The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "A Lightbulb Moment"A Novel
30 total reviews
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Hi Tony,
Even after a break from reading your novel it was a seamless transition back into the story.
Another chapter of intrigue and mystery peppered with the mundane of daily life. Quite an enjoyable mix.
Blessings
Shirley
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
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Hi Tony,
Even after a break from reading your novel it was a seamless transition back into the story.
Another chapter of intrigue and mystery peppered with the mundane of daily life. Quite an enjoyable mix.
Blessings
Shirley
Comment Written 16-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
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Thanks again, Shirley. Here?s wishing you a very happy Christmas and may your dreams for 2019 come true!
Comment from Adri7enne
Looks like I missed this one so it got read out of order. Maybe Jeanne Durant is the culprit. Nevertheless, Helen and Charles continue to pursue their mystery abductors and are now running for the border. Lol! Give me a break, Tony. I'm struggling to catch up.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Looks like I missed this one so it got read out of order. Maybe Jeanne Durant is the culprit. Nevertheless, Helen and Charles continue to pursue their mystery abductors and are now running for the border. Lol! Give me a break, Tony. I'm struggling to catch up.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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It's easy to fall behind on this site. You only have to be away for a few days and things have moved on. Nonetheless, it is important to be away for a few days! FanStory is a tool, not an obsession. I keep having to remind myself of that! LOL
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
Another excellent chapter as the story twists and turns
like a mountain descent in the Tour de France
I didn't think the mafia would be so interested in her journal,
yet they are interested enough to run into Jeanne with a car?
and chase the two around France and then torture Mme Durand.
I guess Charles will have to read that journal with the eyes of Miss Marple
And we must not forget Helen's strange behavior in the beginning of the story
or the letter.
A good mystery. I hope the author knows how it will all work out. lol
Well done
Robert
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Hello Tony,
Another excellent chapter as the story twists and turns
like a mountain descent in the Tour de France
I didn't think the mafia would be so interested in her journal,
yet they are interested enough to run into Jeanne with a car?
and chase the two around France and then torture Mme Durand.
I guess Charles will have to read that journal with the eyes of Miss Marple
And we must not forget Helen's strange behavior in the beginning of the story
or the letter.
A good mystery. I hope the author knows how it will all work out. lol
Well done
Robert
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Another sixer - much appreciated! I?ve got a fair idea of where I?m going with this, but these characters have a bit of a mind of their own. I hope they don?t knock me off my bicycle.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A very good chapter, Tony, and
an apt title, as well.
-I like the bit with the apple;
Charles uses some creativity there.
-In fact, he is doing a better job of being
more aware of what is going on.
-The Batman/Robin discussion
adds a bit of humor to the story.
-It seems Charles does not
particularly care for Jeanne.
-In fact, he has a very good
idea at the end of the chapter,
and if Jeanne's mysterious
disappearance is any indicator,
she could very well be the one
after the diary because she
has something to hide.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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-A very good chapter, Tony, and
an apt title, as well.
-I like the bit with the apple;
Charles uses some creativity there.
-In fact, he is doing a better job of being
more aware of what is going on.
-The Batman/Robin discussion
adds a bit of humor to the story.
-It seems Charles does not
particularly care for Jeanne.
-In fact, he has a very good
idea at the end of the chapter,
and if Jeanne's mysterious
disappearance is any indicator,
she could very well be the one
after the diary because she
has something to hide.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Very many thanks for the extra star, Pam. You must be reading my mind, as far as Jeanne is concerned! All the best, Tony
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Tony. I think Charles may have hinted at Jeanne's interest in the diary first.
Comment from kiwijenny
This is so exciting. I'd lose the haiku reference though. Sometimes less is more.
And I love the Batman and Robin banter.
This is well penned and certainly gives us a lot to consider.
Great job as you left me wanting more.
God bless
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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This is so exciting. I'd lose the haiku reference though. Sometimes less is more.
And I love the Batman and Robin banter.
This is well penned and certainly gives us a lot to consider.
Great job as you left me wanting more.
God bless
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Jenny. Yes, I think you are right about the haiku reference. I was a bit doubtful about it, too, on re-reading. It's good to hear another opinion. All the best, Tony
Comment from etreefrog
This chapter was my introduction to Charles, Helen and Jeanne. It displays some spunky interplay between Charles and Helen in an apparently fraught situation. I have to take it on faith that their really pretty casual approach to danger is consistent with their behavior elsewhere. It makes it difficult to develop a sense of threat or dread. I enjoyed the reparté.
Another thought that is hard to quantify, the following might be worth mentioning: The word choice (determining tone, to some extent) seems slightly different between the chapter segment from #22 to this #23. Here are a few samples from #22: Charles says a little stiffly: "It sounds as though that journal of yours could be ð??? an important document.ð???" Jeanne says somewhat professorily: "the Mafia would go to any lengths to ð???suppressð???." Helen says, as though at tea: "ð???You can be certain of thatð???." (I presume you know, but I want to reiterate, that this is all my opinion!)
In #23, "Jeanne didn't take long to pack a few things." Pretty casual, by comparison. Charles gunned the engine, the car surged (instead of accelerated quickly), we had already wasted too much time, Charles says 'the first thing I set eyes on.etc. Can you feel the difference? There are stiffer (different background experiences in characters' backstories might produce what I am calling"stiffer' deliveries and word choice) ways to say these bits from the opening of #23, and there are more casual (again, different formative backgrounds, perhaps) ways to communicate the chosen passages from Chapter Twenty-Two, as illustrated by the selected examples (see what I just did myself?).
