2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "haiku suite (dead leaves)"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
13 total reviews
Comment from write hand blue
An interesting poem about death with an appropriate black background.
Death in the garden is described in three forms.
Constructed with a bewildering number of rules I'll leave for others to comment on.
:) Mel.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2015
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An interesting poem about death with an appropriate black background.
Death in the garden is described in three forms.
Constructed with a bewildering number of rules I'll leave for others to comment on.
:) Mel.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2015
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Thank you Mel :)
Comment from Domino 2
Three dark (I like it) excellent haiku, 'G' (I accessed this from your portfolio).
Top subtle alliteration in each.
All top satoris which make the reader think, and are all apt. to the preceding lines.
I particularly like the subtle second, as crows are associated with being scary - their '"caws" certainly sound it.
Excellent entry that deserves to contend, IMO.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
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Three dark (I like it) excellent haiku, 'G' (I accessed this from your portfolio).
Top subtle alliteration in each.
All top satoris which make the reader think, and are all apt. to the preceding lines.
I particularly like the subtle second, as crows are associated with being scary - their '"caws" certainly sound it.
Excellent entry that deserves to contend, IMO.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 15-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
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Thank you Ray :)
Comment from mauial
The rules are quite specific about words starting with same letter, so you might want to edit to conform, otherwise the sponsor might get your entry disqualified.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
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The rules are quite specific about words starting with same letter, so you might want to edit to conform, otherwise the sponsor might get your entry disqualified.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2015
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The rules say two words with same letters and two other words with different letter.
Comment from ravenblack
Good syllable count and your suite sticks to the theme, in essence, of dead leaves. Your second though is more of a senryu than a haiku. Fruit fly market- there will be a lot of those on Halloween. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2015
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Good syllable count and your suite sticks to the theme, in essence, of dead leaves. Your second though is more of a senryu than a haiku. Fruit fly market- there will be a lot of those on Halloween. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2015
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Thank you ravenblack :)
Comment from seaglass
I like these haiku clusters. More than death, they make me think of late autumn, several days following Halloween. Then again, some view autumn as a time of death. I must say a coffin sale is a bit creepy. Don't know that I've ever seen one .
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2015
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I like these haiku clusters. More than death, they make me think of late autumn, several days following Halloween. Then again, some view autumn as a time of death. I must say a coffin sale is a bit creepy. Don't know that I've ever seen one .
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2015
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Hello, the coffin haiku is suppose to be a joke but maybe in bad taste, I may change that one. Thank you very much. :)
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NO, don't change it...Death is creepy, after all. It has a surprise element to it because it is unusual.
Comment from RahulChadha
very nicely written poetry, wonderfully expressed and put into words. So much said in so little words. Best of luck and best wishes.
I would really appreciate if you would read my work and give your precious review.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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very nicely written poetry, wonderfully expressed and put into words. So much said in so little words. Best of luck and best wishes.
I would really appreciate if you would read my work and give your precious review.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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Hello, ok rahulchadha, I will check out your work. Thank you for the review.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi...not easy this contest...but as far as I can tell you met the rules and with a fun twist to it.
good luck in this one.
padumachitta
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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Hi...not easy this contest...but as far as I can tell you met the rules and with a fun twist to it.
good luck in this one.
padumachitta
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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Thank you :)
Comment from rspoet
This appears to me to be an excellent haiku suite
I saw no violations of the many rules
Excellent imagery and connection
The fist is my favorite as a pure haiku
Good humor in the second one
Evil grandpa gets no breaks
Use of proper naturally occurring alliteration
Excellent short/long/short presentation
Well done
Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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This appears to me to be an excellent haiku suite
I saw no violations of the many rules
Excellent imagery and connection
The fist is my favorite as a pure haiku
Good humor in the second one
Evil grandpa gets no breaks
Use of proper naturally occurring alliteration
Excellent short/long/short presentation
Well done
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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thank you rspoet :)
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
Sadly winter is coming but for now we need to enjoy the cooler weather and pretty colors. I went for a walk before all the football started today, I think I walked like three miles because it was so nice and I'm thinking about going for another just because in a couple weeks it's gonna be cold and I won't want to. Great job friend
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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Sadly winter is coming but for now we need to enjoy the cooler weather and pretty colors. I went for a walk before all the football started today, I think I walked like three miles because it was so nice and I'm thinking about going for another just because in a couple weeks it's gonna be cold and I won't want to. Great job friend
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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thank you experienceingliphe
Comment from RGstar
Yes. There were no punches left in the air with this one. The title of the competition was truly embedded.
Lyrically sound in terms of your thesis.
Well done.
Best wishes,
RGstar
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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Yes. There were no punches left in the air with this one. The title of the competition was truly embedded.
Lyrically sound in terms of your thesis.
Well done.
Best wishes,
RGstar
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2015
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thank you rgstar :)