Reviews from

2015 Haiku

Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "Ants Crawling On Grass"
A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015

20 total reviews 
Comment from Walu Feral
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Hahahaha! G'day mate. Great work, I can't write these little things but you are fantastic at it. Ants are just the strangest things I think. I am used to giant vicious meat ants in Australian deserts and they hurt like hell, but here they have these tiny little "red Ants" that you can hardly see and they hurt just as much, go figure. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2015
    Thank you mate, I appreciate your review and kind words. :)
Comment from Mastery
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Hi, Gypsy. I like the premise of your Haiku. It follows that a picnic can certainly be ruined by ants, insects of all kinds and pollen. I am not sure leaves is what you are looking for here though. Perhaps "Spring's dust on the trees in June" Good as is though. Blessings. Bob

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you for the excellent review. :)
Comment from judiverse
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Those pesky insects can ruin a picnic. Excellent action words with crawling and ruined. You do a great job of following the Haiku format. The last line "ruined our picnic" just sums it up. They can fall into your food and drinks--not pleasant. Nice alliteration with grass and green. judi

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    thank you judi, i appreciate your excellent review
Comment from pickmeplease
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Loved the picture and the topic of the Haiku. I like that it is a Haiku related to nature and the seasons.
I think I would have liked to see the second line related directly to the ants...describing how they ruined the picnic. The picture itself is a wonderful depiction. Fun poem for kids.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you pickmeplease, I appreciate your feedback (love your name LOL)
Comment from Linda Kay
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Super job telling a whole story in one little 3 line sentence. The picture is cute and adds to it, but your Haiku could even paint the picture on its own.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you Linda, I appreciate your positive review. :)
Comment from Jackarrie
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Hi Gypsy, this is a very good haiku about ants. They do ruin many picnics. We do not like ants in our pants.
Great image.

Mary

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you Jack, I appreciate your positive review. :) hahahah yes Jack, that is true.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
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A good 5/7/5 haiku - capturing the season with green leaves and June. Amusing though uncomfortable picnic ruined by ants. Great picture to accompany. Warm regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you Dorothy, I appreciate your positive review. :)
Comment from Louise Michelle
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That is one of the most extraordinary images I've seen on Fan Story. I think you missed an opportunity to exploit it to the fullest. Would you mind telling me where you found it? Hugs, Lou

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you Luise, I appreciate your positive review. :) I always find my pictures on google
Comment from pbroussard209
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As long as they are not fire ants I don't mind. This was a fun little poem about the joys of being outside in the summer. Great job.

Trish

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you, I appreciate your review.
Comment from mbagby23
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Oh, those little thieves. Good food no more, plus I'm leaving with an empty tummy. I love the picture and color choice. Too many ants.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you, I appreciate your review.