Comment from --Turtle.

Excellent

Hey, Craig,

Enjoyed this poem too,

I'm glad you gave the heads up on the alternate phasing for the word halves. It made me think of ambulance... I was once caught off guard by hearing someone pronouncing it amb-a-lambs.


please chant this incantation as you starve.

(I think my brain is only working in halves right now, so forgive my hard to follow flow of thought. )

What I liked about this poem... the first line did a great job of setting the tone of one of those shady 'trying to sell you something' traveling carny. The second set has the feel of waving one's hands over issues and marginalizing each one (in a way that does the opposite)

At the end of the poem, I wondered... because halves has multiple pronunciations... if you start with the

starves...
the halves will be more likely to fall into place as sounding as harves.

I think this... because i read a book to my daughter I trip over ... where the writer rhymed look with spook.

And because he starts with look.... ... the word spook gets pushed into sounding like spuhk. instead of s-poo-k

But, it might have been intended that spook be rhymed with luke (look)
That the look sounds like luke...

but look, hook... shook, book.
spook, fluke, luke, puke...

I'm babbling, got sidetracked... point is, I wondered if I might have read halves as intended, naturally, if starves set the boundary of sounds by being read first... Because, of the kids book... where when I read it, I end up reading spook as spuhck.

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2018

I think you're probably right there. Having "starves" first would indicate the way "halves" should go. Thanks so much for the excellent review, Turtle :) Craig

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Exceptional

Great rhyming Craig (oops) but that comes from a fellow Aussie who is trying to work out how else you would say halves, except how we all do. Anyway to get to the matter in hand, agree wholeheartedly with this one, I think the Pollies have lost the plot and intend sending the rest of us to the poor house, quickly.Great read, and going well with your project.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018

Thanks so much for the lovely stars and the even lovelier comments, Valda. I know - how else *could* it be said? Outgrageous! I really appreciate the encouragement :) Cheers, Craig

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Wow, now that's poetic blasting, and I love it. The alliteration in Wall Street wizards will is very clever too, and unforced.

However, I'm not sure the last line of the final couplet works with the rest of this dazzling gem because the end rhyme isn't a great rhyme (at least as far as I pronounce it - I'm Canadian - not sure if that makes any difference).

Wonderful word choices, like "conjure", make something intangible, tangible - for my imagination, anyhow (if that's not TOO confusing...Hahahaha!)

I loved it, all but what I mentioned... And I'm truthfully at a loss for a suggestion...

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

Hi Dawn,

Thanks for a great review. A number of people have mentioned the last end-rhyme, including a couple of other Canadians :) I can only offer in my defence that in these parts, unless you come from an extremely upper-crust background, "halve" is actually pronounced "harve" - which makes it a proper rhyme. I don't mind being picked up on it, just explaining why, to me, it went unnoticed. Much appreciated - Craig

reply by Dawn Munro on 16-Jan-2018

Hmm, I thought it might be something like that - so I have another suggestion for your consideration - add that explanation to the notes...?

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

That sounds like an excellent idea - will do :)

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very interesting poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your words note. It almost made me think of the way the Bible describes when the antichrist comes to the earth. Very well done. Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

Some unkind folk might suggest that could well be the case, Teri ;-) Thanks for a lovely review - Craig

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

For ages there have always been the ones to take from the pockets of the others and this one tells us they are still there. Very well done but I got way-layed in the last two lines with the rhyme, but I try to keep in mind the pronouncing of some words in different parts of the world

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

They're a match to my ears :)

Regional differences definitely account for a lot of disagreements about end-rhymes.

Thanks for reviewing - Craig

Comment from N.K. Wagner

Excellent

A great idea to inspire interesting poetry. This political commentary is presented in a nicely constructed sonnet. I like the half-rhyme at the end. It's just enough off to compliment the jangling picture of modern life you've created. :) Nancy

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

I tend to forget that a lot of things that rhyme exactly to my ears don't to people from other parts. For example, salt/colt is a perfect match as I say the words,, but to many people, it's not. When I think of it, I try to pick words where that problem doesn't happen - but I don't always remember, and sometimes I'm just not sure. Thanks for the kind words :) Craig

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

I have never heard of that word, but you bring it to reality for me. Our Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau, and our Premier of Alberta, Rachel Notley, would love to hear us chanting this poem while we waste away. Our Rachel Notley Premier is affectionately known as the Sherrif of Notleyham. "Don't cut off their heads, we must tax them to death!"

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

Nobody likes to pay taxes, and I think worldwide, wastage and mismanagement by governments of all persuasions means people are "taxed to death", as you say. But the thing I find more obscene than anything is when the top few percent with more money than they could possibly know what to do with are constantly receiving tax cuts and government handouts, while those struggling to survive fund them. That is evil, in my opinion. Cheers, Craig

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

You see these people on the market stalls on clacton market on a Saturday morning! Selling rubbish to old ladies after they have just collected their pension from the post office! Great rhymes and flow and full of fun too! Love Dolly x

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

Thanks so much, Dolly. Very much appreciated :) Craig

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi, Craig;
Your words are startling but true. We are living in uncertain times. I think there is a bubble waiting to burst when the Dow comes tumbling down,

Thank you for sharing this new word with us,

~patty~

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 Comment Written 16-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

Thanks very much for the kind comments, Patty. Scary times. Craig

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written Sonnet about the bottle-conjuror. We all love someone that can do magic tricks, we know most of it is just to trick the mind or the eyes but there are some special skills involved on the side of the trickster as well to do it perfectly.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

Thanks Sandra, for the kind review. I love magic tricks too. Cheers, Craig