I hope that makes sense. I think it must be part of the challenge of writing in installments.
I find your narrative style smooth and interesting and it makes me want to go to your profile and catch myself up to your characters. I will be looking for installments as they come out. Thanks for a fun read!
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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This chapter was my introduction to Charles, Helen and Jeanne. It displays some spunky interplay between Charles and Helen in an apparently fraught situation. I have to take it on faith that their really pretty casual approach to danger is consistent with their behavior elsewhere. It makes it difficult to develop a sense of threat or dread. I enjoyed the reparté.
Another thought that is hard to quantify, the following might be worth mentioning: The word choice (determining tone, to some extent) seems slightly different between the chapter segment from #22 to this #23. Here are a few samples from #22: Charles says a little stiffly: "It sounds as though that journal of yours could be ð??? an important document.ð???" Jeanne says somewhat professorily: "the Mafia would go to any lengths to ð???suppressð???." Helen says, as though at tea: "ð???You can be certain of thatð???." (I presume you know, but I want to reiterate, that this is all my opinion!)
In #23, "Jeanne didn't take long to pack a few things." Pretty casual, by comparison. Charles gunned the engine, the car surged (instead of accelerated quickly), we had already wasted too much time, Charles says 'the first thing I set eyes on.etc. Can you feel the difference? There are stiffer (different background experiences in characters' backstories might produce what I am calling"stiffer' deliveries and word choice) ways to say these bits from the opening of #23, and there are more casual (again, different formative backgrounds, perhaps) ways to communicate the chosen passages from Chapter Twenty-Two, as illustrated by the selected examples (see what I just did myself?).
I hope that makes sense. I think it must be part of the challenge of writing in installments.
I find your narrative style smooth and interesting and it makes me want to go to your profile and catch myself up to your characters. I will be looking for installments as they come out. Thanks for a fun read!
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Very useful comments, etreefrog. I will need to go back through the whole story eventually, to make sure that the characterisation is consistent and to regroup some of the chapters. As you say, there are some challenges when writing in fairly even length instalments. I certainly agree with your comments here about these two chapters, and will make a particular note of them. The off-hand language and repartee between Helen and Charles is within their characterisation. However, it makes the development of any real tension in these 'cops and robbers' sequences nigh on impossible!
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I should have mentioned, and meant to, that my name is Erik. Glad you found something useful in my comments.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Cheeky - more implied meaning than a well-constructed haiku. Great chapter Tony, there seems to be much more of Madame Durand than we so far know. This story is moving along well, plenty of mystery and questions to keep us guessing.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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Cheeky - more implied meaning than a well-constructed haiku. Great chapter Tony, there seems to be much more of Madame Durand than we so far know. This story is moving along well, plenty of mystery and questions to keep us guessing.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 03-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Valda. As you say, the story seems to be gathering impetus now, and there seems to be more to Mme Durand than meets the eye. I appreciate your continued interest in this tale. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from RGstar
Tony the more I read, the more this comes into its own, in the way of; read as if familiar, or happy in the knowledge that I am reading from an excellent book of my liking. Always a good sign when one can relax and not think whether or not it is a pout reviewing.
I nice relaxed chapter which emphasises more the character , both in thought and mannerisms
Than actual pace of the narrative, though a part.
I can feel you have got to a more relaxed zone with this. The authority when commanding a good work is always evident to a good reader.
Ill be following when can, Tony.
Bravo.
Best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Tony the more I read, the more this comes into its own, in the way of; read as if familiar, or happy in the knowledge that I am reading from an excellent book of my liking. Always a good sign when one can relax and not think whether or not it is a pout reviewing.
I nice relaxed chapter which emphasises more the character , both in thought and mannerisms
Than actual pace of the narrative, though a part.
I can feel you have got to a more relaxed zone with this. The authority when commanding a good work is always evident to a good reader.
Ill be following when can, Tony.
Bravo.
Best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 02-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Many thanks for this review, Roy. I?m beginning to feel the writing flow more naturally as I get further into the story and find your comment about that most affirming. All the best, Tony
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I hope she's not outside the door with a gun! I agree with Charles and Helen, there is something suspicious about Madame Jeanne Durand, and there is certainly something she's not telling them. The plot thickens! Another exciting part, Tony, I wish we had enough sixes to award each part. Well done, my friend! :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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I hope she's not outside the door with a gun! I agree with Charles and Helen, there is something suspicious about Madame Jeanne Durand, and there is certainly something she's not telling them. The plot thickens! Another exciting part, Tony, I wish we had enough sixes to award each part. Well done, my friend! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 02-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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Glad I'm still piquing your interest, Sandra. There is certainly more to Jeanne Durand than meets the eye. I share Charles's sixth sense about this!
I'm looking forward to reading the next instalment of yours before long.
Best wishes, Tony
Comment from apky
Your plot keeps on - sorry about tossing in another cliché - thickening. You have a wonderful way of throwing obstacles at your protagonists that I admire as perfect craftsmanship. Maybe you worked at it, but in the writing it comes across very naturally.
This should be a six, but I have none left.
Excellent, keep it up, Tony.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Your plot keeps on - sorry about tossing in another cliché - thickening. You have a wonderful way of throwing obstacles at your protagonists that I admire as perfect craftsmanship. Maybe you worked at it, but in the writing it comes across very naturally.
This should be a six, but I have none left.
Excellent, keep it up, Tony.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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I really appreciate your encouraging comments, apky. It is the support of reviewers like you that keeps me going, and keeps me on track. I imagine that this would be just another shelved project without this interactive environment. Thank you!