The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "The Piper, part 19"Young Adult Fantasy
13 total reviews
Comment from May 1
I feel like Piper was raised in a society where they were led to believe in one thing but that's not necessarily the whole truth. I wish he was a bit more open-minded. Well, I can understand Redd-Leif's reaction any human would have done the same if they could when their family was threatened. That's so sad. Poor Redd-Leif...
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
  |
I feel like Piper was raised in a society where they were led to believe in one thing but that's not necessarily the whole truth. I wish he was a bit more open-minded. Well, I can understand Redd-Leif's reaction any human would have done the same if they could when their family was threatened. That's so sad. Poor Redd-Leif...
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
-
Hi May 1,
What a perceptive review. I really appreciate the comments on this one. Debi
Comment from Spitfire
You threw me for a loop when I read Piper wondered if this were a trick. Well-written account of how Piper's mother was hit with a poisoned arrow.
I'm not sure if it's possible for a man to rip off another man's arm.
Other than that your details make me suspend belief and take part in this strange world.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
 |
You threw me for a loop when I read Piper wondered if this were a trick. Well-written account of how Piper's mother was hit with a poisoned arrow.
I'm not sure if it's possible for a man to rip off another man's arm.
Other than that your details make me suspend belief and take part in this strange world.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
-
Hi Shari,
Thank you so much for the splendid six star review! I appreciate the comments on what works and what doesn't. Have a wonderful Sunday evening.
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a lovely chapter to your story of Piper's heritage. Ending lines are especially nice: "Piper glanced out into the rain, then back at the fire. He placed his flute to his lips, took a deep breath, and improvised a tune to echo the mood of the rain." Marilyn
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
|
This is a lovely chapter to your story of Piper's heritage. Ending lines are especially nice: "Piper glanced out into the rain, then back at the fire. He placed his flute to his lips, took a deep breath, and improvised a tune to echo the mood of the rain." Marilyn
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
-
Hi Marilyn,
Wow! Thank you so much for the six star rating. Thanks for mentioning the closing lines. I changed them several times. It is good to know they worked.
Debi
-
You're welcome. Great story. Clear and nicely written. :)
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Excellent chapter, Debi.
-You delve into the character of
Redd-Leif and show us a
different aspect to his character.
-He obviously cares about Piper's
mother and his brother.
-His story is fascinating as he tells
it to Piper.
-I have had my doubts about him
for a while, but he seems sincere
in this chapter.
-I like Sheba's comment to Piper
at the end, too.
-I didn't know if the comma was needed here:
"Blew-Gale, died in my arms."
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
|
-Excellent chapter, Debi.
-You delve into the character of
Redd-Leif and show us a
different aspect to his character.
-He obviously cares about Piper's
mother and his brother.
-His story is fascinating as he tells
it to Piper.
-I have had my doubts about him
for a while, but he seems sincere
in this chapter.
-I like Sheba's comment to Piper
at the end, too.
-I didn't know if the comma was needed here:
"Blew-Gale, died in my arms."
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
-
Hi Pam. Thank you so much for the six stars! I appreciate the analysis and your continued encouragement. I wondered about that comma too. I'll have to get out the grammar book and confirm.
-
You are very welcome and deserving, Debi. I liked this chapter very much. From what I see, you are separating the subject from the verb. Let me know what you find.
Comment from rspoet
You tell a story very well (as does Redd-Leif)
This explains Piper's origin and why he was not with his family
It seems to answer the question of how he came to be separated from his parents
and the story of his grandfather, Grand Master Raymond Acker
but there is much to look forward to,
including meeting his mother, and Rupert's whereabouts
and his adopted parents
Redd-Leif appears to be emerging as "one of the good guys"
which brings into question Burkehart's role
As Piper turns to his flute for solace.
Very well done, an excellent chapter
RS
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
|
You tell a story very well (as does Redd-Leif)
This explains Piper's origin and why he was not with his family
It seems to answer the question of how he came to be separated from his parents
and the story of his grandfather, Grand Master Raymond Acker
but there is much to look forward to,
including meeting his mother, and Rupert's whereabouts
and his adopted parents
Redd-Leif appears to be emerging as "one of the good guys"
which brings into question Burkehart's role
As Piper turns to his flute for solace.
