Comment from --Turtle.

Excellent

Hey, Craig...

I really enjoyed this poem, loads of strong imagery, and the tone of visiting places, yet being home still winning over the 'grass is always greener' mentality.

Some people are never happy, and figure to find transmarine happiness. Some are lucky to be born where they want to be.

This poem is a pleasing visual and cultural romp through a bunch of places, with the age old come back to ... there's no place like home.

Only one verse section that I paused on:

But** though* of travel I have seen
far more than my fair share;
there's no where else of which I'd say
I'd rather I lived there.

Though* there's no spot on Earth I've been

The 'But though of travel I have seen'
was the only line that read hard to me, and it weakened the second 'though' in the next verse... called attention to it, when that 'though' reads very nicely.

Also there's several but's later that read strong, so this 'but though' ... it was the only set of the poem I kept looking at.

I wondered if this might make sense?
In all my travels, I have seen
far more than my fair share

 Comment Written 24-May-2018

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reply by the author on 24-May-2018

Hi Turtle - many thanks for the great suggestion. I agree with you about that line, and also, the two lines you have offered do sound better. I have a difficulty in that, if I don't use "though" or "but" or something similar in the first line, I need to begin with it in the third line to make sense, and that extra word makes the meter difficult. I'm wondering if you think this would be better:

While in my travels I have seen
far more than my fair share;
there's no where else of which I'd say
I'd rather I lived there.

Or not?

Thanks for another fine and most helpful review - Craig

reply by --Turtle. on 25-May-2018

I like the change... I think the While in my travels reads better than the but though of travel, gives the sense of although traveling has granted lots of sights feel, as well as a secondary interpretation of while traveling... I have seen sights. Either interpretation works well without a hiccup in the flow.

reply by the author on 25-May-2018

Thanks again, Turtle :)

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

"Instead of lush fields..." The emphasis is on the wrong syllable, causing a stumble in meter. The meter works with "fields lush", but then the syntax is wrong. But you don't need me to come up with something - not with YOUR skill!

"...and each has (its) own pull..." (grammar - each is singular)

"But I won't swap my star-filled skies for postcard fields of green..." *sigh*

 Comment Written 23-May-2018

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reply by the author on 23-May-2018

Thanks for the great catches there. I went for "meadows", I actually think I like that better. Much appreciated :) Craig

reply by Dawn Munro on 23-May-2018

Oooooooooh! I LOVE meadow. :)) You're very welcome, Craig.

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Fantastic...what would the baby be if transmarine and aquamarine got together? Turq-marine...a kind of turquoise color. Sorry my mind went there.
But I loved your poem. I'm a transplant...that makes me a green color...well I do have a green card. I live 10,000 miles from my home. I sure do miss it.
God bless

 Comment Written 22-May-2018

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reply by the author on 22-May-2018

Thanks for reviewing, Jenny. I guess there must be some things about the States that agree with you, otherwise you'd still be in the Shaky Isles :) Funny, I've visited the States, but not New Zealand, and it's so much closer. I hope to fix that oversight one day. Cheers, Craig

Comment from closetpoetjester

Exceptional

What an awesome poem Craig and whilst the feeling emoted could be speaking of a home anywhere I got the feeling you were appreciating your little bit of earth Down Under.
Marvellous job with your travel itinary pointing out some wonderful sites and sounds throughout the world but of course there is NO place like home no matter where it is.
That is what I liked MOST about your poem.
Great stuff. I'm OFF to fan you...and I look forward to reading more impeccable rhyme and more vivid pictures unfolding in front of my eyes!
Well done anyway
Sixer for your awesome poem
Cheers P

 Comment Written 22-May-2018

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reply by the author on 22-May-2018

Thanks so much for the delightful rating, the wonderful comments, and for fanning me (are there grapes to go with that? lol). I really appreciate that you enjoyed the poem. Please expect a reciprocal fan notice. I have enjoyed a number of things I've seen from you, but lately I seldom venture off my "usual suspects" list when reviewing, due to lack to time. This should take care of that :) Cheers, Craig

Comment from jenintorre

Exceptional

I love this poem. My sentiments entirely. As usual your writing is so clear and concise and tells a good tale with excellent rhyme and flow. Best wishes. Jen.

 Comment Written 22-May-2018

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reply by the author on 22-May-2018

Thank you so much for the very kind comments and generous rating, Jen. Both are much appreciated. Craig

Comment from Apostle Janos

Excellent

Our homeland is just that, home, and its a feeling one cannot dispense with, even if one sees new, beautiful places. I think your poem is exactly right, especially if one only visits other places short term and doesnt stay.long. Thanks for sharing, and teaching me the word transmarine!

 Comment Written 21-May-2018

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reply by the author on 22-May-2018

Thank you for the very kind comments. I think you're right that it can take a while to get a proper feel for a place. Cheers, Craig

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Wow! What a traveler you've been! I would have to agree with you, though I've called several places home. It's the loved ones who make a place a home. Enjoyed the smooth meter and rhymes of these quatrains with a message we can all relate to.

 Comment Written 21-May-2018

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reply by the author on 21-May-2018

Thanks very much, Helen. Much appreciated - Craig

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Actually that photo looks pretty cool to me. Horse-riding country but then you have to watch out for the rattlers. Tower Air sent me for a little Google, as it's not an airline I'm familiar with. So this sounds pretty authentic then.

Excellent poem, Craig and in fine metre and rhyme and pity we've got some unfair and ill-informed reviewers on site again.

It happens like clockwork.

Great job.

Gloria

 Comment Written 21-May-2018

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reply by the author on 21-May-2018

No rattlers in the Simpson, Gloria. Just taipans, death-adders and tiger snakes mostly lol

Tower Air was a budget operation. The price of their LAX-JFK ticket was less than a quarter of the next cheapest (probably United). At that price, I thought I'd be travelling strapped to the wing. But their friendliness and efficiency was the equal of any, in my experience, though we didn't get the steamy hot towels from memory. For a few hundred bucks, I could do without :)

I agree with the last comment, it's really getting tiresome.

Cheers,
Craig

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written traveling poem, mentioning all the best things of each place, but the best of all is our homeland where we were born and raised, not other place can compare.

 Comment Written 21-May-2018

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reply by the author on 21-May-2018

Very true, Sandra. Thanks for the lovely comments. Craig

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Thanks for the travelogue my friend, I think we all agree there's no place like home. Have you really traveled this much? I have always been quite happy here in the USA. I
really wouldn't want to live anywhere else. You did a splendid job on the poem. I enjoyed it. Nancy.

 Comment Written 21-May-2018

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reply by the author on 21-May-2018

In my younger days, I traveled a lot. These days, I'm happy to mostly not stray too far from home. Thanks for the kind review, Nancy. Craig