Normality?
Mono-rhymed self-assessment26 total reviews
Comment from Joseph W. Sestrich
I held this poem up to a mirror and what did I see? A wave of reflection crashing on the shore of me. Its reading literally left me speechless. My mind became a mezmerized audience frozen in total absorbed attention. I just floated there for some time lost in the pleasure of being so bathed by the precicse rendering of your captured and released prey; awareness. When I finally returned to myself I chose to read all the reviews you received for this poem. Aside from the unanamous and well deserved praise, I was thrilled to see how impacted the readers were by the content and how closely they related to what you had elequently exposed and revealed. I find it futile to add my comments directly related to the work. Instead I applaud the focus, and your intent of keeping it, which has granted you this writing gift and ability. Such a thing does not happen by accident. It's all well and good to understand, "knock and the door will be opened" or, "seek and ye shall find". It is an entirely different thing to know which doors are ready for the knocking, and seeking where, what you are looking for, will be found. At some junction of the journey I think we are offered a helping hand, but not before we were ready to receive it. Past that point the destinations get a lot harder to explain. The only way I can describe it is, faithfull surrender that allows destinations to come to us raather than us going to them. What an amazing journey this is......you know, you are on it. I learned, through reading the reviews and your responses to them, that you have been stricken by either illness or injury. My thoughts and well wishes are being sent your way. You mentioned how the water provides a stimulous for clairity. I am going to start drinking more water and standing under waterfalls. I feel that there is little I can tell you that you don't already know. So, I figure we will just have to enjoy whatever happens when your words free themself from captivity. My introduction to you is received by me as another welcoming door I found. Keep on truckin' my friend. joe P.S. I have really given you 8.67329 stars for this poem and, are you ready for this, a STANDING OVATION. My hands are still swollen from clapping.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2015
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I held this poem up to a mirror and what did I see? A wave of reflection crashing on the shore of me. Its reading literally left me speechless. My mind became a mezmerized audience frozen in total absorbed attention. I just floated there for some time lost in the pleasure of being so bathed by the precicse rendering of your captured and released prey; awareness. When I finally returned to myself I chose to read all the reviews you received for this poem. Aside from the unanamous and well deserved praise, I was thrilled to see how impacted the readers were by the content and how closely they related to what you had elequently exposed and revealed. I find it futile to add my comments directly related to the work. Instead I applaud the focus, and your intent of keeping it, which has granted you this writing gift and ability. Such a thing does not happen by accident. It's all well and good to understand, "knock and the door will be opened" or, "seek and ye shall find". It is an entirely different thing to know which doors are ready for the knocking, and seeking where, what you are looking for, will be found. At some junction of the journey I think we are offered a helping hand, but not before we were ready to receive it. Past that point the destinations get a lot harder to explain. The only way I can describe it is, faithfull surrender that allows destinations to come to us raather than us going to them. What an amazing journey this is......you know, you are on it. I learned, through reading the reviews and your responses to them, that you have been stricken by either illness or injury. My thoughts and well wishes are being sent your way. You mentioned how the water provides a stimulous for clairity. I am going to start drinking more water and standing under waterfalls. I feel that there is little I can tell you that you don't already know. So, I figure we will just have to enjoy whatever happens when your words free themself from captivity. My introduction to you is received by me as another welcoming door I found. Keep on truckin' my friend. joe P.S. I have really given you 8.67329 stars for this poem and, are you ready for this, a STANDING OVATION. My hands are still swollen from clapping.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2015
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Hi Joseph,
man... you humble me... and to go in and read comments on the poem... well that's above and beyond brother. The way you read in-between my thoughts is a true indication of perception and a very absorbing mind... really enjoyed your comments on surrender... you are truly spot on the mark.
Yes, you are also right about the injury part... my journey has been one big injury... if and when you have the time or the inclination to do so, I have two non-fiction prose you can read to find out a couple of things... but no need to review...
