The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "The Piper, part 16"Young Adult Fantasy
17 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi, checking back in. Another spot I missed a review from the past. I'm beginning to like Sheba, and wonder what relationship she, and Redd-Leif have with Piper. You are still building the mystery. I love your patience with your plot.
Hugs,
Rhonda
ð??º
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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Hi, checking back in. Another spot I missed a review from the past. I'm beginning to like Sheba, and wonder what relationship she, and Redd-Leif have with Piper. You are still building the mystery. I love your patience with your plot.
Hugs,
Rhonda
ð??º
Comment Written 28-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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Hi Rhonda,
Thank you so much for checking back. I'm glad you are enjoying it and Sheba.
Debi
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So much fun!!
Comment from May 1
Once again, such a beautiful description. Oh, I see, it's interesting to note that they know the boy. Is he half-Fae I wonder. I love the vocabulary you chose for the last paragraph, it works so perfectly.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Once again, such a beautiful description. Oh, I see, it's interesting to note that they know the boy. Is he half-Fae I wonder. I love the vocabulary you chose for the last paragraph, it works so perfectly.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Hi May 1,
Thank you for the encouraging comments. I love your question.
Debi
Comment from Spitfire
Another well-penned chapter.
Thunder cracked and rolled like giant wooden wheels groaning under an immense weight.--excellent simile
"I just wish he wouldn't pull so hard on my fur."
"You thought it was cute when he was three."
Humor always helps the tension in a piece.
You capture Piper's world so well. I'm impressed.
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Another well-penned chapter.
Thunder cracked and rolled like giant wooden wheels groaning under an immense weight.--excellent simile
"I just wish he wouldn't pull so hard on my fur."
"You thought it was cute when he was three."
Humor always helps the tension in a piece.
You capture Piper's world so well. I'm impressed.
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Thank you so much for the six stars, Shari. I am happy you enjoyed the humor. Thank you for the kind comments about the writing and the use of the simile. Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A good chapter, Debi.
-It leads nicely from the end
of the previous one.
-Sheba has been staying with
Piper, and made sure no one
would see evidence of them being there.
-We don't know who might have been
passing by, and neither do Sheba and Summerstorm.
-I like the use of the thunderstorm to shield them from
whatever might be out there.
-You have left us with some mystery--who might have
been out there? What is Burkehart going to do (even though
he is not in this chapter?) Who is it he might not be able
to trust? What is next for Piper and where is Rupert?
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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-A good chapter, Debi.
-It leads nicely from the end
of the previous one.
-Sheba has been staying with
Piper, and made sure no one
would see evidence of them being there.
-We don't know who might have been
passing by, and neither do Sheba and Summerstorm.
-I like the use of the thunderstorm to shield them from
whatever might be out there.
-You have left us with some mystery--who might have
been out there? What is Burkehart going to do (even though
he is not in this chapter?) Who is it he might not be able
to trust? What is next for Piper and where is Rupert?
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Thank you for the shiny six star rating, Pam. I appreciate it and your encouraging comments. Thank you for continuing to follow the story. I like the questions you have about the story. Debi
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Debi. I enjoy the story, and am glad you found my questions interesting! I guess that is what mystery is all about--questions.
Comment from rspoet
So, we'll have to wait a bit to learn the answer to Burkehart's question.
A good technique to maintain the suspense.
The initial description of Redd-Lief's entrance is very effective
and we soon learn there is an earlier connection between Sheba and Piper.
It seems there are many past links with and to Piper.
A solid tingling to the end of this chapter
Summerstorm's instincts and the veiling sound of the rain
provide more suspense, as the chapter ends.
Another fine addition to the book, my friend.
Well done.
RS
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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So, we'll have to wait a bit to learn the answer to Burkehart's question.
A good technique to maintain the suspense.
The initial description of Redd-Lief's entrance is very effective
and we soon learn there is an earlier connection between Sheba and Piper.
It seems there are many past links with and to Piper.
A solid tingling to the end of this chapter
Summerstorm's instincts and the veiling sound of the rain
provide more suspense, as the chapter ends.
Another fine addition to the book, my friend.
Well done.
RS
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Hi RS. Thank you for the pretty yellow stars. They mean a lot. I appreciate the comments about Redd-Leif's entrance. It is nice to know what works. Thank you for continuing to follow the story. Debi
Comment from kriver
Hi Debi,
This is a really good fairy tale
Very creative writing
The dialogue works very well
It appears to be well thought out
Best regards,
K River
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Hi Debi,
This is a really good fairy tale
Very creative writing
The dialogue works very well
It appears to be well thought out
Best regards,
K River
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Thank you, K River, for the kind comments about the writing. I am happy to hear you enjoy the fairy tale and especially the dialogue. Debi
Comment from F. Wehr3
Excellent descriptive work! I enjoyed this part with the talking wolf, and the realization that she's more than it seems. Looking forward to more.
"Well, he looks to be at ease with you at the moment so the memories must be in there somewhere.--I think a comma before your conjunction so.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Excellent descriptive work! I enjoyed this part with the talking wolf, and the realization that she's more than it seems. Looking forward to more.
"Well, he looks to be at ease with you at the moment so the memories must be in there somewhere.--I think a comma before your conjunction so.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Hi Russell,
Thank you for the six star rating. Your comments about the descriptive work mean a lot since you do such an excellent job in that area in your stories. Thank you for the recommendation on the comma. Fixing it now. Debi
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Is the Captain outside the cave? Did he have time to follow the tracks before the rain started? We are left once again to ponder just what Summerstorm wants of Piper? Perhaps when Piper wakes up we will learn. Good job Debi. Nancy
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Is the Captain outside the cave? Did he have time to follow the tracks before the rain started? We are left once again to ponder just what Summerstorm wants of Piper? Perhaps when Piper wakes up we will learn. Good job Debi. Nancy
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Hi Nancy. I like all the questions you ask. Just the type I am hoping most readers are asking. Thank you for continuing to follow the story. Debi
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Great characters and imagery, with an intriguing plot that drew me in and makes me want to read on -
dialogue between Sheba and Red-leaf flows naturally -
all in all, a most impressive write, Debi.
Blessings,
Margaret
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Great characters and imagery, with an intriguing plot that drew me in and makes me want to read on -
dialogue between Sheba and Red-leaf flows naturally -
all in all, a most impressive write, Debi.
Blessings,
Margaret
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Thank you, Margaret. Your encouraging comments mean a lot, especially coming from one of the best writer on the site.
Comment from JDRBAR
Very well written and a pleasure to read. Found just one nit..."in preparation to cook a meal." (for cooking a meal), or (in preparing to cook) Just a suggestion.
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Very well written and a pleasure to read. Found just one nit..."in preparation to cook a meal." (for cooking a meal), or (in preparing to cook) Just a suggestion.
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Thank you for the close read. I have corrected the nit. I appreciate the encouraging comments about the writing. Thank you for stopping by to read and review.