Old Nell
A memory of a memory6 total reviews
Comment from Tatarka2
You have demonstrated such powerful description in this piece. I could "see" and almost "smell" poor Old Nell. The first-person narration works well here. The reader identifies with the kind child you were. You also did a good job of telling us about your very human satisfaction about being singled out for attention, etc., which makes the story even more appealing. Good luck in the contest. I think this is a strong entry.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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You have demonstrated such powerful description in this piece. I could "see" and almost "smell" poor Old Nell. The first-person narration works well here. The reader identifies with the kind child you were. You also did a good job of telling us about your very human satisfaction about being singled out for attention, etc., which makes the story even more appealing. Good luck in the contest. I think this is a strong entry.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your review and the five stars. Nell was a mystery to most including me, but I was her friend, and she knew that .
As I looked upon her still face she looked like a n angel carved out of stone May she rest in peace Cheers Cass
Comment from K. Lorraine
This was a very touching and poignant autobiographical story. It was perfect for this contest entry prompt. You fulfilled all of the requirements extremely well and it is definitely a contender in the contest. On a personal note, your story reminded me of an old lady that my children and I friended several years ago. She wasn't well physically and she didn't have much money to live on. I thought to add one more potato in the soup wasn't going to hurt us, so I took on feeding this woman a good meal daily. She appreciated the kindness, the nourishment and the friendship. This kind deed came back tri-fold. She too died not long after by putting a tree limb in her oven to keep warm. Thank you for sharing this fine story. There were only a few entries that seemed to fit something that you would put in you autobiography and this story was one of the best. I wish you the best in the contest...
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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This was a very touching and poignant autobiographical story. It was perfect for this contest entry prompt. You fulfilled all of the requirements extremely well and it is definitely a contender in the contest. On a personal note, your story reminded me of an old lady that my children and I friended several years ago. She wasn't well physically and she didn't have much money to live on. I thought to add one more potato in the soup wasn't going to hurt us, so I took on feeding this woman a good meal daily. She appreciated the kindness, the nourishment and the friendship. This kind deed came back tri-fold. She too died not long after by putting a tree limb in her oven to keep warm. Thank you for sharing this fine story. There were only a few entries that seemed to fit something that you would put in you autobiography and this story was one of the best. I wish you the best in the contest...
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your review and the five stars. Nell was a mystery to most people including me, but I was her friend. After she died someone came to our house to see me, but I was at school and my mother wouldn't let them speak to me. As I looked at Nell's still face she looked like an angel on a headstone in the churchyard. May she rest in peace Sincerely Cass
Comment from Craigitar
Great story, well told. An easy and interesting read. I could find nothing to correct, change or clarify. An excellent entry for this prompt. Good luck with the vote.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Great story, well told. An easy and interesting read. I could find nothing to correct, change or clarify. An excellent entry for this prompt. Good luck with the vote.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Thank you for you review and the five stars. This is my second attempt at prose writing. I am much encouraged by this response and will continue. Cheers Cass
Comment from danpald
Brave tale of a young heart open to learn
Grace discovered with life unfolding in time
Such memories make a person strong
The heart of a child open to care for someone else
Makes this tale a blessing for today when life is not with respect so held
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Brave tale of a young heart open to learn
Grace discovered with life unfolding in time
Such memories make a person strong
The heart of a child open to care for someone else
Makes this tale a blessing for today when life is not with respect so held
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your review and the five stars. Her face in death had the serenity of a graven angel, something I never ever shared with those at home. Nell was a gentle soul who harmed no-one. May she rest in peace Cheers Cass
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
I like how you first approach the story through the eyes of a child. I love how perceptive children can frequently see beyond the generally held consensus of opinion.
I can see both the allure of and distain for poor old Nell, and have to admit to a certain sympathy with your mother's view.
An interesting entry for the 'I remember' contest.
I wish you success.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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I like how you first approach the story through the eyes of a child. I love how perceptive children can frequently see beyond the generally held consensus of opinion.
I can see both the allure of and distain for poor old Nell, and have to admit to a certain sympathy with your mother's view.
An interesting entry for the 'I remember' contest.
I wish you success.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your review and the five stars. As an adult and a parent I agree, but My mother was more interested in appearances and the opinions of others than in kindness and honesty. Nell was a harmless old woman who kept away from people because she didn't look "pretty" or conform to the standards of others. In death she had the face of a graven angel, but I never told them at home .RIP Nell cheers Cass
Comment from Debbie Noland
I can tell that this is a well-chosen memorable moment for you to share. Your description of Old Nell is good, and the story of her death is interesting told with the thoughts and reactions of a child.
I hope you might be able to fix some of the technical aspects of your piece before the contest deadline. Directly under the picture is a partial sentence that reads, "whenever the weather was fine. Throughout the piece are spots where the lines aren't full and need to be connected to the ones above. Then, if you could add a blank line between your paragraphs, the piece would be much easier to read.
Your story has a lot of potential. I hate to see it not get the attention it deserves just because of some formatting issues. Good luck.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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I can tell that this is a well-chosen memorable moment for you to share. Your description of Old Nell is good, and the story of her death is interesting told with the thoughts and reactions of a child.
I hope you might be able to fix some of the technical aspects of your piece before the contest deadline. Directly under the picture is a partial sentence that reads, "whenever the weather was fine. Throughout the piece are spots where the lines aren't full and need to be connected to the ones above. Then, if you could add a blank line between your paragraphs, the piece would be much easier to read.
Your story has a lot of potential. I hate to see it not get the attention it deserves just because of some formatting issues. Good luck.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your very swift review and the four stars. This is a new departure for me in writing, finally managing to break in to prose after having a great time in poetry. I have tried to fix the things you suggest, but I don't know how successful it will be. thanks very much any way your comments are very helpful Cheers Nells friend