' My Erroneous Journey' part one and two and more recent 'Hey I'm listening now'... the firs,t how I ended up on fanstory or for that matter, even started writing... the second was the latest on a long list of an injury plagued life... up to you brother, no pressure, just thought it could explain where my inspiration comes from a little better.
Thanks for the magic in your heart... not only did this review take this poem to an 'all time best' it really made me appreciate your words with new eyes... really thank you!
With our thoughts we create,
original authenticity,
James.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
My Dear friend,
A very well composed and meaningful poem. Great monorhymes while being a thorough self-assessment. Great wording and imagery. This is an excellent entry for the quatrain contest and gets my vote for sure. Take care, dear friend~Debbie xx
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2014
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My Dear friend,
A very well composed and meaningful poem. Great monorhymes while being a thorough self-assessment. Great wording and imagery. This is an excellent entry for the quatrain contest and gets my vote for sure. Take care, dear friend~Debbie xx
Comment Written 03-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2014
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Hi Debbie,
thank you for your most generous response to my poem... this is indeed a beautiful surprise and a truly wonderful review my dear friend.
My wish is, you are holding strong to hope and that things will look brighter when the dust settles... be well and please! be kind to yourself.
With our thoughts we create,
original authenticity,
James xx
Comment from michaelcahill
Yeah. This is just great. I spent a long time reading each line. It all makes great sense and there is no throwing a line in or lining up some words to fill things out. It isn't forced anywhere either. His is so thought provoking and it is clear as well. I really love the last line. That strikes me for some reason. It's like the warriors cry to never surrender, but it has been lead up to by principals that won't allow it anyway, if that makes sense. :) Great mono-rhyme which didn't hinder things but actually enhanced in this case. (rare!) Wow to the artwork. I'll check out Mr. One. mikey
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2014
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Yeah. This is just great. I spent a long time reading each line. It all makes great sense and there is no throwing a line in or lining up some words to fill things out. It isn't forced anywhere either. His is so thought provoking and it is clear as well. I really love the last line. That strikes me for some reason. It's like the warriors cry to never surrender, but it has been lead up to by principals that won't allow it anyway, if that makes sense. :) Great mono-rhyme which didn't hinder things but actually enhanced in this case. (rare!) Wow to the artwork. I'll check out Mr. One. mikey
Comment Written 03-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2014
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Hi Mike,
progression through life and choices made... our path in this sojourn... yet we can still project a fruitful outcome.
Thanks so much for reading into the words and sourcing the meanings... and yes, a warrior's cry for sure, didn't look at it that way until I read your comment, but it is exactly that, my perceptive friend.
I really appreciate your fine review my brother, you scrapped under the surface and exposed the flesh... thanks Mike!
With our thoughts we create,
original authenticity,
James.
Comment from Selina Stambi
encrusted blood-dried dreams in a dogmatic duality .. good line.
James, my friend,
What a wordsmith you are turning out to be, sir! Great mono-rhyme quatrains, sparkling sprinkles of alliteration and internal rhyme.
So very well done. My best wishes are with you for the contest.
Sonali
p.s. How have you been today?
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2014
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encrusted blood-dried dreams in a dogmatic duality .. good line.
James, my friend,
What a wordsmith you are turning out to be, sir! Great mono-rhyme quatrains, sparkling sprinkles of alliteration and internal rhyme.
So very well done. My best wishes are with you for the contest.
Sonali
p.s. How have you been today?
Comment Written 02-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2014
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Hi Sonali,
thank you so much for your lovely complimentary review... you know there is nothing but respect and appreciation from me to you.
This afternoon was a Acupuncture and my static exercises in the morning, slow, but all is going reasonably good considering the pain that still lingers... yes, you'd think it would be my back, right? No, it's the shoulder... nerve pain that would drop a rhino... or maybe I'm just a souk? Either way it's doing my head in at the moment... well you asked... smile)))))).
How's home? Got over the dreadful heat yet?
The hot winds have been blowing everyday since you left this slightly browning continent and drying everything out... I think it might be a very dry--hot summer.
