The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "The Piper, part 10"Young Adult Fantasy
17 total reviews
Comment from karenina
And this is what comes of not keeping an eye on your charges...
Yet again, a wonderfully written chapter with lots of fine detail offered in an easy style...
I found myself going back to read whole paragraphs just to enjoy the "craft" of the "telling."
I'm as befuddled as can be. Was the Fae lunging forward to save Piper? Or was he behind the attack of the wolves? Whatever will become of Rupert!?
And so I'm squeezing one more chapter in now!
Karenina
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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And this is what comes of not keeping an eye on your charges...
Yet again, a wonderfully written chapter with lots of fine detail offered in an easy style...
I found myself going back to read whole paragraphs just to enjoy the "craft" of the "telling."
I'm as befuddled as can be. Was the Fae lunging forward to save Piper? Or was he behind the attack of the wolves? Whatever will become of Rupert!?
And so I'm squeezing one more chapter in now!
Karenina
Comment Written 19-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Hi Karenina,
I flattered that you have kept reading. Thank you for the generous comments about the writing and how it makes you want to read it again. I am honored.
Debi
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I'm just grateful I'm here to experience it!
Comment from May 1
Haha, Rupert has his priorities straight. What Braun is saying sounds practical but still...Oh, no...It sounds like the boys are in trouble. Well, that sure is one explosive ending, I love it.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Haha, Rupert has his priorities straight. What Braun is saying sounds practical but still...Oh, no...It sounds like the boys are in trouble. Well, that sure is one explosive ending, I love it.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Hi May 1,
Your analysis is so fun to read. I love reactions. Thanks for taking the time to read and review.
Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like the whole idea of learning to depend on yourself since these young apprentices will be troubadours and probably never sure of where they will be or what the circumstances will be.
-It seems like Master Braun has things well organized.
-I like his philosophy of doing a job that you are not familiar with first.
-It seems odd that Axel would lose track of Rupert, but I guess that is to create suspense and confusion.
-It also draws Piper deeper into the forest.
-The scene is pretty intense as it nears the end. I am guessing it is Summerstorm at the end, but I first thought of the image of Piper's grandfather in some way.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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-I like the whole idea of learning to depend on yourself since these young apprentices will be troubadours and probably never sure of where they will be or what the circumstances will be.
-It seems like Master Braun has things well organized.
-I like his philosophy of doing a job that you are not familiar with first.
-It seems odd that Axel would lose track of Rupert, but I guess that is to create suspense and confusion.
-It also draws Piper deeper into the forest.
-The scene is pretty intense as it nears the end. I am guessing it is Summerstorm at the end, but I first thought of the image of Piper's grandfather in some way.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the six stars, Pam. Thank you too for the excellent analysis of the chapter. I based Axel on a family member who never seems to keep track of the kids he is asked to watch while their mom is doing something else. Somehow those kids survive some crazy situations.
I like your possibilities of the one intervening for Piper being either Summerstorm or Piper's grandfather.
Thank you for taking time to read and review. I appreciate it,.
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You are very welcome and deserving and I appreciate your reply and sharing the story.
I guess we'll have to see who that white haired person was at the end!
Comment from rspoet
It seems Axel is not such a reliable person
to send Rupert with to gather wood.
Didn't quite "keep him safe," as instructed.
Fortunately, there is a talented guardian watching over Piper.
I suspect it was Summerstorm with the white hair,
challenging the wolf, but there may be others involved that we haven't met.
Excellent chapter. Rupert going with Piper,
reminds me of Samwise going with Frodo in the Rings.
The journey has begun with a bit of excitement.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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It seems Axel is not such a reliable person
to send Rupert with to gather wood.
Didn't quite "keep him safe," as instructed.
Fortunately, there is a talented guardian watching over Piper.
I suspect it was Summerstorm with the white hair,
challenging the wolf, but there may be others involved that we haven't met.
Excellent chapter. Rupert going with Piper,
reminds me of Samwise going with Frodo in the Rings.
The journey has begun with a bit of excitement.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Well done.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the six stars, and even more for the encouraging comments and analysis. You keep mentioning some of my favorite works. The Lord of the Rings is one of my favorites. Next chapter soon. I look forward so reading more of your works.
Comment from Bill Schott
This has got a few characters that I'll have to backtrack to understand the motivation here. Your synopsis at the entry point helps a lot. I was surprised at this cliffhange.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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This has got a few characters that I'll have to backtrack to understand the motivation here. Your synopsis at the entry point helps a lot. I was surprised at this cliffhange.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Hi Bill,
Thank you so much for dropping by to read and review. Maybe it's time I put a list characters in the notes for those that are just catching the story in the middle. Thanks for the great review.
