The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "The Piper, part 13"Young Adult Fantasy
22 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Debi!
Just checking in. The last few posts I had reviewed long ago and far away. It was funny looking at back at my comments from 2017. I didn't leave a comment on this one, so I'm jumping back in.
Great suspense building up here as we wonder what this new twist will bring...
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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Hi Debi!
Just checking in. The last few posts I had reviewed long ago and far away. It was funny looking at back at my comments from 2017. I didn't leave a comment on this one, so I'm jumping back in.
Great suspense building up here as we wonder what this new twist will bring...
Comment Written 28-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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Hi Rhonda,
I didn't expect any reviews today so this was a real treat. I'm going to have to go back and read from the beginning to see if the story makes sense.
Thank you so much for checking in. Oh, I see this is where the wolf enters the cave...
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🥰
Comment from May 1
Yes, I feel like in situations like this nothing helps. Ah, doubt must be worse than it all. Wow, it sure sounds like he has such a special relationship with his flute. Wow, seeing him play must be magical. Aww, I love that you give us a glimpse into how he and the flute came first to be together. His grandfather was awesome! The description of the first time he played it is wonderful. Ah, the rational people, they don't understand the call of art. Well, those eyes staring at him sure is creepy. Wow, a talking wolf well that sure is an awesome way to end the chapter.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Yes, I feel like in situations like this nothing helps. Ah, doubt must be worse than it all. Wow, it sure sounds like he has such a special relationship with his flute. Wow, seeing him play must be magical. Aww, I love that you give us a glimpse into how he and the flute came first to be together. His grandfather was awesome! The description of the first time he played it is wonderful. Ah, the rational people, they don't understand the call of art. Well, those eyes staring at him sure is creepy. Wow, a talking wolf well that sure is an awesome way to end the chapter.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Hi May 1,
Thank you from the excellent analysis. I love your reaction to the talking wolf.
Debi
Comment from rspoet
Now that just isn't fair! You can't end a chapter like that.
If I had the novel, I'd immediately flip to the next chapter
and start reading, even if I was up till late into the night.
The thought processes of Piper, with the anxiety building, are spot on,
and turning to his flute is the best solution, as Redd-Leif suggested.
The flash back to his grandfather is very constructive
and provides some of the background to Piper's story.
It also adds a bit of family familiarity to the chapter.
The female wolf, who appreciates music, is a very intriguing addition to the ending.
Very well done
Deserves a 10!
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Now that just isn't fair! You can't end a chapter like that.
If I had the novel, I'd immediately flip to the next chapter
and start reading, even if I was up till late into the night.
The thought processes of Piper, with the anxiety building, are spot on,
and turning to his flute is the best solution, as Redd-Leif suggested.
The flash back to his grandfather is very constructive
and provides some of the background to Piper's story.
It also adds a bit of family familiarity to the chapter.
The female wolf, who appreciates music, is a very intriguing addition to the ending.
Very well done
Deserves a 10!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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LOL. You are so generous! Thank you for the six stars and the thought of a 10. I worried about trying a flashback so I appreciate you mentioning that you found it constructive. I was hoping to get another chapter posted this weekend, but life has been crazy this week. I love the thought that you would stay up late to read the next chapter if only it were there. Thank you so much!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Another very good chapter, Debi.
-I like how you show the concern and thoughts
of Piper as he is waiting for Red- Leif to return with Rupert.
-You show his anxiety very well.
-I think to calm his thoughts, he thinks back to his grandfather,
and when he first got his flute; it was magic as soon as he played it.
-He was lost in the music, but I am surprised he didn't focus on the tunes
Red-Leif told him were magic and would keep him safe.
-I wonder if it would have made a difference; instead, a wolf
walked into the cave. Had that wolf attacked Rupert?
-We will await the next chapter to see.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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-Another very good chapter, Debi.
-I like how you show the concern and thoughts
of Piper as he is waiting for Red- Leif to return with Rupert.
