Comment from flamingstar

Excellent

Great picture. Who doesn't love a good storm? Very invigorating. I might be wrong, but I think "brilliant" is three syllables which would throw your count off on the last line. ??

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thank you for your kind review. The word brilliant is often pronounced as 3 syllables when it really only has 2 (at least that is what I researched). Thank you for your concern.

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Hello Jannypan - a good 3/5/3 - I read 'brilliant' as 2 syllables although I tend to say it as 3. A suitable subject for the AIR contest with a good picture. I also love storms - as long as I am safe indoors. Good Luck - kind regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thank you very much. You are right about the word brilliant. It is pronounced many times with 3 syllables when it really has only 2. Thank you.

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

I love storms too...as
Ing as I am safely inside...this captures the drama of them....
Great photo..........eerie noise ...I have been in a shelter on a tornado eerie is a good word for it
God bless

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thank you for your kind words.

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

I guess this could conceivably be conceived as an Air 3-5-3, given your intent to convey a storm, although the wind is not mentioned anywhere except in your authors notes about a storm. Some may feel this is not a true poem about air at all, but I see where you're coming from.

Good luck with this in the contest, however. The poet nazis will be watching you...

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thank you for the nice review. I believe that some lightning requires the interplay between cold/warm AIR masses in order to form. By the way, I have heard from several poem n**** as you refer to them. Anyway, thank you for your time/effort in this review.

reply by Dean Kuch on 29-Aug-2014

You're very welcome.

Lightning is actually formed as a part of thunderstorms, that's true. And thunderstorms have everything to do with winds and the energies they create. We know from observation of static electricity that static electrical discharges such as lightning are caused by separation of charges into positive and negative ions. Over time more of one charge builds until its natural attraction to the opposite charge causes it to migrate in an electrical discharge. So, as I stated in my review, I get where you are coming from, but many others may not.

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

I understand. However, the poem says what I intended it to say. Thanks for the info.

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi,

Your photo and poem together, really makes the reader hear the clap of lightning in the dark sky.

Nice presentation for an entry. Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2014

Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your time/effort.

Comment from Smoothiecool

Excellent

good luck in the contest

your syllable count spot on

your few words in three lines allows the reader to see and feel the lightning and its eerie noise as it flashes across the sky

good visual

good enjambment to allow free flow of sentence

cheers Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2014

Thank you for your extensive review. I appreciate your time and effort in reviewing my poem. Ok, you got me. I do not know what "enjambment means. Hope it is good. Ha! Ha! But seriously, I really appreciate your review.

reply by Smoothiecool on 29-Aug-2014

welcome

enjambment is when you allow your sentences to flow through without using capitals to jar the line
also when you continue to the net verse if you choose
hope this helps otherwise look it up on the site

cheers..SC

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thank you so much. I did not know there was a place to look up words on FanStory.

reply by Smoothiecool on 29-Aug-2014

most welcome..SC >> Faye

Comment from thee-name

Excellent

Good short decryption of lighting. I suppose we all seen some good ones.
EEIR NOISE
ANGRY SHOW OF LIGHT
BRILLIANT FLASH

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2014

Thank you for taking time to review my poem. I appreciate it very much.

reply by thee-name on 28-Aug-2014

THANK YOU!

Comment from artisart4u

Excellent

Your air poem is good to read and it has the correct amount
of syllables.

Nature is wonderful to write about.

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2014

Thank you for the review. It means a lot to mean. Your time/effort is appreciated.

Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

Really nice Air poem. Seven words and there isn't any question about your subject matter. The photo is stunning as well. Wishes for good luck! AT=/

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2014

Thank you very much for your kind words and generous stars.

Comment from tbacha58

Excellent

eerie noise
angry show of light
brilliant flash

You did an amazing verse, rhyming exactly to your perfect picture. Beautiful. I so enjoyed reading it. Good luck. Terry

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2014

Thank you for taking your time to review my poem. Thank you for the encouraging words.