Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

Congratulations on a well deserved win. It is easy to visualize your characters. Teenagers generally think adults are clueless, but Dr. Pepper certainly confirms it. He seems to be in the wrong profession.

I know this was written as a screenplay, but it would only take a bit of tweaking to make it into a comedy sketch as well. Loved it.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017

Thanks so much for the reading and review! Much appreciated.
Age and authority do not necessarily add up to intelligence, as our public life is demonstrating now:)
Thanks again for stopping by.
Stacia

reply by w.j.debi on 22-Jun-2017

Always happy to read works from my instructor. Sorry, I don't visit nearly as much as I would like.

reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017

That's okay! We all read and write as much as we can, which is usually not nearly enough.
Thanks again.

Comment from Contests

A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017

Thanks so much! Not expected, much appreciated:)

Comment from antonieta

Exceptional

Hi Stacia,

I think this extract is very good. I have studied how to write scripts and this one is just perfect. I also like the dialogue, as usual you are a master concerning dialogue.

Antonieta

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017

Thank you so much for stopping by, Antonieta! Much appreciated.
I look forward, as usual, to having you in class starting Monday:)
Have a great weekend. Let me know if you have questions.
All the Best,
Stacia

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very cute screenplay you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive wording and cute dialogue. I enjoyed reading and reviewing. Best wishes in the contest! Teri

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017

Thanks for stopping by again, Teri! Glad it resonated with you:) Stacia

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

I liked this piece. A good finger pointing at current affairs in the US, I would hazard.

CUT TO FIRST FEMALE STUDENT AND BOYFRIEND MIDDLE ROW.
They cling to each other, shaking with silent laughter. - I think the lower case sentence here should be bracketed for consistency.

Some direction you give are in capitals and some are bracketed. I originally thought that the cuts were capitalised only but this changes as we get down further. - this seems to be both - LAUGHTER IN BLEACHERS. CUT TO FEMALE STUDENT AND BOYFRIEND IN BLEACHERS, LAUGHING SO HARD THEY ARE WIPING TEARS FROM THEIR EYES.

All the best
GMG

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017

Hi, GMG
Thanks for the reading and review! Much appreciated.
I'll have to go back and look at the formatting--
the general idea was to capitalize stage directions/cuts, but lower case for the specific characters'/actors' stage movement. I'll see what I can do to revise it.
Thanks again for stopping by.
Stacia

Comment from oliver818

Exceptional

What a great piece of writing! I loved it, it was hilarious! Poor old pompous Dean, getting himself into all sorts of confusion. Thanks for sharing and best of luck with the competition

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017

Thanks for the reading and review, Oliver! Much appreciated.
I run into my fair share of Pepper's type--but maybe we all think that way!
Thanks again for stopping by:)
Stacia