Comment from frogbook

Excellent

Good one for the prompt with it's clever last line especially. Now you are thinking like a carnivore-haha. Best of luck in the booth.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2016

Thanks for the review.A few years ago I did see the migration of wildebeest and zebras. The crossing of the swollen banks in such a mad, clumsy rush is any lion's dream. Cheers judester

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

I wouldn't want to be a wildebeest on that river bank.
On the other hand, wildebeests aren't the easiest prey to bring down.
Gonna take some team work.

I wonder if you could use a more ominus verb than 'waits' in the first line.
Every word is magnified in these short form poems.

Maybe lurks, or crouch, something more active than waits.

Just a thought.

Best of luck.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016

Yes,you are so right, lurk is a much better word.Thanks for the review and helpful advice, cheers j

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

I hope that the contest specification that the poem should be about one carnivore means one species of carnivore rather than a lone specimen, for your image hangs firmly on the word 'pride'. Splendid assonance in your last line!

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016

Thanks for the review, wouldn't be the first time I misread the prompt.I will check on that. Thanks, j