Her Last Mistake
a tale of murderous revenge16 total reviews
Comment from Muffins
Wow, gruesome and violently brilliant! The rhymes hit the mark. The story inside this poem moved like a train minus its conductor. The acknowledgment, the reality and tenacity of evil, heated hate is shown in its rawest form with the overkill and dialogue. Its' every woman's nightmare.
This is wicked good. In your authors notes you stated you don't usually write this type of work, but I hope you will grace us with more of it!
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Wow, gruesome and violently brilliant! The rhymes hit the mark. The story inside this poem moved like a train minus its conductor. The acknowledgment, the reality and tenacity of evil, heated hate is shown in its rawest form with the overkill and dialogue. Its' every woman's nightmare.
This is wicked good. In your authors notes you stated you don't usually write this type of work, but I hope you will grace us with more of it!
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Mullins, I am flattered and delighted that you found this narrative "wicked good." With this type of encouragement I could be tempted to write more of its ilk. Thank you so much for reviewing. Rod
Comment from adewpearl
great pairing of art and poem, which is in good abcb rhyme
Excellent use of the required opening line
good internal rhyme in flashed/slashed
strong verb choices add to the intensity of emotion and dramatic action
How horrific that he also knowingly kills the unborn child - what a tragic tale
Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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great pairing of art and poem, which is in good abcb rhyme
Excellent use of the required opening line
good internal rhyme in flashed/slashed
strong verb choices add to the intensity of emotion and dramatic action
How horrific that he also knowingly kills the unborn child - what a tragic tale
Brooke
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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i hate slasher movies, Brooke, yet somehow the prompt inspired me to do the horrific. I am very pleased you enjoyed the craftsmanship and, as always, appreciate your very thoughtful commentary. Rod
Comment from Bill Schott
This one left me sad and angry. If that was your goal, you surpassed it. This was a true horror poem that left me sorry I'd read it. Nothing wrong with the rhyme or even the last line, which was a good touch.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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This one left me sad and angry. If that was your goal, you surpassed it. This was a true horror poem that left me sorry I'd read it. Nothing wrong with the rhyme or even the last line, which was a good touch.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Bill, you were not the only reviewer who found this horrific poem an unpleasant read. I have never written a slasher poem before and can't stand such movies. Still not sure what possessed me to write this one except the prompt. Thanks so much for your kind review. Rod
Comment from stanishmichelle
Your words are nicely structured in this poem of horror. I could feel the chills as I read the poem as there was good imagery embedded in it. Loved the rhymes and last stanza a lot. Good luck!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Your words are nicely structured in this poem of horror. I could feel the chills as I read the poem as there was good imagery embedded in it. Loved the rhymes and last stanza a lot. Good luck!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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So pleased you liked this macabre tale. Thank for reviewing and your best wishes.
Comment from seaglass
major horror here, to be sure, but not different that what we hear these days on the news. This is perfectly rhymed with a faultless meter making it easy to read. I like that the meanings, plot and occurrence are made clear and not left for the reader to try and figure out what the heck the poet is trying to say. I don't like riddles.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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major horror here, to be sure, but not different that what we hear these days on the news. This is perfectly rhymed with a faultless meter making it easy to read. I like that the meanings, plot and occurrence are made clear and not left for the reader to try and figure out what the heck the poet is trying to say. I don't like riddles.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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I truly appreciate hearing you did not find the poem obscure or unclear in its meaning. I do try to reach the widest audience (including young readers) possible. Thank you so much for sharing and your kind praise.
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I love the poem. It is spooky. Talk about a lover scorned. He was really mad. First he tore up the picture of his competition and then he tore up his ex-girlfriend. He wanted to be up close and personal. He used a knife. W hat is worse, he knew she was pregnant. Great work.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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I love the picture. I love the poem. It is spooky. Talk about a lover scorned. He was really mad. First he tore up the picture of his competition and then he tore up his ex-girlfriend. He wanted to be up close and personal. He used a knife. W hat is worse, he knew she was pregnant. Great work.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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So pleased you liked this gory tale of murder, nelliesellie. It was fun to write (what does that say about the poet?). Thanks for your very kind comments.
Comment from hifein
this is a very powerful poem, not leaving much to the imagination. although i hated the theme, it was well written, well paced, sequential, understandable and very strong. the graphic is a real draw.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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this is a very powerful poem, not leaving much to the imagination. although i hated the theme, it was well written, well paced, sequential, understandable and very strong. the graphic is a real draw.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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I am flattered you found this tale "powerful" and not just vicious. Thank you so much for sharing it and your extremely kind praise.
Comment from GeraldS
Wow! This was pretty heady stuff. This is one bad dude. The celebration at the end underlines the depth of evil narrated in this story. This entry will be hard to beat.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Wow! This was pretty heady stuff. This is one bad dude. The celebration at the end underlines the depth of evil narrated in this story. This entry will be hard to beat.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for reading my poem and for your most encouraging review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I absolutely loved this one, Mystery Poet! Dark and decadently depraved, this is a tale of love unrequited gone horribly astray. Not only did this madman take her life, he also slaughtered the innocent life of the unborn son she carried inside of her, a son that was not the murder's child.
Gory and creepy, and the rhyming and tempo was spot-on as well.
Great work, I hope you do very well in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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I absolutely loved this one, Mystery Poet! Dark and decadently depraved, this is a tale of love unrequited gone horribly astray. Not only did this madman take her life, he also slaughtered the innocent life of the unborn son she carried inside of her, a son that was not the murder's child.
Gory and creepy, and the rhyming and tempo was spot-on as well.
Great work, I hope you do very well in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much, Dean. Such compliments from the Macabre Master are truly appreciated.
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I felt it was great! I truly enjoyed this one.
Comment from mikemagine
Wow. In darn good poetic form, you show us a violent, vengeful man who won't be stopped. We understand his motive. We don't approve of how he's chosen to let out his rage...But it surely happens, and it occurs all over the world at any given moment. Cheating lovers...Billions of them.
I find nothing wrong with this poem, and I can easily appreciate the thought, effort, and creativeness invested.
Mike
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Wow. In darn good poetic form, you show us a violent, vengeful man who won't be stopped. We understand his motive. We don't approve of how he's chosen to let out his rage...But it surely happens, and it occurs all over the world at any given moment. Cheating lovers...Billions of them.
I find nothing wrong with this poem, and I can easily appreciate the thought, effort, and creativeness invested.
Mike
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Thank you very much, Mike, for your thoughtful and most encouraging review. It is much appreciated as it's my first foray into this genre.
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Oh, this, imo, was/is a privilege to read and review. You have quite a talent! I think you're going to do fine!
Mike