-You show his anxiety very well.
-I think to calm his thoughts, he thinks back to his grandfather,
and when he first got his flute; it was magic as soon as he played it.
-He was lost in the music, but I am surprised he didn't focus on the tunes
Red-Leif told him were magic and would keep him safe.
-I wonder if it would have made a difference; instead, a wolf
walked into the cave. Had that wolf attacked Rupert?
-We will await the next chapter to see.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Hi Pam,
Thank you for the wonderful six stars! I appreciate your analysis and for you pointing out what worked well. That can be as important as knowing what needs to be fixed since I know what to keep doing.
Debi
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You are very welcome and deserving, Debi. I am glad you appreciated the comments.
Comment from Mustang Patty
The use of the flute in your story is interesting. I like how you can count on it when the moment seems just right. The wolf that entered at the end has me curious. Looking forward to the next chapter,
~patty~
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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The use of the flute in your story is interesting. I like how you can count on it when the moment seems just right. The wolf that entered at the end has me curious. Looking forward to the next chapter,
~patty~
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Hi Patty,
Thank you for the encouraging words that you look forward to the next chapter. I love hearing that.
Debi
Comment from rwilliam
There was no truer companion than his flute. They had grown up together. It understood his moods, his needs. It knew how to console, soothe, heal, inspire. It knew how to transport him beyond time and place.--I LOVE this part. AS a writer I feel the same way. Great writing!! :-)
WHOA great ending...this is so creative and fun to read. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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There was no truer companion than his flute. They had grown up together. It understood his moods, his needs. It knew how to console, soothe, heal, inspire. It knew how to transport him beyond time and place.--I LOVE this part. AS a writer I feel the same way. Great writing!! :-)
WHOA great ending...this is so creative and fun to read. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the insightful review. Yes, we all need that something that we enjoy and gets us through the day. I am happy to hear the part of about the flute being his true companion struck a chord with you, and that you liked the ending. I appreciate the encouragement.
Comment from Bill Schott
What a great story chapter. The flashbacks and teh Fae's 'helpful' words are all coming together as the wolf, in this last scene, walks past the fire and leaves me thinking Piper has been played.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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What a great story chapter. The flashbacks and teh Fae's 'helpful' words are all coming together as the wolf, in this last scene, walks past the fire and leaves me thinking Piper has been played.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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Hi Bill,
Thank you for the great review. I appreciate the comments about the flashback, and who knows about that wolf ....
Comment from meganblue11
I love this! Great work. Writing has me pulled in regardless of the fact I haven't read prior chapters. I am excited to read more!
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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I love this! Great work. Writing has me pulled in regardless of the fact I haven't read prior chapters. I am excited to read more!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for you kind words of encouragement. I am happy you enjoyed reading it.
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Hi dear friend, as usual, I love the strength of the language and its short sentences and simplicity. The amount of details are just adequate to say everything needed.
Piper was real, a person walking, talking in real.
Well done.
Danny Jock
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Hi dear friend, as usual, I love the strength of the language and its short sentences and simplicity. The amount of details are just adequate to say everything needed.
Piper was real, a person walking, talking in real.
Well done.
Danny Jock
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the encouraging comments about Piper coming to life. It is music to my ears. I appreciate you stopping to read and review, Danny.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Debi, this is a fascinating fantasy story. I liked how you kept the pace steady, allowed me to almost fall into the story itself.
I didn't see any issues, and loved the character play you penned it well.
A solid read, and imaginative.
Thanks for sharing.
m
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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Dear Debi, this is a fascinating fantasy story. I liked how you kept the pace steady, allowed me to almost fall into the story itself.
I didn't see any issues, and loved the character play you penned it well.
A solid read, and imaginative.
Thanks for sharing.
m
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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Hi Maureen,
It is so good to see a review from you! I appreciate the comments about the writing and am happy to hear you enjoyed it.
Debi