The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Piper, part 2"Young Adult Fantasy
20 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Oh, this is poignant...and magical. I'm not generally one who reads a lot of fantasy, but (clever you) I became emotionally attached to Piper in chapter one, and the idea of his serenading his beloved grandfather has swelled my heart. Fae, you say?
I'm happy to have signed on to your fan club and now? I can quote Fae, as to my engagement in reading your book:
"Well, this is fortuitous."
I've only time for two chapters for it is 3:16 AM! You'll be hearing from me again soon!
Excellent writing that appeals to my senses!
Karenina
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Oh, this is poignant...and magical. I'm not generally one who reads a lot of fantasy, but (clever you) I became emotionally attached to Piper in chapter one, and the idea of his serenading his beloved grandfather has swelled my heart. Fae, you say?
I'm happy to have signed on to your fan club and now? I can quote Fae, as to my engagement in reading your book:
"Well, this is fortuitous."
I've only time for two chapters for it is 3:16 AM! You'll be hearing from me again soon!
Excellent writing that appeals to my senses!
Karenina
Comment Written 09-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Hi again Karenina,
Oh, my. I am so grateful that you are engaged by the characters and even quoting one of them. I'm flattered by the fact you are reading fantasy even when it isn't your first choice.
Thank you!
Debi
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I suppose GOOD fantasy is my choice!
Who knew!
(smile)
Comment from May 1
The beginning of this chapter is so sad and beautifully written. Your descriptions of music are simply amazing. Well, now things are getting even more interesting, I love it.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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The beginning of this chapter is so sad and beautifully written. Your descriptions of music are simply amazing. Well, now things are getting even more interesting, I love it.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Thank you for going back and reading from the beginning. I am honored that you would.
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No, problem. It's really fun to read and I wish I had more time to read it in one go but since I have my plate full I'll have to savor it slowly.
Comment from Nosha17
I liked the last line ending, I look forward to the next part. I liked the music being played over and over, gave him comfort since his grandfather died. Wonder who the mystery figure is. Most enjoyable. faye
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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I liked the last line ending, I look forward to the next part. I liked the music being played over and over, gave him comfort since his grandfather died. Wonder who the mystery figure is. Most enjoyable. faye
Comment Written 12-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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Hi Faye,
Thank you for taking the time to read both chapters and catch up on the story. I appreciate you mentioning that you liked the ending and the parts you enjoyed.
Thank you,
Deborah
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Hi friend, six stars are all I can give you. But still i hope this encourage your talent. Tlike a singer who needs great silence in himself to sing well ,you have got this quiet and silence, a certain relaxed mood. Try hard to keep it and build on it. I love the story. I really do. It is getting more interesting in that it is broadening its areas . Lovely. Look forward to the next episode.
Benny Beeharry
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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Hi friend, six stars are all I can give you. But still i hope this encourage your talent. Tlike a singer who needs great silence in himself to sing well ,you have got this quiet and silence, a certain relaxed mood. Try hard to keep it and build on it. I love the story. I really do. It is getting more interesting in that it is broadening its areas . Lovely. Look forward to the next episode.
Benny Beeharry
Comment Written 12-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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Hi Benny Beeharry,
Thank you for the wonderful six stars! Even better are your encouraging comments! I am so happy to hear you are enjoying the story and that you like the writing stye. Posting prose is not something I generally do so this is big step for me, and a big commitment since it will take a series of postings to tell the story. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Thank you. Debi
Comment from jpduck
I enjoy your expressive writing. I feel you think very carefully about your choice of words.
'It was a connection Piper was unwilling to release' (I'm not sure I understand this sentence. It seems to me Piper was demonstrating the opposite).
Adrian
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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I enjoy your expressive writing. I feel you think very carefully about your choice of words.
'It was a connection Piper was unwilling to release' (I'm not sure I understand this sentence. It seems to me Piper was demonstrating the opposite).
Adrian
Comment Written 12-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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Thank you for the encouraging review. I appreciate you stopping by to read and offer your comments.
In answer to your question. I meant that Piper could not leave his grandfather so he stayed to play his flute all night.
Comment from Zue65
Oh my this is also quite an interesting read and surely living up to the promise of a real fantasy story. Piper playing the flute was quite a haunting scene as I imagine him playing while absorbed with sadness and grief over the death of his father. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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Oh my this is also quite an interesting read and surely living up to the promise of a real fantasy story. Piper playing the flute was quite a haunting scene as I imagine him playing while absorbed with sadness and grief over the death of his father. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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Thank you for the wonderful review. I am pleased that you found the scene haunting and that you enjoyed the story.
