haiku (winter dew drops)
haiku-16 syllables11 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
This paints a very vivid picture of the first icing of the season, when everything is still green and you have the contrast with the icy blast that dooms most of them to die, but before death, leaves its last beautiful portrait! Great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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This paints a very vivid picture of the first icing of the season, when everything is still green and you have the contrast with the icy blast that dooms most of them to die, but before death, leaves its last beautiful portrait! Great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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Thank you
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello mystery writer,
I like your haiku. It has the right amount of syllables-good job- and a clever satori line. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Good job!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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Hello mystery writer,
I like your haiku. It has the right amount of syllables-good job- and a clever satori line. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Good job!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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Thank you
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
The picture that your haiku provokes is beautiful. I can visualize the crystal dewdrops clinging in the morning untouched by humans. The grass shimmering in the early morning sun. Thank you for sharing. Kudos on a job well done.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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The picture that your haiku provokes is beautiful. I can visualize the crystal dewdrops clinging in the morning untouched by humans. The grass shimmering in the early morning sun. Thank you for sharing. Kudos on a job well done.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Thank you
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Your welcome
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Your welcome
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Ha. I loved the speed of this Haiku. Gentle and visual. From a big picture, I can already see the crystalized garden frozen over. Good luck and cheers.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Ha. I loved the speed of this Haiku. Gentle and visual. From a big picture, I can already see the crystalized garden frozen over. Good luck and cheers.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Thank you
Comment from zanya
Yes a distinctively effective wintry feel portrayed here in this Nature Haiku as the essence of the coldness of the season summed up in striking imagery 'crystallised garden'.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Yes a distinctively effective wintry feel portrayed here in this Nature Haiku as the essence of the coldness of the season summed up in striking imagery 'crystallised garden'.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Thank you
Comment from mauial
winter dew drops sit
frozen on blades of grass
crystallised garden
I think it would read better this way:
(haiku) winter dew drops
winter dew drops
sit frozen on blades of grass
crystallised garden
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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winter dew drops sit
frozen on blades of grass
crystallised garden
I think it would read better this way:
(haiku) winter dew drops
winter dew drops
sit frozen on blades of grass
crystallised garden
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Thanks- i suppose i was just sticking to syllables per line, but that still does not take me over the correct count. I may change it to read that way. Thanks again
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is a lovely haiku, well written. The imagery is vivid and concrete, and all rules of the prompt as specified are kept. Good job. Best wishes, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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This is a lovely haiku, well written. The imagery is vivid and concrete, and all rules of the prompt as specified are kept. Good job. Best wishes, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Thank you
Comment from Chunger
Beautiful poem. I am clearly able to picture each individual raindrop solidified on a field of grass that has not yet turned brown. Great job and I appreciate that you did not add a picture with it.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Beautiful poem. I am clearly able to picture each individual raindrop solidified on a field of grass that has not yet turned brown. Great job and I appreciate that you did not add a picture with it.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Thank you
Comment from jlsavell
author,
I am far from an expert on haiku or any other kind of poetry, but according to the guidelines this is a haiku. I find these forms most difficult to write due to its limits and rules and, therefore, true creativity and originality is a must.
Your work is truly beautiful and creates such great imagery within its strict perimeters. well done..
jls
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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author,
I am far from an expert on haiku or any other kind of poetry, but according to the guidelines this is a haiku. I find these forms most difficult to write due to its limits and rules and, therefore, true creativity and originality is a must.
Your work is truly beautiful and creates such great imagery within its strict perimeters. well done..
jls
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Thank you
Comment from Jacob Collins
I thought that you captured the beauty of winter well in this piece, although I don't want to start thinking about winter quite yet. I liked your choice of words especially crystalized garden. I couldn't find anything to critique. Good luck in the contest...Jacob
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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I thought that you captured the beauty of winter well in this piece, although I don't want to start thinking about winter quite yet. I liked your choice of words especially crystalized garden. I couldn't find anything to critique. Good luck in the contest...Jacob
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Thank you