The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "What's in a Name?"A Novel
23 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
First, what a great car. Looks like the Fiat 124 Spider. My brother had a Triumph TR4, probably a 1965, in British racing green.
A nice little kink for Sir David. Bad luck really.
Who would have guessed Charles was a member of RAF Club -6.
The 'meeting' should prove interesting, if it happens.
You fill in idle time with excellent imagery, like when Charles is waiting on the phone.
I'd bet Helen would love a ride in that MGB, though it might prove a bit sedate for her.
What's in a name? Especially a made up name.
Well done.
Robert
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Hello Tony,
First, what a great car. Looks like the Fiat 124 Spider. My brother had a Triumph TR4, probably a 1965, in British racing green.
A nice little kink for Sir David. Bad luck really.
Who would have guessed Charles was a member of RAF Club -6.
The 'meeting' should prove interesting, if it happens.
You fill in idle time with excellent imagery, like when Charles is waiting on the phone.
I'd bet Helen would love a ride in that MGB, though it might prove a bit sedate for her.
What's in a name? Especially a made up name.
Well done.
Robert
Comment Written 06-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Robert. I used to have an MGB years ago. Not much oomph, but it felt as though your were going fast, being so low to the ground. I'd take me all day to get into and out of one these days! As always, I appreciate your comments and the sixth star. All the best, Tony
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Excellent artwork, and a very
good chapter, Tony, that combines
the conversation with Brokenhurst;
your vivid descriptions; and then meeting
one of Charles's old friends.
-I enjoyed the humor in the story, too,
like "I shall leap like a rocketing pheasant,"
and Charles's comment to Sir David.
-We will anticipate the meeting between
the two to find out what Brockenhurst
has in mind, especially since he cannot
be identified at the club where he
said he was a member.
-He seems an elusive guy!
-The conversation with Bisto lightens
things up, and Charles is on his
way in his MGB Convertible!
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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-Excellent artwork, and a very
good chapter, Tony, that combines
the conversation with Brokenhurst;
your vivid descriptions; and then meeting
one of Charles's old friends.
-I enjoyed the humor in the story, too,
like "I shall leap like a rocketing pheasant,"
and Charles's comment to Sir David.
-We will anticipate the meeting between
the two to find out what Brockenhurst
has in mind, especially since he cannot
be identified at the club where he
said he was a member.
-He seems an elusive guy!
-The conversation with Bisto lightens
things up, and Charles is on his
way in his MGB Convertible!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Pam. I appreciate your comments about the dialogue and humour, and the fact you liked the chapter enough to award a sixth star. All the best, Tony
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You are very welcome and deserving, Tony. You are doing a great job with this.
Comment from Artasylum
Great job Tony... Your writing is very much your own style a signature style it is... excellent chapter and a page-turner... looking forward to more ... yours, diana
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Great job Tony... Your writing is very much your own style a signature style it is... excellent chapter and a page-turner... looking forward to more ... yours, diana
Comment Written 05-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Very many thanks for this review, Diana. Sorry I'm a bit slow getting back to you. I seem to have had rather a lot on recently. I appreciate your comments and affirmation. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
> When you got to this line, and I was waiting, "I had the dust cover off the MGB Convertible in no time." And then you began describing the vehicle I was drooling. Chuckle! And then I went back to the top to take a look at it and I was not disappointed, but I love the "BUG-EYE edition. Always that the triumph? I think it was the triumph? anyways I like those little sports cars.
> Again, I was very entertained, Tony, and it's like to sit down see what Charles is going to do next and who's he going to have his opinion about later.
>I kinda wonder if there isn't even a man named David Brockenhurst?
> Charles is going to be checking them out.
> Not to be far too so to Charles going to go across the channel and be magnetically lured to Helen.
> Yes he's gotta take care of business, right, what kind of businesses that when the underlying mutual feeling inside his heart is that he is really want to see Helen.
> Enjoyed it immensely again and thanks for showing looking forward to the next chapter.
> Take care and have a good one Tony.
Alx
PS: I wonder if Charles got his head on straight and what kind of conviction he really has and what is he going to do, when he gets to Paris?
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Cheers, Tony;
> When you got to this line, and I was waiting, "I had the dust cover off the MGB Convertible in no time." And then you began describing the vehicle I was drooling. Chuckle! And then I went back to the top to take a look at it and I was not disappointed, but I love the "BUG-EYE edition. Always that the triumph? I think it was the triumph? anyways I like those little sports cars.
> Again, I was very entertained, Tony, and it's like to sit down see what Charles is going to do next and who's he going to have his opinion about later.
>I kinda wonder if there isn't even a man named David Brockenhurst?
> Charles is going to be checking them out.
> Not to be far too so to Charles going to go across the channel and be magnetically lured to Helen.
> Yes he's gotta take care of business, right, what kind of businesses that when the underlying mutual feeling inside his heart is that he is really want to see Helen.
> Enjoyed it immensely again and thanks for showing looking forward to the next chapter.
> Take care and have a good one Tony.
Alx
PS: I wonder if Charles got his head on straight and what kind of conviction he really has and what is he going to do, when he gets to Paris?
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Very many thanks for this review, Alx. Sorry I'm a bit slow getting back to you. I seem to have had rather a lot on recently. I appreciate your comments and affirmation. Glad you're still enjoying this long saga! Best wishes, Tony
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Yes you got me hook line and sinker, Tony, it will be a real long time before you going to shake me. Chuckle!
