Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

I would think Leander would be too tired to do anything after swimming across to his love. But some would do anything for love. It is sad that she grief led her to suicide. But it often does in romantic myths or plays. I have always love mythology.

This poem has smooth meter and follows the form well

Congrats on placing second in the contest.

Keep writng

Joan

 Comment Written 11-May-2018

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reply by the author on 11-May-2018

Thanks for the kind remarks. It seems those ancient folk weren't terribly bright at times. Cheers, Craig

reply by dragonpoet on 11-May-2018

My pleasure. You are most definitely right about that.
Hve a great weekend.
Joan

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Great Loop Poem Craig, and quite a long one considering you're doing a new word a day. You told your tale well and all your loop words worked great. Good job,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 09-May-2018

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reply by the author on 09-May-2018

Thanks very much, Valda. It did end up getting a bit long, but I was happy with it. Much appreciated :) Craig

reply by Pearl Edwards on 09-May-2018

It wasn't too long, I was impressed.

Comment from Sugarray77

Excellent

Well done on this epic piece for the Loop Poetry contest. You did a great job with your choice of words, theme, and artwork. Congratulations on the second place finish!

 Comment Written 08-May-2018

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reply by the author on 08-May-2018

Thank you, Sugarray, for the very kind words. Congratulations to you as well, on your lovely piece, with its vivid, delightful images. Craig

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

There's some strange vibe your words convey, apparently, no matter what you write. I find myself wanting to review with a poem almost every time. *grin* I guess that must be the thing we call inspiration, huh?

Yes, a wonderful story, told often, but never more appealingly; for the life of me, I couldn't tell you which poet's work inspired my love of romance with this same tragic tale, but it was this that caused me to fall in love with poetry.

Well done, bard.

 Comment Written 04-May-2018

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reply by the author on 04-May-2018

Thanks very much for the lovely comments, Dawn. It is a rather sad tale. I believe Hollywood was considering making a movie based on it, but Steven Spielberg said, "We don't need another Hero". Or maybe it was Tina Turner.

[groan]

Have a great day!

Craig

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Exceptional

A tragic ending for both ... star-crossed lovers whose love led to their ultimate demise. This is a great entry for the Loop contest, Craig! Your poem tells an entertaining story (albeit a sad one). I especially love your concluding stanza.

Very, very nice, and I love that you taught me a new word for swimming across something ... "transnate" ... I'll remember (and use) this word. Excellent artwork selection to accompany your poem!

Good luck in the contest with this great entry! ~~ Connie

 Comment Written 03-May-2018

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reply by the author on 03-May-2018

Thank you so much for the wonderful comments, Connie. They really do mean a great deal to me. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. I must remember next time I swim the English Channel, or the Bass Strait, to tell everyone I'm going to transnate :) Cheers, Craig

reply by bichonfrisegirl on 03-May-2018

Haha ... expect some strange looks! :)

Comment from --Turtle.

Excellent

I think you did a solid job utilizing it to tell the story, but I had a heck of a time following along... probably because I'm less familiar with the story itself. I'm going to go look it up. And I think I might be sensitive to echos and loops of the form itselft.

Didn't see anything to pinpoint to change, though.

What I gathered from reading... Hero was a girl, Leander a boy, Leander had a girlfriend, but was seeking to meet Hero, but he drowned Or she thought he drowned, and then she jumped to her death.

Then I went and looked up the old tale, and I see where I got turned around. His lover's flame. (But it was a flame in Hero's control... her lamp. She's his lover. The flame wasn't in him, it was how he found his way.)

 Comment Written 03-May-2018

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reply by the author on 03-May-2018

Hi Turtle,

This is the first loop poem I've ever written. I don't see myself making a regular thing of it, but it's fun to try something different.

I can see the flame thing could be a bit confusing. Initially it refers to a real, physical flame - the torch that Hero lit so Leander could see where to go. But then I use it in a metaphorical sense of someone dying being analogous to their flame going out. Add the fact that some have said they were confused by Hero being the girl rather than the boy (stereotyping is hard to escape), and overall, it's probably pretty confusing.

But I had fun with it. It's quite a challenge to get the sentence endings/beginnings to match up AND still have a rhyme scheme. I think in this form, ABAB would actually be easier than ABCB.

Anyway, thanks for persevering, and thanks for your usual thoughtful, kind and diligent review.

Craig

Comment from ciliverde

Exceptional

This is fabulous, Craig! It's an amazing tale, of course, and the loop poetry form is perfect for telling the old, old story - the repetition gives it a flavor of being sung as you read through it. You've really done a beautiful job, with poetic word usage such as this "Long days gave way to winter chills, and sorrow filled the air" - it gives me the chills too!
Carol

 Comment Written 02-May-2018

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reply by the author on 02-May-2018

Thank you so much for the wonderful encouragement, Carol. I really appreciate the extra stars as well, and I'm glad you enjoyed the poem :) Craig

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

Hi Craig -

Were you inspired by Christopher Marlowe? https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44674/hero-and-leander

The painting looks like a classic, should I know the artist? It strikes me when I hear it, as Hero is such an odd name for a female. So much so that I got lost in this passage of yours, because in the last line you referred to his (and I was thinking it should be her lover's flame that was doused by the sea)

when mid-transnate, a storm sprang up, winds doused his lover's flame (thanks for the introduction to a new word!)

Yours loops are all in their proper places. Good luck in the contest! :)

Kim

 Comment Written 02-May-2018

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reply by the author on 02-May-2018

Hi Kim,

I've seen Christopher Marlowe's poem - it's a wee bit longer than mine, and no, I was inspired by my little book, which relates how Lord Byron actually swam across the Dardanelles (Hellespont), as a re-enactment of Leander's legend.

Yes, the names are confusing - unfortunately, not much I can do about that! I'll add an author note, in case it helps.

The painting is by William Etty (1787-1849).

Many thanks for sharing your thoughts, and for the good wishes.

Craig

Comment from Gloria ....

Exceptional

Ah, a tale of star-crossed lovers. One can never get enough of those as long as they stay in the realm of fiction.

A very nicely crafted loop poem, Craig, as each end word thrusts the plot forward in the next line.

Great job with this and best wishes to you in the contest.

Gloria

 Comment Written 02-May-2018

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reply by the author on 02-May-2018

Thank you for the lovely comments and shiny stars, Gloria. Most appreciated. Craig

Comment from Kerry Wanstall

Excellent

This is such a beautifully crafted poem. The rhyme and rhythm carry the reader effortlessly through the verses. The feelings of love and loss so eloquently expressed evoke empathy in the reader. This poem must be a very strong contender for a prize in the Loop Poetry competition.

 Comment Written 02-May-2018

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reply by the author on 02-May-2018

Thank you for the wonderful comments, Kerry. I'm most grateful. Craig

reply by Kerry Wanstall on 02-May-2018

You are very welcome. Best of luck in the competition.