Debi
Comment from F. Wehr3
Really good work on this part of the story. I'm guessing it was the fae who intervened on behalf of Piper. I found a couple of things for your consideration.
Piper picked up his flute, admired its new traveling case for a moment, then lifted the strap over his head so that it crossed his chest. --As a suggestion only, I recommend making a list out of this sentence. Place a conjunction 'and' before then (Piper picked, admired, and lifted).
He stepped into the trees and paused. The air was several degrees cooler in the shade.-- I know precisely what you mean, but I suggest you reword stepped into the trees. Maybe stepped into the tree line where the air cooled a few degrees in the shade. Again only a suggestion.
Overall, great work and I look forward to more.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Really good work on this part of the story. I'm guessing it was the fae who intervened on behalf of Piper. I found a couple of things for your consideration.
Piper picked up his flute, admired its new traveling case for a moment, then lifted the strap over his head so that it crossed his chest. --As a suggestion only, I recommend making a list out of this sentence. Place a conjunction 'and' before then (Piper picked, admired, and lifted).
He stepped into the trees and paused. The air was several degrees cooler in the shade.-- I know precisely what you mean, but I suggest you reword stepped into the trees. Maybe stepped into the tree line where the air cooled a few degrees in the shade. Again only a suggestion.
Overall, great work and I look forward to more.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 11-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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HI Russell,
Thank you for the detailed review and your suggestions. I appreciate you taking the time to read my work and your help in making it better.
Debi
Comment from Spitfire
Page turner ending. Can't wait for the next chapter. I'm thinking if Pipers loses an arm, he wouldn't able to play the flute anymore. Nice juxtaposition of the humor of putting up a lopsided tent, then the deadly attack by wolves.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Page turner ending. Can't wait for the next chapter. I'm thinking if Pipers loses an arm, he wouldn't able to play the flute anymore. Nice juxtaposition of the humor of putting up a lopsided tent, then the deadly attack by wolves.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much for the sixer, Shari!
I appreciate your analysis and encouraging comments about it being a page turner. Yes, a musician needs his fingers and arms to ply his craft. I appreciate you sticking with the story. Thank you!
Debi
Comment from Mastery
Hi, debi. I am impressed with your prose. I don't believe I ever read any of it before. You have a superb handle on natural-sounding dialogue for sure.
I am sorry I have missed previous chapters but sort of got the hang of it from your notes etc. You have wonderful sense of imagery throughout the chapter. Like:
"Piper picked up his flute, admired its new traveling case for a moment, then lifted the strap over his head so that it crossed his chest. He arranged his satchel on his opposite shoulder so that the straps crossed perfectly over his chest."
Bravo! Good job, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Hi, debi. I am impressed with your prose. I don't believe I ever read any of it before. You have a superb handle on natural-sounding dialogue for sure.
I am sorry I have missed previous chapters but sort of got the hang of it from your notes etc. You have wonderful sense of imagery throughout the chapter. Like:
"Piper picked up his flute, admired its new traveling case for a moment, then lifted the strap over his head so that it crossed his chest. He arranged his satchel on his opposite shoulder so that the straps crossed perfectly over his chest."
Bravo! Good job, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 10-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Bob. I appreciate you stopping in to read and review and give encouragement. Thank you for pointing out the imagery that you liked. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review.
Debi
Comment from kriver
Hi,
This is a good fantasy story line.
Good plot twist at the end.
Over all it is a good write with
excellent conflict at the end of the story.
It leaves the reader wanting to read
some more to find out what happened.
This is a good writing technique to employ.
Best regards,
K River
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Hi,
This is a good fantasy story line.
Good plot twist at the end.
Over all it is a good write with
excellent conflict at the end of the story.
It leaves the reader wanting to read
some more to find out what happened.
This is a good writing technique to employ.
Best regards,
K River
Comment Written 09-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Hi K River,
Thank you for the analysis and kind comments about the story line and the plot twist. I am pleased to hear it leaves the reader wanting to read more. I appreciate you taking time to read and review.
Debi
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Whew. He has been saved by the Fae hasn't he. The Fae (Redd-Leif Summerstorm)is very interested in Piper. He has been trying to get him alone. What is the message he is wanting to deliver? Good job Debi. Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Whew. He has been saved by the Fae hasn't he. The Fae (Redd-Leif Summerstorm)is very interested in Piper. He has been trying to get him alone. What is the message he is wanting to deliver? Good job Debi. Nancy
Comment Written 09-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Hi Nancy,
Thank you for the wonderful six stars and even more for the encouraging comments. Thank you for continuing with the story. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review. Debi