Gotta jet, time to go and spend a little time with my good friends, Harold and Sonia... I think you know them?
Your well wishes are truly smiled upon... thank you!
With our thoughts we create,
original authenticity,
James xx
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Wow; you've outdone yourself with this one, James. I had to read it three times to fully absorb the feel and the message. I'm no poet and can't comment on the mechanics, but the content, well, I'm all in.
This is a real "beefy" poem. Lots to chew on. I'm a fan of alliteration and you've skillfully employed this tool--"Battery of battles" (my favorite.)
I loved your concept of "falsely shackled". We are often our own worst enemy, aren't we? Peppering our minds with unhealthy criticism.
The artwork you've chosen is stunning and works perfectly with your message.
Super well done, James. Very impressive.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2014
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Wow; you've outdone yourself with this one, James. I had to read it three times to fully absorb the feel and the message. I'm no poet and can't comment on the mechanics, but the content, well, I'm all in.
This is a real "beefy" poem. Lots to chew on. I'm a fan of alliteration and you've skillfully employed this tool--"Battery of battles" (my favorite.)
I loved your concept of "falsely shackled". We are often our own worst enemy, aren't we? Peppering our minds with unhealthy criticism.
The artwork you've chosen is stunning and works perfectly with your message.
Super well done, James. Very impressive.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2014
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Hi Marietta,
such wonderful comments, I'm truly grateful you took the time to fully absorb the words and meanings attached. By the tone of your comments, I know you got my intent perfectly.
Thank you so much for this truly exceptional review, when one receives this honor from those they respect, it makes the honor all that more satisfying and credible.
With our thoughts we create,
original authenticity,
James xx
Comment from Starlight's Edge
Hi, James,
As I read this poem, I feel above all, empowerment.
Challenges happen, questions, an inner fear to lose our essence, yet empowerment and self believe keep us from failing and let ourselves yield to circumstances and weaknesses.
Excellent word choice and use of metaphors, good rhyming too and alliteration. But I would remove the periods since you are not using the punctuation all through, there are commas missing.
Good luck :)
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2014
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Hi, James,
As I read this poem, I feel above all, empowerment.
Challenges happen, questions, an inner fear to lose our essence, yet empowerment and self believe keep us from failing and let ourselves yield to circumstances and weaknesses.
Excellent word choice and use of metaphors, good rhyming too and alliteration. But I would remove the periods since you are not using the punctuation all through, there are commas missing.
Good luck :)
Comment Written 02-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2014
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Hi Starlight,
you are so right, periods gone.
Your assessment was spot on the mark... it is about going through the challenges with purpose and learning in the process. Too many times we miss the opportunity to gain growth out of big life altering moments... we live in the fear of the experience instead of exploring our natural gift, that of character... we have good minds, we should use them to our advantage, not our hindrance.
I thank you my friend for an insightful review and of course your suggestion... all of which is fully appreciated.
With our thoughts we create,
original authenticity,
James xx.
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You are welcome, and thank you for posting poetry this way. I have been so involved with prose lately, that my poetry more complex doesn't come so easily at the moment. But I still have plans to finish my poetry book in the future.
I have to confess though, in a word or two you had me going to the dictionary in my phone :)
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It's alright, the dictionary confirmed my thoughts in a couple of areas as well... I hope you do find time here and there to work on some of your poetry... you have a wonderful talent at expressing your deepest feelings through that beautiful form... I do miss your poetry. xx.
