Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

Congrats on winning the Faith poetry contest, Steve. Your form is excellent in this villanelle, even though you have taken some slight liberties in the repeating lines. Your honor in this contest is well deserved.

Kim

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2016

Thanks, Kim. I've noticed outside of FanStory, poets take liberties with the strict form all the time.

Steve

Comment from jlsavell

Excellent

kiwisteveh, congratulations on your win. An exceptional poem. To me it speaks of the great empire of false religion including Christendom. I do believe the Scriptures use the great harlot as the personification of such deceived greatness, A wonderful work. Jimi

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016

Thanks, Jimi. Yes, religion has a lot to answer for. Who was it who said 'The only religion I practise is kindness'?

Steve

reply by jlsavell on 18-Oct-2016

Dalai Lama

Comment from Scarbrems

Excellent

Let's be honest about it, I wouldn't know a villanelle from a cheeseboard, so it isn't as though you'll get a in-depth analysis of form and what-have-you from this review.

I can, however, tell you I loved it. 'I am Storm' full of strength and power, maybe the storm here is secularism? 'Tear down your petty temples raised to fear', emphatic repetition, here.

There's a commandment like quality to this. 'Strip off the mask,' etc. Thou shalt do away with all the 'baubles'?

A unusual and refreshing take on the faith theme. congratulations on your well - deserved win.

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016

Thanks, Emma. I've won the Faith contest twice now - bith times with poems that actually question faith. Not sure what that tells us!

Steve

Comment from Contests

A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016

Thank you.

Steve

Comment from amahra

Excellent

Tear down your petty temples raised to fear;
I ride the Storm, and lo, your time is near. [I love these repeated words. It was a great choice. Liked the poem for its message, rhythm and rhyming scheme. Great job.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016

Thanks for the very kind words. Glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from Dean Kuch

Exceptional

Well, you stated that you must use your two rhymes very carefully, Steve, and I feel that by all intents and purposes you have done precisely that in this stunning rendition of your Villanelle.
Simply superb, sir, and I won't bore you with all of the intricacies as to why.
I'm sure you already know.
Great work with this, Steve, most sincerely. Best of luck to you in the Faith Poetry Competition.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016

Dean, thanks for the high praise. I sweated, bled and shed tears a little more than usual over this one, so I'm glad you felt it worked.

Steve

reply by Dean Kuch on 15-Sep-2016

My pleasure, Steve.
~Dean

Comment from frogbook

Excellent

An eye catching piece of art and a very original and descriptive poem with powerful phrasing and a good use of this interesting form.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thanks for the kine words.

Steve

Comment from hhalapin19

Excellent

This is a wonderful piece! I can feel the emotions you had while writing this and it is very well worded. It creates such a beautiful image in my mind as I read it. A great example of what this site is all about and a wonderful one to read. God Bless.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thank you, Heather, and welcome to FanStory. I don't think I have reviewed anything of yours yet, but I will get around to it!

Steve

Comment from indigloaura

Excellent

Wow. What a compelling piece. I love that you turned the stereotypical "Faith" upside down here. Faith instead, in the Storm. I'm sure some would be offended by this, but I found it to be a fascinating read. GREAT JOB!

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thanks, Laura.

Actually people have read various things into this, but yes, I was challenging conventional religious faith...

Steve

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

This is the way to do it, Steve. Enter a Villanelle into the Faith Contest.

Naturally you've written to perfection and with your personification and vivid language created a poem to remember.

Best wishes to you in the contest.

Gloria

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thanks, Gloria.

I take it you're still working on your villanelle. I let this one sit and simmer for a while - not my usual slapdash method. What I found is that many of the lines are interchangeable, so I did a fair bit of tinkering with the order...


Steve

reply by Gloria .... on 14-Sep-2016

I haven't even starting thinking about my Villanelle yet at least not with my conscious mind. It's likely working away somewhere in the subconscious though.

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016

That's the best way, sometimes...