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Odds and Ends

Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Porgy and Bess"
off the chart genuis

14 total reviews 
Comment from Joan E.
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I always enjoy the way you creatively juxtapose images and this poem is filled with examples, from the first line through to "cup runneth over". "Angst is a slow train"! Many cheers- Joan, from the Faroe Islands

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2015
    Ahh its a mind thing...apparently, from what the doctors say anyway. Hey J...you're starting to worry me...the middle of the ocean aint safe...I'm sure of it...I was in the Navy you know...-wink-....keep me and the coast guard on speed dial sweetheart...love Michael
reply by Joan E. on 07-Aug-2015
    I didn't know you were in the Navy--I feel safer already! Actually, it was only rough the first day off the coast of England. Except, today, we had a medical emergency on board and a helicopter came and took the distressed passenger back to Iceland--it has 330,000 inhabitants--so, hopefully it can provide the necessary medical care. I hope no other speed dials will be necessary! Take good care of yourself- Joan
Comment from amanda98653
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is an extraordinary write, Michael.

"zero below caught fire quicker than confessed sin
coughs up bloody murder"--wow! Striking imagery! So clever too! "Cough up" can be related to the bad, sickening side of this society.

Awesome!

Hugs

Amanda




 Comment Written 02-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
    well when you say it...it sounds like it...Hello Princess...-smile- yes, I've met sickening...and I would you never do. Good to hear from you lil' Wing...-smile- careful fun remember..-wink- love Michael
reply by amanda98653 on 03-Aug-2015
    It's very nice here. I'm safe and sound :)
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
    Sunshine on the water looks so lovely.....smile....good, been waiting to hear that. Tell John I miss him ....love
Comment from MissMerri
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Hi Michael. I find the best way to read your poetry is just to read through from top to bottom and not stop, ever, to analyze. That way I get a strong impression of where you were when writing it and what you might be wanting to say. I cannot possibly know if I'm right or wrong, but then, does it really matter? You are unique and you obviously have a way with words. I loved "chaperoned cold explosion... /human against anvil heats steel evil /blue flame frozen" for the strong images and contrasts of hot and cold, and I also was particularly fond of, "hell bent hurrah/sings a chorus of thirst quench" though I don't know what that means. It just stirs a response that I like. I also liked that you repeated some of the same phrases in the last verse that were in the first. That gives your poem a feeling of completeness. Your poems are truly interesting and challenging. I admit, I am often greatly challenged. I'm glad you are writing and posting. That makes me happy. HM

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
    Hi Happy Meadow...as you can read I've missed you. Ah I could explain it to you ...but i wont. Just a bad day Beautiful. ....thank you . I'll try to write something a bit more pleasent....love Michael
reply by MissMerri on 01-Aug-2015
    It is your choice of course, to explain or not but sometimes a little explanation helps a fan to learn your style and to better understand future writes. If I knew you better, I imagine I'd understand more...which would please me enormously. Maybe in time I will anyway. I do hope you will have many good days ahead. HM
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
    I'm just a man blessed by God...envied and hated for it by them whom I trusted as Brothers. This is one side of me now. I spent a lot of years trying to accept and love the devil worshipping Christian. those years took there toll in the cold blooded murder of the life I used to know. To this day they delight in the immortal wounds they inflicted...and I live with it.
    I have a better side Adonna...-smile- love-
Comment from artemis53
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Listening to 'Slow Train' as I write this." What an incredible song. Your poem rings true especially your comment "zero below caught fire quicker than confessed sin. I truly like the sound of that.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
    yes Maam, he's the new blues Master...he plays hard to believe like nobody's ever seen. Hey D...-smile- Well I thank you...you know some try to believe God sees all sin the same......-headshake-...He Himself said to Pilot in his scramble for escape..."they hold the greater sin" acknowledging those who breathed life into his torture and murder. love Michael
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
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Hello reconciled,

Nice poem about betrayal and revenge, ~Porgy and Bess~ is a well written poem done in a very unique way. Good job!

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
    Well you're a lil' off on this one Gypsy...but keep trying.....lol...ah thank you Dear...come on in...what would you like to drink. love Michael
Comment from ravenblack
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You have a lot going on here. Not all of it is decipherable to me, and that is okay. Creative word play and the overall impression of a slow burn is enough for me. Just because a poem is not fully understood does not mean it is not good- some poems are just meant to stir you in a direction. Angst is a slow train, acetetylene torch- a cold blue flame that combined with gunpowder will still explode or kick-off sparks eventually. Passive aggressed rather than passive aggression suggests the one on the train has a veeeeery long fuse , a damp fuse, that has been lit. Chaperoned cold explosion, human against anvil- the big squeeze assisted by many of life's travails. Hang in there.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
    angst it a slow train..."aint it a slow train"...not is. Hey Ed...-smile- yes Sir patience is virtue studied and a virgins problem...-wink- the conductors controlling the train is an illusion...its the tracks that are Important. I'm happy to see that you agree, and quite frankly I was sure you would....that indeed poetry in the mind of the reader...becomes theirs. or should if you've done it right. hang in there..hm...what ya think I been doing Ed...-smile- love Michael
Comment from robina1978
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Excellent photo to complement your poem with, it does this perfectly. I don't understand why you picked this title of: Porgy and Bess. It is a great free verse about being scared in a slow train and shots were heard.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
    I haven't a clue either...just sort of popped in...a lil' last minute genius is my guess...Hey Sis...-smile- yes indeed when shots ring out in Lionel land lie prostate and write it down...its safer and much more comfortable...kiss on the cheek , tell Mom I said hi...love Michael
Comment from Kingsland
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This poem was rather gruesome in its thoughts and phrases. I found it to have good descriptive language to get your poetic thoughts across. I enjoyed reading and writing this response for this well written thought process... John

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
    Hello John...well so was traffic yesterday, I mumbled under breath and wished several others ill wills visit. ...but I wasn't made for traffic jams John... I believe I can fly. Wish me luck -wink-...love Michael
Comment from Eric1
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Hi Micheal, wonderful poem, brilliant words, excellent music, i read through a couple of times, a few things I am still trying to get my head around, but when I do - wow!

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
    some things are better left unexperienced...as well I know you know Sir. Some men aren't bad...only moved by must ocean forse. and who's to judge the seahorse for floating...-smile-.....a friend of mines daughter...just came out of coma, he was so scared...the doctors told him ...-headshake-...she wasn't going to make it more or less....he told me a story of another father who's daughter had hung herself in the room next door...he would wait with him sometimes and talk...his daughter had come out of coma...but..you know...lot of rehabilitation...lot of damamge....the man started to cry...and my friend got mad and said...you shouldn't cry you have way more than me. Every child hopes for a love like you have for yours. love Michael
reply by Eric1 on 02-Aug-2015
    That is so true Micheal, thank you for sharing these wonderful inspirational words my friend.
Comment from JCarriger
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I listened to the music, read the poem, listened to Bonamassa again, then settled down and read the poem. Texas will try one's faith. You write in a unique style in this poem and some lines just made me pause. I especially liked (among others) "human against anvil heats steel evil" and "below zero caught fire quicker than confessed sin." I always smile when somebody says they can't kill - some of us know we can we just didn't. I, like you, leave it more to God, in my old age. Enjoyed the reading.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
    I always push the play button and then read the poem...because I write them listening...-smile- hello...yes Maam...you got that exactly right. but the why haunts like a ghost in world dead in its sin. Yes indeed I have been...will see. love Michael