Alx
Comment from shaffer40
Impeccable writing and, despite not reading the other chapters, intriguing. I found myself wondering about Bisto and why he wasn't registered in that hotel. Many pithy phrases and snappy dialogue and appears to contain many interesting characters.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Impeccable writing and, despite not reading the other chapters, intriguing. I found myself wondering about Bisto and why he wasn't registered in that hotel. Many pithy phrases and snappy dialogue and appears to contain many interesting characters.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Very many thanks for this review, Shaffer40. Sorry I'm a bit slow getting back to you. I seem to have had rather a lot on recently. I appreciate your comments and the affirmation of a sixth star. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mastery
Hello, Tony. This chapter seems to begin a new book other than the French Letter--am I right in thinking that?
Good imagery here, but a bit of a stretch perhaps:
" The sun was out again and the plum tree in the front garden was glistening. A Blue Tit flew across and landed on one of the smaller branches, unleashing a crystal shower. It hopped onto a ripe plum, straddled it with its claws, and started to peck. Why not, I thought? I wasn't likely to be around to eat them.
Suggestions: Never have a telephone conversation involving two people on the line unless you are prepared to do it ALL the right way, so it sounds real. Otherwise it breaks the realism of your story in to not sounding real at all. Example:
" I called the club. "Have you a room for tonight? Just a single. Flight Lieutenant Brandon." It seemed strange putting the rank in front of my name after all this time. This is a great example of the difference between "telling" and "showing."
(You should have some responses from the clerk on the other end also. Of course it takes more time and seems like it should be unnecessary, but nobody said good writing was easy. :)
I hope I have made myself clear with this suggestion, Tony. Perhaps something is lost to me in the translation in the way you speak versus me as an American. LOL.
Good job, my friend. Just a few things to handle, I think. Bless you, Bob
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Hello, Tony. This chapter seems to begin a new book other than the French Letter--am I right in thinking that?
Good imagery here, but a bit of a stretch perhaps:
" The sun was out again and the plum tree in the front garden was glistening. A Blue Tit flew across and landed on one of the smaller branches, unleashing a crystal shower. It hopped onto a ripe plum, straddled it with its claws, and started to peck. Why not, I thought? I wasn't likely to be around to eat them.
Suggestions: Never have a telephone conversation involving two people on the line unless you are prepared to do it ALL the right way, so it sounds real. Otherwise it breaks the realism of your story in to not sounding real at all. Example:
" I called the club. "Have you a room for tonight? Just a single. Flight Lieutenant Brandon." It seemed strange putting the rank in front of my name after all this time. This is a great example of the difference between "telling" and "showing."
(You should have some responses from the clerk on the other end also. Of course it takes more time and seems like it should be unnecessary, but nobody said good writing was easy. :)
I hope I have made myself clear with this suggestion, Tony. Perhaps something is lost to me in the translation in the way you speak versus me as an American. LOL.
Good job, my friend. Just a few things to handle, I think. Bless you, Bob
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Very many thanks for this review, Bob. Sorry I'm a bit slow getting back to you. I seem to have had rather a lot on recently. I appreciate your comments, especially those about the telephone conversation. I need to go back and look at that again more carefully. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from estory
An interesting mystery begins to unfold as Brockhurst apparently isn't who he says he is. He is not a member of the club, at any rate. What could he be up to? I think that angle is the sharp part of the chapter and the surrounding scenes get a little fuzzy. You do have Charles wondering why he is going back to Paris; for love, perhaps, as much as the mystery? The language here is colorful and there's plenty of personality in the writing, just watch the focus. We don't want to lose too much touch with Kayla and her sister and the main part of the story. estory
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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An interesting mystery begins to unfold as Brockhurst apparently isn't who he says he is. He is not a member of the club, at any rate. What could he be up to? I think that angle is the sharp part of the chapter and the surrounding scenes get a little fuzzy. You do have Charles wondering why he is going back to Paris; for love, perhaps, as much as the mystery? The language here is colorful and there's plenty of personality in the writing, just watch the focus. We don't want to lose too much touch with Kayla and her sister and the main part of the story. estory
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Very many thanks for this review, estory. Sorry I'm a bit slow getting back to you. I seem to have had rather a lot on recently. I appreciate your comments and warning about retaining focus on the central elements of the story. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter and it seems Sir David Brockenhurst exists in another name. He pretends to be the character of imagination, so now who could he really be?
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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A very well-written chapter and it seems Sir David Brockenhurst exists in another name. He pretends to be the character of imagination, so now who could he really be?
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Very many thanks for this review, Sandra. Sorry I'm a bit slow getting back to you. I seem to have had rather a lot on recently. I appreciate your comments and affirmation. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from JudyE
You've drawn your characters well, in my humble opinion. And now I'm sure all your readers, including me, are wondering about Brockenhurst. I did wonder if blue tit should be spelt without capitals. And also if 'Convertible' should be lower-case.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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You've drawn your characters well, in my humble opinion. And now I'm sure all your readers, including me, are wondering about Brockenhurst. I did wonder if blue tit should be spelt without capitals. And also if 'Convertible' should be lower-case.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Very many thanks for this review, Judy. Sorry I'm a bit slow getting back to you. I seem to have had rather a lot on recently. I appreciate your comments and affirmation. Looking back, I agree with your comments about capitalisation and have reverted to lower case letters. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from WryWriter
Perfection, ol' boy! Perfection! LOL! Breezed through this fabulous work, intrigued and left wanting more. I could feel the breeze blowing my hair riding in the convertible. Great job!
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Perfection, ol' boy! Perfection! LOL! Breezed through this fabulous work, intrigued and left wanting more. I could feel the breeze blowing my hair riding in the convertible. Great job!
Comment Written 03-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Very many thanks for this review, WryWriter. Sorry I'm a bit slow getting back to you. I seem to have had rather a lot on recently. I appreciate your comments and the affirmation of the sixth star. Best wishes, Tony