Comment from rspoet
A wonderful story, w.j., you write like Piper plays
each word lingering on the night air
a touch of magic and heart too
A wonderful transition, as well,
when the fey appears -
A stranger of strength, insight and humor
and a touch of mystery
and such a perfect place to end
their meeting is not one of chance
the fey is there with purpose
and piper is a part of that purpose
till next time...
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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A wonderful story, w.j., you write like Piper plays
each word lingering on the night air
a touch of magic and heart too
A wonderful transition, as well,
when the fey appears -
A stranger of strength, insight and humor
and a touch of mystery
and such a perfect place to end
their meeting is not one of chance
the fey is there with purpose
and piper is a part of that purpose
till next time...
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Wow! You say such encouraging things about the writing and the story. And six stars, too! Thank you!
I like that you found the Fae a stranger of strength, insight and humor, and a touch of mystery. Yes, he does have a purpose.
See you soon. Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
- I like how you put the notes for the previous chapter and review in red. I found that an interesting way to separate it from the new chapter.
-This chapter is very good and held my attention throughout.
-There is such sadness and pure emotion coming from Piper.
-At the same time, there was such love and admiration. Even nature was still all around, awed by the beautiful sounds:
- "Even the moon seemed to fall under the enchantment of the dedicatory serenade."
- After Piper is spent, emotionally and physically, from playing all night, someone approaches. My reaction is "Uh-oh, the gates are closed and he is out here all alone, and now "A hooded figure stood about twenty yards away."
- Your description of the Fae is quite vivid and eerie.
- I get to the last line, and said to myself, "You can't end here!"
-Actually, I am really enjoying your story, and even though I want to know more, I don't want it to end, either.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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- I like how you put the notes for the previous chapter and review in red. I found that an interesting way to separate it from the new chapter.
-This chapter is very good and held my attention throughout.
-There is such sadness and pure emotion coming from Piper.
-At the same time, there was such love and admiration. Even nature was still all around, awed by the beautiful sounds:
- "Even the moon seemed to fall under the enchantment of the dedicatory serenade."
- After Piper is spent, emotionally and physically, from playing all night, someone approaches. My reaction is "Uh-oh, the gates are closed and he is out here all alone, and now "A hooded figure stood about twenty yards away."
- Your description of the Fae is quite vivid and eerie.
- I get to the last line, and said to myself, "You can't end here!"
-Actually, I am really enjoying your story, and even though I want to know more, I don't want it to end, either.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Thank you for the very generous stars! Even more, thank you for the detailed comments. I am so flattered that you like this chapter and the story so far. I like that you found the Fae eerie. I was hoping he was. That you want more of the story is music to my ears. Thank you! Debi
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You are very welcome for the much deserved stars and review. Thank you for sharing your comments, in turn, and I definitely want more chapters:)
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Another well written chapter to this book. A good deviation with the introduction of the Fae, thus deepening the fantasy element of the tale. Good descriptions and a great ending here.
Just a couple of thoughts-
Perhaps include a short summary of the previous chapter to help entice new readers.
grandfather this morning - that morning to maintain the tense.
Oh, why? - needs closing speech marks here.
About an hour before dawn, a heavy sigh was all he had left. - I was wondering about this as he started just after midnight until dawn meant somewhere between four to six hours of non-stop playing of a flute?
All the best
G
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hi there,
Another well written chapter to this book. A good deviation with the introduction of the Fae, thus deepening the fantasy element of the tale. Good descriptions and a great ending here.
Just a couple of thoughts-
Perhaps include a short summary of the previous chapter to help entice new readers.
grandfather this morning - that morning to maintain the tense.
Oh, why? - needs closing speech marks here.
About an hour before dawn, a heavy sigh was all he had left. - I was wondering about this as he started just after midnight until dawn meant somewhere between four to six hours of non-stop playing of a flute?
All the best
G
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Thank you for an extremely helpful review. I've corrected the SPAG you pointed out and added a summary of the previous chapter. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review so closely.
As far as the length of time playing his flute, I don't think it is unlikely that Piper could have played for four hours or even longer. I know professional musicians who play over eight hours a day. I know amateur musicians who go to school and then practice for hours for competitions, and even some that lose track of time and play until morning. Left alone, I've lost track of time and played for hours without realizing and I'm no professional. You don't intend to do it, you're just so caught up you kind of lose yourself to it. You do eventually run out of spit though and have to stop because your mouth is so dry.
Comment from c_lucas
Most of the people you meet in a grave yard are not friendly and they seldom praise your skill. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Most of the people you meet in a grave yard are not friendly and they seldom praise your skill. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hi Charlie,
You are so right about the people you meet in graveyards. I appreciate the excellent review and am happy you enjoyed this chapter. Debi
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You're welcome, Debi. Charlie