2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Senryu ( joy and laughter fill )"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
34 total reviews
Comment from mfowler
Very clever, Gypsy.
You had me with that wonderful outpouring of joy, only to bring it back to the more mundane,'What's for dinner, mom?' the contrast is what produces the irony and my smile. Best of luck with this.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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Very clever, Gypsy.
You had me with that wonderful outpouring of joy, only to bring it back to the more mundane,'What's for dinner, mom?' the contrast is what produces the irony and my smile. Best of luck with this.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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Thank you for the awesome review! :)
Comment from lightink
That satori line just brings one down from that bubbly overjoyed place! :)
Let's get practical, right! :) It's a fun poem that illustrates motherhood quite well.
Just for the sake of the contest, I am wondering if the first two lines count as concrete imagery... Anyways, I enjoyed your poem a lot!
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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That satori line just brings one down from that bubbly overjoyed place! :)
Let's get practical, right! :) It's a fun poem that illustrates motherhood quite well.
Just for the sake of the contest, I am wondering if the first two lines count as concrete imagery... Anyways, I enjoyed your poem a lot!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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thank you lightkink :)
Comment from Writeronboard
This is a sweet Senryu as it justifies the emotion one feels about family. The photo is beautiful as well. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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This is a sweet Senryu as it justifies the emotion one feels about family. The photo is beautiful as well. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Thank you writeronboard :)
Comment from ravenblack
And with joy and laughter comes...obligation. the daily chore of making dinner. A slight burst of the balloon, but I bet every meal is made with love. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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And with joy and laughter comes...obligation. the daily chore of making dinner. A slight burst of the balloon, but I bet every meal is made with love. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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thank you ravenblack :)
Comment from Tessa Kay
Very nice. I thought at first it was about the Mom's feelings. Cleverly redirected
to the children. Well done.
All the best in the competition. :)
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Very nice. I thought at first it was about the Mom's feelings. Cleverly redirected
to the children. Well done.
All the best in the competition. :)
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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The poem is about the mother has for her children and what she does for them. Thank you Tessa :)
Comment from Nosha17
Having lovely positive thoughts in life is the sure way to happiness. Nice upbeat poem, with well chosen words and great picture. Good luck in the contest. faye
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Having lovely positive thoughts in life is the sure way to happiness. Nice upbeat poem, with well chosen words and great picture. Good luck in the contest. faye
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Thank you Faye :)
Comment from Glasstruth
Very innocent and full of life. Put a smile on my face. Love the ending line. It's what gives this poem character. Well crafted. Good luck with the contest. Les
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Very innocent and full of life. Put a smile on my face. Love the ending line. It's what gives this poem character. Well crafted. Good luck with the contest. Les
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Thank you Les :)
Comment from Pantygynt
The senryu form is usually associated with people so this kicks off on the right foot. It is frequently a resource for humour, so it's still going well. The structural things are pretty much the same as for haiku and the satori line gives a different view. All in all I like this. Good fun and well constructed.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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The senryu form is usually associated with people so this kicks off on the right foot. It is frequently a resource for humour, so it's still going well. The structural things are pretty much the same as for haiku and the satori line gives a different view. All in all I like this. Good fun and well constructed.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Thank you Pantygynt :)
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hello. Lovely poem full of dedication and hope. You're children will grow up to adore you knowing how much you took care of them despite the busy lifestyle. Cheers.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Hello. Lovely poem full of dedication and hope. You're children will grow up to adore you knowing how much you took care of them despite the busy lifestyle. Cheers.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Thank you Benjamin :)
Comment from ellie6
What a beautiful picture, it captures all the essence of the senryu, happiness, fun, pure joy. I love it. It is not easy to convey much feeling in three short lines, but you have done it admirably.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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What a beautiful picture, it captures all the essence of the senryu, happiness, fun, pure joy. I love it. It is not easy to convey much feeling in three short lines, but you have done it admirably.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Thank you ellie :)