A Potpourri of Poetic Curiosities
Viewing comments for Chapter 339 "Premonstrance"A collection of poems showcasing unusual words
11 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
So much is written about Nostradamus, it is curious, but then I think interpretations are sometimes, like you say. convenient.I enjoyed your
premonstrance poem Craig, it gives food for thought and I enjoyed the read.
cheers.
valda
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2018
So much is written about Nostradamus, it is curious, but then I think interpretations are sometimes, like you say. convenient.I enjoyed your
premonstrance poem Craig, it gives food for thought and I enjoyed the read.
cheers.
valda
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2018
-
Thanks very much, Valda. I'm grateful for the kind comments. Craig
Comment from Gloria ....
Ah another Nostradamus fan. Kidding, but you know in the business of prognostrastating, the whole trick is to make many, many, many predictions and in that way some of them will likely even come true. :)
A most important poem, Craig with a message to keep in mind as the spreaders of stories are becoming much harder to recognize. Or maybe I'm just getting old. ;-)
Gloria
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
Ah another Nostradamus fan. Kidding, but you know in the business of prognostrastating, the whole trick is to make many, many, many predictions and in that way some of them will likely even come true. :)
A most important poem, Craig with a message to keep in mind as the spreaders of stories are becoming much harder to recognize. Or maybe I'm just getting old. ;-)
Gloria
Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
-
I only watch Nostradamus documentaries when there's not a good Erik Von Daniken film on, Gloria ;-)
Thanks for the fun review.
Craig
Comment from lyenochka
A very wise conclusion. I've read John's (I like your reference as the son of Zebedee!) book of Revelation, and the symbolism is quite lost on me. Yet, each generation comes up with their own interpretation and assign timetables to Scripture, ignoring that Jesus said we aren't supposed to know.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
A very wise conclusion. I've read John's (I like your reference as the son of Zebedee!) book of Revelation, and the symbolism is quite lost on me. Yet, each generation comes up with their own interpretation and assign timetables to Scripture, ignoring that Jesus said we aren't supposed to know.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
-
That's a very good point, Helen. To me, when I read it, it seems like John might have attended a few parties thrown by the Beatles, if you get my drift ;-) Many thanks for the great response. Craig
Comment from Sugarray77
Hello, Craig. Your verse is well constructed to allow for the flow of thought in the reader's mind. The rhyming is smooth and the many stanzas allow for a complete reasonable understanding. I love the big, bad word... premonstrance. It looks like a bully. Haha
Melissa
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
Hello, Craig. Your verse is well constructed to allow for the flow of thought in the reader's mind. The rhyming is smooth and the many stanzas allow for a complete reasonable understanding. I love the big, bad word... premonstrance. It looks like a bully. Haha
Melissa
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
-
LOL good, Melissa, because I felt bullied having to work it into a poem! :) Cheers, Craig
Comment from rama devi
This one is clever and amusing and superbly rhymed. The flow is great in most of it but there are some minor issues...also with spag (noted below).
I enjoyed the satirical overtones. As an empath with intense intuition and someone who has experienced a ton of amazing synchronicity and psychic phenomena...I must say i am a believer, though I am not keen on predictions.
I like how your poem clearly states your position while still giving a tiny window crack open to possibility right off the bat with these fun lines:
I might admit that after a few wines
I could, conceivably, accept such views.
Your rhyming is superb and creative. Brilliant, even.
Spag and nit-notes:
For Nostradamus had such great success(,)
though he achieved it quite posthumously.
I thought it very clever how you used enjambment with these lines:
Or were some vague prognostications used
as tools with which a hopeful throng could build
their vision of a future victory,
in contrast to the darkness of their days?
HERE TOO:
Is there a chance these harbingers could be
a trick by which the clever can amaze
some people so determined to believe
in something... anything... out of the norm?
*scansion a bit forced on the word devotees:
then future devotees select a fit
*
I see no reason we should waste our time,(no ,)
in fear of things we have no means to change.
*scansion a bit forced on soothsayer, and A implies singular while THEIR implies plural, so this is spaggy too:
So, when a soothsayer begins their spin,
IDEA:
So when soothsayers start to speak their spin
Perfect closing note:
be thankful that you were not taken in,
and concentrate on living for today.
I enjoyed this. Fine presentation too. Since you usually edit spag, five stars in advance, since I am popped and heading offline now (it's 9 pm in India)....had a long day.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
This one is clever and amusing and superbly rhymed. The flow is great in most of it but there are some minor issues...also with spag (noted below).
I enjoyed the satirical overtones. As an empath with intense intuition and someone who has experienced a ton of amazing synchronicity and psychic phenomena...I must say i am a believer, though I am not keen on predictions.
I like how your poem clearly states your position while still giving a tiny window crack open to possibility right off the bat with these fun lines:
I might admit that after a few wines
I could, conceivably, accept such views.
Your rhyming is superb and creative. Brilliant, even.
Spag and nit-notes:
For Nostradamus had such great success(,)
though he achieved it quite posthumously.
I thought it very clever how you used enjambment with these lines:
Or were some vague prognostications used
as tools with which a hopeful throng could build
their vision of a future victory,
in contrast to the darkness of their days?
HERE TOO:
Is there a chance these harbingers could be
a trick by which the clever can amaze
some people so determined to believe
in something... anything... out of the norm?
*scansion a bit forced on the word devotees:
then future devotees select a fit
*
I see no reason we should waste our time,(no ,)
in fear of things we have no means to change.
