Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Spring Refrain"A collection of poems on these themes
52 total reviews
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Beautifully thought out, rhymed, metered, and funny. Definitely a six unless there are some criteria that everyone who voted for it (including me) missed - Wendy
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Beautifully thought out, rhymed, metered, and funny. Definitely a six unless there are some criteria that everyone who voted for it (including me) missed - Wendy
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you!
For the record, the diet started on Monday - the exercise is being introduced more gradually since I tweaked my back last week. So there!
Steve
Comment from RYME4U
Cleverly done and well expressed.I like that the repeated lines emphasize the point you are making and the rhyming of the "ill" and "im" sounds very well done. Good job
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Cleverly done and well expressed.I like that the repeated lines emphasize the point you are making and the rhyming of the "ill" and "im" sounds very well done. Good job
Comment Written 02-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from bard owl
Wow! That could be my mantra. I have, as you have stated in your poem, the best of intentions to really get with it and do things - tomorrow This is an excellent poem that most of us can identify with. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Wow! That could be my mantra. I have, as you have stated in your poem, the best of intentions to really get with it and do things - tomorrow This is an excellent poem that most of us can identify with. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Linda!
For the record, the diet started on Monday - the exercise is being introduced more gradually since I tweaked my back last week. So there!
Steve
Comment from Caressa_08
Your poem seems what a lot of want to be dieters turn to become for one reason or the other, & that is procrastinators..Am a little perplexed by the rules of this contest, & need to study them more, though by the topic & the way it's presented,, think that you did a very good job with a popular subject...And being overweight these days is more commonplace & with all the tasty food out there to consume, it can be so difficult to be slender, to shed those extra pounds...And, also, unfortunately, it offers some people an outlet to cope, with other anxieties...Totally unhealthy, though I'm sure almost everyone ends up eating for those reasons, now & then, & not because their stomachs are growling Think the only true way some people diet is when being obese can be very detrimental to their health.
Best wishes for your entry.
Caressa
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Your poem seems what a lot of want to be dieters turn to become for one reason or the other, & that is procrastinators..Am a little perplexed by the rules of this contest, & need to study them more, though by the topic & the way it's presented,, think that you did a very good job with a popular subject...And being overweight these days is more commonplace & with all the tasty food out there to consume, it can be so difficult to be slender, to shed those extra pounds...And, also, unfortunately, it offers some people an outlet to cope, with other anxieties...Totally unhealthy, though I'm sure almost everyone ends up eating for those reasons, now & then, & not because their stomachs are growling Think the only true way some people diet is when being obese can be very detrimental to their health.
Best wishes for your entry.
Caressa
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thank you, Caressa.
Yes the rondeau redouble is a complex form with set lines from the first stanza to be repeated throughout the poem.
I really am starting a diet next week....
Comment from ravenblack
Your Brothers Grimm tells me that all your plans are in storage. Tomorrow, tomorrow- still, It would be better to jog in the crisp fall air, or so they tell me. Maybe I'll join them ...tomorrow after I quit smoking. Don't feel bad- nobody can cut it as Seraphim. Great wit and rhyme in this poem.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Your Brothers Grimm tells me that all your plans are in storage. Tomorrow, tomorrow- still, It would be better to jog in the crisp fall air, or so they tell me. Maybe I'll join them ...tomorrow after I quit smoking. Don't feel bad- nobody can cut it as Seraphim. Great wit and rhyme in this poem.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks, RB.
I had a bit of fun creating this - glad you enjoyed.
Comment from Dawn Munro
HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is fabulous! I cannot imagine a better use of this form. Clever, witty, charming and SO much fun, I'm still laughing as I type (but maybe that's 'cause it resonates with me a little TOO much)!
Best of luck in the contest. :0)
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is fabulous! I cannot imagine a better use of this form. Clever, witty, charming and SO much fun, I'm still laughing as I type (but maybe that's 'cause it resonates with me a little TOO much)!
Best of luck in the contest. :0)
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Dawn - I think we all feel the resonance of this.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, you lulled me in with the title and guilted me with your words to get some exercise and eat right, lol. I enjoyed reading it. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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this is very well written, mystery writer, you lulled me in with the title and guilted me with your words to get some exercise and eat right, lol. I enjoyed reading it. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thank you!
Comment from donaldww
The poet promises to "throw off the funk and head down to the gym" and exercise, but like many disagreeable tasks, it is scheduled for tomorrow.
A jaunty, blow-the-bugle-pitch-perfect rondeau redouble.
Good luck with the judges!
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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The poet promises to "throw off the funk and head down to the gym" and exercise, but like many disagreeable tasks, it is scheduled for tomorrow.
A jaunty, blow-the-bugle-pitch-perfect rondeau redouble.
Good luck with the judges!
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks, DW, for the fine review and the six stars - much appreciated.
Comment from gypsycaravan
Ah, sweet procrastination. I can not tell you how many times I've started a diet on Mondays. Your poem reads with style, and is clever, besides. Congratulations.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Ah, sweet procrastination. I can not tell you how many times I've started a diet on Mondays. Your poem reads with style, and is clever, besides. Congratulations.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the kind words.
Comment from Acquired Taste
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this - perhaps because I understood each and every line. And as I read your line: A fairy-tale like those of Brothers Grimm - I remembered that all of those stories were filled with demons, plagues and shadows - thus, again, my complete understanding of your poem. My best wishes for luck in this contest. Regards, AT=/
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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I thoroughly enjoyed reading this - perhaps because I understood each and every line. And as I read your line: A fairy-tale like those of Brothers Grimm - I remembered that all of those stories were filled with demons, plagues and shadows - thus, again, my complete understanding of your poem. My best wishes for luck in this contest. Regards, AT=/
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the generous review.