Haiku( Fog)
Haiku Poetry Contest15 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Superb haiku! You give me the seasonal reference through mentioning November. And the first two lines describe the scene beautifully with the lines flowing into each other to complete one thought. Then the last line has that clear satori feeling - of the trees being "winter sentinels" watching like guards throughout the next season.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Superb haiku! You give me the seasonal reference through mentioning November. And the first two lines describe the scene beautifully with the lines flowing into each other to complete one thought. Then the last line has that clear satori feeling - of the trees being "winter sentinels" watching like guards throughout the next season.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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And again thanks for those bright stars !zanya
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your poem, zanya. The picture is great. However, your words paint the same picture for readers if one had not been included. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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I enjoyed your poem, zanya. The picture is great. However, your words paint the same picture for readers if one had not been included. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Thanks for those positive words zanya
Comment from Ulla
Hi Zanya, this is a great haiku with a wonderful imagery. The two first lines are grammatically connected and the satori line is very strong. The only thing is that the title should read haiku(bare trees appear like). I really liked your poem. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Hi Zanya, this is a great haiku with a wonderful imagery. The two first lines are grammatically connected and the satori line is very strong. The only thing is that the title should read haiku(bare trees appear like). I really liked your poem. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Ulla -great review zanya
Comment from karenina
Okay, call me traditional and old fashioned...but in a world where the old rules of a 5-7-5 count haiku are morphed into, well, you know...."different" counts being acceptable...I STILL sit up and pay attention when the "Basho" rule is honored and the image is superbly painted in words!
Karenina
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Okay, call me traditional and old fashioned...but in a world where the old rules of a 5-7-5 count haiku are morphed into, well, you know...."different" counts being acceptable...I STILL sit up and pay attention when the "Basho" rule is honored and the image is superbly painted in words!
Karenina
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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I like that 'the "Basho" rule -thanks for those wonderful comments zanya
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Thank YOU! :)
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, Fog, presented as a 5-7-5, presents a winter gauntlet which waits for the weary world traveler to leave the hustle and bustle and wander into the mist. Nice.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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This haiku, Fog, presented as a 5-7-5, presents a winter gauntlet which waits for the weary world traveler to leave the hustle and bustle and wander into the mist. Nice.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Thanks for reading zanya
Comment from dragonpoet
Nicely chosen words to match the artwork or vice versa. I like the metaphor and imagery in the short poem. Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Nicely chosen words to match the artwork or vice versa. I like the metaphor and imagery in the short poem. Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Great review zanya
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You're welcome, Zanya
Joan
Comment from Tia Attwood
Hi
This is an excellent little Haiku poem. Perfect 5'7'5 syllable count across all lines. perfect imagery projected through your words and they look like they are looking at me.
Great job and Good Luck.
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Hi
This is an excellent little Haiku poem. Perfect 5'7'5 syllable count across all lines. perfect imagery projected through your words and they look like they are looking at me.
Great job and Good Luck.
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Great review -thanks for reading zanya
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku about the winter fog that makes the trees look even more bare where they stand in a straight row in the foggy air. A great photo to complement your poem.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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A very well-written haiku about the winter fog that makes the trees look even more bare where they stand in a straight row in the foggy air. A great photo to complement your poem.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Thanks for a great review zanya
Comment from Kelly Grim
This is just gorgeous! Love your word choice -- spectres and winter sentinels -- and love the imagery you've created! A wonderful 17 syllables here! The accompanying pic is perfect! I've had such an enjoyable experience reading this and looking at this, I have to give it six stars! Good luck in the Haiku contest!!!
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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This is just gorgeous! Love your word choice -- spectres and winter sentinels -- and love the imagery you've created! A wonderful 17 syllables here! The accompanying pic is perfect! I've had such an enjoyable experience reading this and looking at this, I have to give it six stars! Good luck in the Haiku contest!!!
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Love this review and 6 stars -thanks for those encouraging comments zanya
Comment from Impromptu Scribe
A good 5-7-5 example. Yes, there is something very ghost-like about leafless trees in the mist. Heavy but also fluid at the same time. A great accompanying image that brings to life row upon row of 'winter sentinels' standing guard. Good luck in the contest. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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A good 5-7-5 example. Yes, there is something very ghost-like about leafless trees in the mist. Heavy but also fluid at the same time. A great accompanying image that brings to life row upon row of 'winter sentinels' standing guard. Good luck in the contest. Best wishes.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Superb review zanya
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You are welcome :) Best wishes