOW) Good stuff, Bev.
Suggestion: "situation by going off on his own. And you're too close to the situation to be objective. (replace the word "situation in one place or the other here)
See you here soon, I hope. X0 Bob
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Great to hear from you, Bob. You make an excellent point about the length. I plan to trim some chapters in the editing process, as this is too lengthy for the normal publisher. I've definitely got some work ahead of me. And thanks for catching that double 'situation'.
Sure appreciate your generosity and encouragement, my friend. I'm honored you took the time to stop by and read.
Xo Bev