Comment from MissMerri

Excellent

Susan, this is a perfectly beautiful Kyrielle Sonnet. I thought your meter and rhymes were perfect and the repeated lines fit ever-so-smoothly into the plan. The mood is romantic and totally lovely. I'm sure this will do quite well in this contest.

I have only one minor suggestion: In this line...
"ignore reality's, dark saddened plight ..." I think the comma should be after "dark" and not before it. (Good things happen after dark! ) Okay, that was uncalled for. ;")
Anyway... I love your sonnet. Good luck... though you don't really need it.

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2016

Thank you so much!!!! and for correcting!! I love that you read my little poem!! and this wonderful review!!! thanks again!!

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

A belated welcome to FanStory--this is the first post of yours I've read. I hope the site is fulfilling your goals for membership.

I admired the ethereal title and artwork you selected to establish the mood for your poem. I enjoyed the sonnet and its rhymes plus repeats. Your alliteration of "r's" added to the intensity of you message. Best wishes in the contest- Joan

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016

Hi Joan!!! thank you so much!!! I'm glad you enjoyed this!! ( why does alliteration of r's mean?)

reply by Joan E. on 10-Oct-2016

In your second stanza, in particular, you used several words beginning with "r," which intensified the message. Cheers- Joan

reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016

OHH... that sounds like a good thing then...apologies..new writer. :-)

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very beautiful Kyrielle Sonnet you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. Hugs, Teri

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016

Hi teri!!! thanks for reading and the great review!!! i so appreciate it!!

Comment from michaelcahill

Exceptional

Hey, I really like this. I was expecting a much choppier read and I'll be, it just flowed smooth as can be. That's pretty unusual for this form considering the line being repeated over and over and over and LOL
Seriously, I didn't notice at all, smooth as glass. A very romantic and loving atmosphere to this, yeah, I'm one of those. Loved it. I think you might win this. mikey

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016

:-O Michael! choppier? Where is the love???? hehehe yes, I have found some wonderful teachers here...and I am focusing more on skills...Iv'e found a deep appreciation for the Sonnet,,,,and want it to be correct....so this requires slowing down and focusing...asking for help...and just not trying to force it....so its been working!!!...I never would have though a structured piece of poetry...i could even get used to!! I seem to love the challenge..weird. ANYWAY, I had a feeling you might like this....you tender soul you!!! and I am so happy you do!!! Thanks always for reading mikey..I SO APPRECIATE IT!!!...hugs to you...I hope all is well with you... :-)))))))))))) ( sorry i haven't been doing the potlatch too much...daughter's been having a lot of medical issues lately and my writing has slowed down a bit)...but i do try and read everything!! it's all so very good!!!

Comment from Nika2016

Excellent

Fantasy...the best escape...costs less and hurts less than other vices..The repeating lines are nice.
I presume poets are the best at fantasy...it's what we do as writers...
I like the freshness of the color..too.

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016

Awe thanks for reading and the wonderful review

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

This is a nicely composed Kyrielle sonnet. Romantic and
smoothly written. Flows well from one line to the next. I wish
you much luck in the contest with this fine entry. Marilyn

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016

thank you dear!

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Outstanding sonnet, Susan. I've not had the pleasur eof reading your poetry before,but will watch for it from now on if you don't mind. I liked this stanza in particular:

"While tender visions gratify my heart,
we soar together ... nevermore to part ,
ignore reality's, dark saddened plight ...
as soothing dreams embark throughout the night."

Bravo! Blessings, Bob

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016

Well aren't you sweet!! So glad you enjoyed it!...

Comment from Mary Wakeford

Excellent

nevermore to part , -> extra space before comma


I enjoyed this poem and the repeating -- 'as soothing dreams embark throughout the night.' Lovely imagery and background chpice for presentation.

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016

thank you Mary!!! glad you enjoyed it! I
ll fix that too!

Comment from crybry67

Excellent

I thought your Kirielle was wonderful. It flowed well, good meter. You had great use of rhyme as well. Our dreams can seem so real at times.

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016

AWE thanks so much for reading and the great review!!!

Comment from Warren Rodgers

Excellent

Susan, you've written a beautiful Kyrielle Sonnet for the contest! All the technical stuff is perfect, your repeating line fits into your closing couplet seamlessly and your Meter is very well done to provide the reader a smooth lyrical read. Our dreams can soothe a hurting heart and even comfort one in times of overwhelming grief. I think you have a true contender here! Thank you for writing a superb poem for the contest. I wish you good luck in the booth!

All the best, Rodger

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016

you are so sweet!!! i'm glad you liked this ( lol I tried really hard)...but i am happy with it now!!! thanks for reading and the awesome review!!