*scansion a bit forced on soothsayer, and A implies singular while THEIR implies plural, so this is spaggy too:
So, when a soothsayer begins their spin,
IDEA:
So when soothsayers start to speak their spin
Perfect closing note:
be thankful that you were not taken in,
and concentrate on living for today.
I enjoyed this. Fine presentation too. Since you usually edit spag, five stars in advance, since I am popped and heading offline now (it's 9 pm in India)....had a long day.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
-
Hi RD,
Thanks once again for the great suggestions. I've made several changes, one reluctantly (lol), and one thing I didn't change. I just thought I'd give you my thoughts why...
Concerning the insertion of a comma after "success", and removal of the one after "time", no arguments -- done.
I do not hear any problem with "devotees", to me the scansion is perfect. Could this once again comes down to different pronunciations? This is how I read the line:
then future devotees select a fit
and each syllable is stressed the same way as in plain speech. So anyway, I didn't change it.
Regarding this line:
So, when a soothsayer begins their spin,
you suggest:
So when soothsayers start to speak their spin
The way I have written it, the emphasis is on "sooth" which is where it naturally falls when I say the word. It seems you emphasise the "say" part. Again, a regional thing?
In any case, the real issue, as you point out, is the single/plural issue. It's my understanding that, in the absence of a built-for-purpose, gender-neutral pronoun, the English language has for centuries accepted "they" and "their" as substitutes, although it went out of fashion somewhat in the 20th century, and people were forced to use awkward phrases such as "Somebody left his or her parcel on the chair," instead of "Somebody left their parcel on the chair." Or else, they committed the worse sin of pretending half the population doesn't exist: "Somebody left his parcel on the chair," because women don't carry packages! I have read that with the present emphasis on gender equality, this objection has largely disappeared, and the use of "their" in the singular is almost universally accepted.
In any case, to avoid any possible objection, I've changed it to:
So, when the soothsayers begin their spin,
This avoids the gender thing, while keeping the emphasis I find natural.
I hope you don't think this rambling answer is "defending" my work. It's just that, since you go to so much trouble to offer very helpful suggestions, when I don't use all of them, I feel I owe you an explanation.
Sadly, I can't give you another nom for almost a month, but you have my sincere thanks, for what that's worth :)
Craig
-
The scansion issues are due to us pronouncing all those words totally differently. May be a matter of diction.
deVOTees is how it should be, in my book.
Soothsayers that word is not very conducive to iambs! But the sound SOOTH should be accented, I believe.
Using THEIR is okay - thanks for your thoughts on that. My reason for wanting a change in that line was more for meter than the pluralization issues.
Warmly,
rd
-
I thought that was the case. deVOTees is definitely not how it's said here lol - it's devo-tees, with not much emphasis on one part over another. It's so much easier when you can hear the other person!
Much gratitude :)
Craig
-
:-))))
I' hear people say it both ways!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with this unusual word, Craig. Everything fits logically with your theme. Your lines flow smoothly, good job with the rhymes, the enjambment is really good, and the message clearly expressed. I believe you are correct in what you wrote. Back then, the people were easily swayed and did believe most anything because they were not as advanced as today. However they had to make sense of their world as 'new' stuff came into play. One way would have been to believe in those predictions. And yes, some still do even today, Good job and thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
You did a great job with this unusual word, Craig. Everything fits logically with your theme. Your lines flow smoothly, good job with the rhymes, the enjambment is really good, and the message clearly expressed. I believe you are correct in what you wrote. Back then, the people were easily swayed and did believe most anything because they were not as advanced as today. However they had to make sense of their world as 'new' stuff came into play. One way would have been to believe in those predictions. And yes, some still do even today, Good job and thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
-
Thanks so much, Jan. I appreciate the kind and thoughtful comments. Craig
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem. We are not able to see the future and that is why we have to live each day the best we can. Some may have another chance tomorrow while others will not be that lucky.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
A very well-written poem. We are not able to see the future and that is why we have to live each day the best we can. Some may have another chance tomorrow while others will not be that lucky.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
-
That's very true, Sandra. Many thanks, Craig
Comment from BeasPeas
An excellent poem, Craig. Well written and rhymed with logical and clear flow throughout. The best advice is in your last line which is to enjoy today. "Scholars" have poured over Nostradamus' works for centuries and placed various meanings on them. Marilyn
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
An excellent poem, Craig. Well written and rhymed with logical and clear flow throughout. The best advice is in your last line which is to enjoy today. "Scholars" have poured over Nostradamus' works for centuries and placed various meanings on them. Marilyn
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
-
Indeed, and I'm glad you thought to include the quotes around "scholars", Marilyn :)
Most grateful for the thoughtful review.
Craig
Comment from Jean Hornby
Interesting poem that carries a strong message. I like it's story and it does make you question and wonder about those invisible things in life.
This is quite a deep write that has a good flow.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
Interesting poem that carries a strong message. I like it's story and it does make you question and wonder about those invisible things in life.
This is quite a deep write that has a good flow.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
-
Thanks very much, Jean. I appreciate the kind comments. Craig
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I love your sentiments here, your rhymes and the general positive vibes in your words and I learned a new word. I believe our action can evoke luck and also be unlucky, if we have a positive attitude and see good things, then good things happen, I am a firm believer in that philosophy, your poem was much enjoyed, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
I love your sentiments here, your rhymes and the general positive vibes in your words and I learned a new word. I believe our action can evoke luck and also be unlucky, if we have a positive attitude and see good things, then good things happen, I am a firm believer in that philosophy, your poem was much enjoyed, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018
-
Thanks very much Dolly, your kind comments are equally enjoyed :) Cheers, Craig