Very well done, an excellent chapter
RS
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
-
Hi RS. Thank you for the kind comments about the storytelling. I love that you can keep the characters straight, especially since I go so long between postings. I hope to get up to one a week, but life ...
Thank you so much for the six stars and your continued support.
Comment from F. Wehr3
Great job! I enjoyed the story within a story. I'm guessing Raymond never wanted to give up the baby. It's been so long since I read the first part of this book, but I remember Piper's grandfather died? Was that Raymond?
but when he looked up Piper was watching him --suggest comma after up.
cross-bow,--crossbow
so I reach for him. --reached?
the best to you,
Russell
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
|
Great job! I enjoyed the story within a story. I'm guessing Raymond never wanted to give up the baby. It's been so long since I read the first part of this book, but I remember Piper's grandfather died? Was that Raymond?
but when he looked up Piper was watching him --suggest comma after up.
cross-bow,--crossbow
so I reach for him. --reached?
the best to you,
Russell
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
-
Hi Russell,
Thank you for the shiny six star rating. You are correct that Raymond is Piper's grandfather and the one who died at the beginning of the story.
Thanks for catching the SPAG.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
So Piper's mother was an elf? Who/what was his father? A human?He is learning a lot about his past from Redd-eif the Fae. This is an interesting story about an enchanted world we can only imagine. You do a good job dear. Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
|
So Piper's mother was an elf? Who/what was his father? A human?He is learning a lot about his past from Redd-eif the Fae. This is an interesting story about an enchanted world we can only imagine. You do a good job dear. Well done.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for your continued support and the encouraging review, Nancy. It is much appreciated.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
wow what an exciting and charming story. I love the different range of supernatural beings you have employed for your cast of characters. The flow and pace was superb, the writing pacy and yet relaxed and enjoyable. I look forward to reading more from you this is a heck of a story I have been missing out :) Kindest regards Meia x
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
|
wow what an exciting and charming story. I love the different range of supernatural beings you have employed for your cast of characters. The flow and pace was superb, the writing pacy and yet relaxed and enjoyable. I look forward to reading more from you this is a heck of a story I have been missing out :) Kindest regards Meia x
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
-
Hi Meia,
Thank you for the kind words about the story and the characters. I appreciate the comments about the pacing.
Comment from Rasmine
Okay, I really like this writing. I think I need to fan you, so I don't miss any more. :)
I found a comma error, I think, research it: A man was about to shoot his cross-bow (comma) so I reach (reached) for him.
TC
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
|
Okay, I really like this writing. I think I need to fan you, so I don't miss any more. :)
I found a comma error, I think, research it: A man was about to shoot his cross-bow (comma) so I reach (reached) for him.
TC
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for the kind words and for the grammar advice. I appreciate the help and the encouragement.
Comment from apky
You write with a great eye for details and convey the details well. In the passage below, for example, you make the reader feel with Redd-Leif, his emotions carry through about what he is relating and one can see the captivated listeners.
Well done.
Redd-Leif's shoulders drooped and he put his face in his hands. When he looked up, he stared into the fire. "Melodica was barely conscious, but let out a plaintive, "No, no, no, my baby!' as I ran out of the cottage with her in my arms." Redd-Leif fell silent. When he spoke again, his voice was distant, as if he were speaking only to himself. "I can still hear the anguish in her voice." He shuddered. Then Redd-Leif rose, went to the wood pile and grabbed his cloak. He walked to the mouth of the cave, pausing with his back to the others. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Nature calls." Then he disappeared into the storm.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
|
You write with a great eye for details and convey the details well. In the passage below, for example, you make the reader feel with Redd-Leif, his emotions carry through about what he is relating and one can see the captivated listeners.
Well done.
Redd-Leif's shoulders drooped and he put his face in his hands. When he looked up, he stared into the fire. "Melodica was barely conscious, but let out a plaintive, "No, no, no, my baby!' as I ran out of the cottage with her in my arms." Redd-Leif fell silent. When he spoke again, his voice was distant, as if he were speaking only to himself. "I can still hear the anguish in her voice." He shuddered. Then Redd-Leif rose, went to the wood pile and grabbed his cloak. He walked to the mouth of the cave, pausing with his back to the others. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Nature calls." Then he disappeared into the storm.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for continuing to follow the story and for the kind comments about the writing. I appreciate the encouragement.