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When I finish this book (the whole trilogy) I may finish the poetry book. But I think I will just self publish, not sure yet. Just really for fun and an accomplishment, not to become a best seller :)
I confess that in this moment, my present book has me in conflict. I feel that I should go in one direction, but my mind is showing me another. I am struggling, lol. In one version, Alicia will end with Aaron, and in the other version Alicia will die with Aaron but she won't cross over, she will wait for someone else who is supposed to spend the eternity with her. Really, really lost at the moment, LOL! And I have to decide fast because of my future posts. :/
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It's your baby, you nurture it how you think it will further your cause... what's your heart telling you? You know the romantic in me would love to see Alicia and Aaron in the fairytale ending, but hey that's entirely up to the author of this book... smile)))))). xx
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that's the thing! If I change it, it may compromise the message I wanted first to convey, but my head and heart, an urge, are just telling me to make Peter the way I was thinking and change things. I also think, if I do things this way, people will want to see more Peter with Alicia than with Aaron. I suppose I will have to decide. Well, if I decide her future with Aaron, I may use my ideas between Alicia and Peter for another book, different characters.
Comment from adewpearl
good use of mono-rhyming with proximate rhyming
good alliteration and assonance in battery of battles
and alliteration in shut to shield and others
good use of enjambment
insightful self assessment in good poetic form :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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good use of mono-rhyming with proximate rhyming
good alliteration and assonance in battery of battles
and alliteration in shut to shield and others
good use of enjambment
insightful self assessment in good poetic form :-) Brooke
Comment Written 01-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Thank you for a wonderful response to this very mono-rhymed poem... not my most favorite form, but that's just how it birthed itself... who am I to question the choice of one of the many personalities that live inside my head?... smile))))).
Truly grateful for your review and rating Brooke.
With our thoughts we create,
original authenticity,
James xx.
Comment from RGstar
I saved this for today in order to give it a six stars.
Your ty's work pretty well my friend. Yes, technical, without the sensual ambiance of feel, but that is precisely what this is meant to be. From the image of the brain to the delivery of the structure, you have this spot on in creating the imagery intended.
Well worked, and well done, my friend.
Best wishes. Well worth the sixth star.
RG
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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I saved this for today in order to give it a six stars.
Your ty's work pretty well my friend. Yes, technical, without the sensual ambiance of feel, but that is precisely what this is meant to be. From the image of the brain to the delivery of the structure, you have this spot on in creating the imagery intended.
Well worked, and well done, my friend.
Best wishes. Well worth the sixth star.
RG
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Thank you so much my friend... these words coming from you mean a lot. I wasn't sure on the mono-rhymed theme, or how it would translate my message without numbing the senses. I thank you for your conformation on my query. I'm also very honored you waited to give it your stars... but never forget, your comments and review are worth more than any star... thanks again brother, you are one of life's true gentleman... much respect!
With our thoughts we create,
original authenticity,
James.
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The same respect given, my brother
Comment from ravenblack
Normality is a just a definition that many just do not fit. To me, it is almost interchangeable with conformity. " falsely shackled in self-imposed webs of my own stupidity" - been there and done that often. But then there is time to " slam shut and shield stability", to lick wounds and reassess never resigned to the fatigued failure of totality. Great mono-rhyme and good luck on your journey.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Normality is a just a definition that many just do not fit. To me, it is almost interchangeable with conformity. " falsely shackled in self-imposed webs of my own stupidity" - been there and done that often. But then there is time to " slam shut and shield stability", to lick wounds and reassess never resigned to the fatigued failure of totality. Great mono-rhyme and good luck on your journey.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Hi Raven B,
the funny thing about your accuracy is, the original title was Normality or Conformity? So it seems you struck every cord of my intention... and for me, that is a very pleasing result... thank you! And thank you for taking the time and effort for a very fine review... most appreciated.
With our thoughts we create,
original authenticity,
James.
Comment from JPilcher
Very very cool!! The image is simply phenomenal & love how your choice of background & font color choices more than just compliment it. It's almost breath taking even. Well done & good luck in the contest!! :)
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Very very cool!! The image is simply phenomenal & love how your choice of background & font color choices more than just compliment it. It's almost breath taking even. Well done & good luck in the contest!! :)
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Hi Ms Pilcher,
thank you for your review and very kind comments they are most appreciated... and a thanks for the well wishes!
With our thoughts we create,
original authenticity,
James xx
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My pleasure as always!! :)