Summer Love
Do you recall those summer loves?10 total reviews
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This paints some lovely images as summer melts into autumn. The metaphor of lost love and lost summer is excellent. "Now you and summer both have gone" is a really good line. And I like the repetition of the first line and the last line: "As twilight steals my breath away." The poem is altogether well done, with perfect rhyme, rhythm and flow. I think this is the best of the bunch, and will vote accordingly. Best wishes, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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This paints some lovely images as summer melts into autumn. The metaphor of lost love and lost summer is excellent. "Now you and summer both have gone" is a really good line. And I like the repetition of the first line and the last line: "As twilight steals my breath away." The poem is altogether well done, with perfect rhyme, rhythm and flow. I think this is the best of the bunch, and will vote accordingly. Best wishes, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 06-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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Jeanie, I truly appreciate this wonderful review and your support in the contest.
Comment from ann marie mazz
hello poet
what a beautiful entry
this is very much poetry
the entry is so graceful
all is well within the entry
words format and presentation
thank you for sharing
best of luck with the contest
ann marie
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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hello poet
what a beautiful entry
this is very much poetry
the entry is so graceful
all is well within the entry
words format and presentation
thank you for sharing
best of luck with the contest
ann marie
Comment Written 06-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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I am thrilled you enjoyed this poem so much and truly appreciate your kind praise.
Comment from Chrissy710
This is a really nice poem and meets the brief of the contest nicely well written and I like the way you incorporated the first line into each stanza in a spiral. Good luck for the contest Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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This is a really nice poem and meets the brief of the contest nicely well written and I like the way you incorporated the first line into each stanza in a spiral. Good luck for the contest Cheers Christine
Comment Written 06-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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Thank you for sharing "Summer Love" and for your very kind praise.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully. This is very well penned and you chose a more structured form with which to deliver your story of summer love - the repeating is perfect to enhance the forlorn tone and I always prefer it to move down in each stanza rather than simply appearing as the last line every time. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully. This is very well penned and you chose a more structured form with which to deliver your story of summer love - the repeating is perfect to enhance the forlorn tone and I always prefer it to move down in each stanza rather than simply appearing as the last line every time. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much for sharing my poem and your encouraging review.
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It was lovely and you got my vote.
Comment from Nosha17
Well presented poem about a love that was not meant to be, bringing joy while it lasted. Excellent rhyming and imagery, you captured the essence of love well in your choice of words and use of repetition. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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Well presented poem about a love that was not meant to be, bringing joy while it lasted. Excellent rhyming and imagery, you captured the essence of love well in your choice of words and use of repetition. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 05-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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I am so pleased you think I captured the "essence of love." Thank you for sharing.
Comment from TPAC
Nice and inspiring piece I find in this read, the gentle conveyances, interesting to me in their aspects, I found this work descriptive in structuring and a delight
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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Nice and inspiring piece I find in this read, the gentle conveyances, interesting to me in their aspects, I found this work descriptive in structuring and a delight
Comment Written 05-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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I am delighted you found the piece "inspiring" and interesting. Thank you so much for sharing.
Comment from Pen of Fire
This is a beautifully written poem with a sad, yet lovely story. Your rhyming is perfect. A great entry. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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This is a beautifully written poem with a sad, yet lovely story. Your rhyming is perfect. A great entry. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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Thank you for your lovely praise and encouragement.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous,
Aw... so sad. I never had a summer love, all my loves were long term. ~Summer Love~is a very romantic poem and I like it. Good job!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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Hello anonymous,
Aw... so sad. I never had a summer love, all my loves were long term. ~Summer Love~is a very romantic poem and I like it. Good job!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
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I am delighted you enjoyed my poem despite its sad ending. Thank you for sharing.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Very nice author of a beautiful summer.
I really like how you expressed in your poetic voice the love o the summer when you said-
Each night we linger on the beach
to watch the sunset's afterglow.
Twilight steals my breath away.
I whisper softly, "Please don't go."
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2015
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Very nice author of a beautiful summer.
I really like how you expressed in your poetic voice the love o the summer when you said-
Each night we linger on the beach
to watch the sunset's afterglow.
Twilight steals my breath away.
I whisper softly, "Please don't go."
Comment Written 05-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2015
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Hi Gert. I am delighted you enjoyed this poem and truly appreciate the feedback, especially your pointing out which verses you like best.
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You are so welcome
Gert
Comment from Leineco
Excellent use of the repeating line. You have evoked a theme most of us have experienced quite beautifully :-)
One quick thought on construction. . .last stanza - Line 3
you might consider swapping and to to (the transition is a bit smoother :-) [just my 2 cents :-) ]
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2015
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Excellent use of the repeating line. You have evoked a theme most of us have experienced quite beautifully :-)
One quick thought on construction. . .last stanza - Line 3
you might consider swapping and to to (the transition is a bit smoother :-) [just my 2 cents :-) ]
Comment Written 05-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2015
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Thank you for sharing my poem and your thoughts. I absolutely agree with your suggestion and have already made the correction.