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Odds and Ends

Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "One Too Many"
off the chart genuis

3 total reviews 
Comment from MissMerri
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Don't laugh, but I just thought this poem shined so brightly, nothing less than six stars would work. I especially loved your use of the word "jubilee." That is so appropriate, considering one of the underlying themes of this poem seems to be "time." Jubilee was a very special time of setting slaves free, as I recall, as well as ending all debt. You speak of the freedom you feel with someone you enjoy being with, the kind of freedom you describe so well in the very first line... "comfortable as shoes off free," and then elaborate further in the following lines about "peaceful seasons surrender time." It reminded me of those special times when we, as artists, become so lost in our creative work, we feel outside of time, which is how I imagine God is always. So, if time is the "underlying theme" what might be the main theme? I confess, I'm not sure, but I believe you are once again describing a person you love, or have loved in the past, someone who made you feel so creative and comfortable and free... as if you had no debt, no worries, no self-consciousness, no inhibiting bonds whatsoever. Perhaps this feeling is akin to the feelings we get when we remember being a child safe in our family home where love protects and does not condemn. That brings me to forgiveness... another theme delicately woven among the threads of your poem. (I use the word "delicate" because you are very gentle and subtle with your ideas, sprinkling them among the words which seem sometimes to be selected for their sounds as much as for their meaning or emotional impact. What a creative way to write poetry!) Home is paired with nourishment and comfort and ease and to me, forgiveness too. For any family to function, there must be an abundance of forgiveness. We all need it, and as you point out, should be willing to give as well as receive. When God forgives us (back to the year of jubilee, so symbolic of God's provision for our sin) we are left with a cleanliness that allows us to start fresh and leave our soiled past behind. (Your imaginative line about "cleanliness meadowed in remembrance" triggers many thoughts!) Hopefully, we never quite forget what we have confessed and buried, but in a sense, we do leave it behind too, as we celebrate our jubilee of new beginnings. You always close with similar words to your opening, which creates a satisfying circle to the poem. I like that.

Well, I apologize for getting a little carried away, but your poetry so often triggers deep emotions that inspire me to try to see what you see. I think you are an artist who enjoys painting with words and the pictures you paint are fascinating and more in the realm of impressionistic, rather than realistic. Yet, the way your words blend and sing together, with all the colors of the rainbow, creates something beautifully appealing. I always enjoy reading your poems. Thank you for posting two, and I look forward to more. MM

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
    -smile-....yes I''d forgotten about the year of jubilee. but I think some anniversarries arrive unexpectedly and are honoring with the warm embrace of remembrance. my goodness Meadow are you strung out on coffee....this the longest review I've ever recieved...I feel so special around you...-smile-...ah what do I know, when you hang around the good stuff somes bound to rub off on ya....you wanna make three wishes and rub my tummy...smile-...love ya Bud. Michael
Comment from SeanFox16
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi reconciled. I really enjoyed this delightful, poignant poem. I love spiritual poetry in general and this was a very thought provoking piece. Thank you for sharing and God bless.

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
    Wow...well what ya know. Hey there...is there many more on this island...? will we be rescued soon...? aha...why thank you Shaun its good to see a human being. love Michael
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello reconciled

I like how you are telling the reader that time is the essence to --
Take time to feel comfy and free after you take off your shoes
it doesn't take time to forgive
how in time the sunset shines when one confess

This line is so true which are good reasons to create
peaceful seasons surrender time
sweet home calls family back for supper
I Like this one
nourishment forever makes room for no man's island
hollowed out soul fill yourself full
Here is an-- Angie karan (quote)
No man is an island... when one hurts we all hurt, we are all interconnected with each other. No one is self sustaining, we all rely on each other. By sharing, our gains are magnified and out losses mitigated, our lives are easier."

Thank you for sharing your thoughts; they made me ponder. Well worth the time


Gert

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
    too me...and poetry that follows allows the reader to own its shadow. the first stanza is someone who loves you enough to encourage understanding before timely experience costs too much.
    we should take care of our forgiving not be selfish with it, because we all fall short of the Glory, and shall awaken someday to His eyes seen. I appreciate this review Gert. It seems Ive stepped in some doo doo....I really wish theyd start cleaning up after themselves...and me. love Michael
reply by Gert sherwood on 25-Apr-2017
    Hi reconciled
    What do you mean when you said
    It seems Ive stepped in some doo doo?
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
    Well.....I dont want to notice or anything...but after eighty or so reads you start to wonder if anybody likes ya...I know I know...its ah its an insecurity thing....I'm sorry Ill try harder....smile-....love-
reply by Gert sherwood on 25-Apr-2017
    Why do feel no one likes your writing;
    I know I do.
    As I said I like to ponder why--it helps me yes, realize the beauty and art of the different styles of the way others write their thought into poetry

    Gert
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
    my writing...ah yea no...no I'm sure it has nothing to do with that. I'm just being mr funny Gert...I dont let prejidisyum effect me. I wear lots a latex...wink. thank you for enjoying love-