A Fated Composition
Lyrical Poem Contest Entry11 total reviews
Comment from Darlene Franklin
"her heart can't find the notes to play." This one I can easily imagine set to music. The piano, awaiting her touch, but she can't bear to play a solo. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
  |
"her heart can't find the notes to play." This one I can easily imagine set to music. The piano, awaiting her touch, but she can't bear to play a solo. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
-
Wow! Your comments are spot on and I love when a reviewer "gets" the essence of what I was trying to capture. I'm glad you enjoyed this. I appreciate this review. Thank you. Lynda
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I enjoyed this entry for the contest, perfect flow and rhymes and I could hear the music oozing from these words, I wish you luck, you won my vote here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
|
I enjoyed this entry for the contest, perfect flow and rhymes and I could hear the music oozing from these words, I wish you luck, you won my vote here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
-
Thank you, Dolly! I found writing for music is different from other popular poetry forms. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Lovely comments. Much appreciated. Lynda
Comment from Lordinajamjar
Oh Lynda such a sad lament to lost love. I felt every written word.
A very nice presentation. I felt her loneliness in that sad music room that has now fallen silent.
Great job. Worthy of a six. ;)
Best
John
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
 |
Oh Lynda such a sad lament to lost love. I felt every written word.
A very nice presentation. I felt her loneliness in that sad music room that has now fallen silent.
Great job. Worthy of a six. ;)
Best
John
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
-
Thank you, John! Wow, love those stars!!! Awesome. Lyrical writing is different. It helps to have music in your head. I'm glad you liked this. Thanks for the sixer and welcome back Lord Rat Milk. LOL Lynda
-
Hahaha I managed to offload the Rat's Milk after it turned into rancid blue cheese. Just in time it turned out, because a zombie plague broke out soon after.
-
LMAO!!!!! Too funny!!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written lyrical poenm about the pianist who cannot play the piano after her partner left her the day before, the pain of his betrayal to fresh to find comfort in her music like before.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
|
A very well-written lyrical poenm about the pianist who cannot play the piano after her partner left her the day before, the pain of his betrayal to fresh to find comfort in her music like before.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
-
Thank you, Sandra. Loved these comments. I really like when a reviewer completely gets it. Much appreciated. Lynda
Comment from RodG
This is very nice. We can easily visualize the romance that began around a piano and music. It was lovely until it ended. Your chorus shows the contrast of her status now vividly. A smooth musical cadence and natural rhymes. A splendid contest entry except for one spag:
sadly lost ITS shine.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
|
This is very nice. We can easily visualize the romance that began around a piano and music. It was lovely until it ended. Your chorus shows the contrast of her status now vividly. A smooth musical cadence and natural rhymes. A splendid contest entry except for one spag:
sadly lost ITS shine.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
-
Thanks for the fix!! Lord! Someone else caught it, too. I'm glad you liked this. You recognizing the musical cadence in this piece is a great bonus. I appreciate your time here to read this and review. Lovely comments. Thank you. Lynda
-
My pleasure. Rod
Comment from JudyE
The rhythm and rhyme here certainly makes for an impressive lyrical poem. No-one feels like making music when their love departs.
I picked up a small spag. In verse 2, 4th line, delete apostrophe from it's.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
|
The rhythm and rhyme here certainly makes for an impressive lyrical poem. No-one feels like making music when their love departs.
I picked up a small spag. In verse 2, 4th line, delete apostrophe from it's.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
-
Thank you, Judy! Thanks for the fix. Someone else caught it as well. Sometimes you read something over and over and over until you are blind and don't catch simple stuff like this. Yes, you understood the vacuum that happens at the end of a relationship. I very much appreciate your comments. Thank you! Lynda
Comment from LisaMay
I could hear some music in my head as I was reading this... sad music cos this is tragic... it's awful when we lose the music because we don't feel loved anymore. I read some of the other entries and they left me unmoved, they didn't speak to me 'lyrically' but yours does, so I hope it is a winner for you.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
|
I could hear some music in my head as I was reading this... sad music cos this is tragic... it's awful when we lose the music because we don't feel loved anymore. I read some of the other entries and they left me unmoved, they didn't speak to me 'lyrically' but yours does, so I hope it is a winner for you.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
-
Thank you, Lisa. I learned that 'lyrical' writing is different from your basic poetry form. Applying music changes everything. Your comments are lovely and greatly appreciated. Lynda
Comment from dmt1967
This is a beautiful song and I liked the way it told a story. I liked the black and white retro style of the poem and the picture and the way each verse ran into the next. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
|
This is a beautiful song and I liked the way it told a story. I liked the black and white retro style of the poem and the picture and the way each verse ran into the next. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
-
Thank you! I'm glad you liked the formatting on this. Your comments are lovely and greatly appreciated. Lynda
Comment from Kamisah Karim
A beautiful lyrical poem.The feeling of a broken heart cleverly written here.The songs and tune representing the love story are suitable imageries for this poem.
Congrates.Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
|
A beautiful lyrical poem.The feeling of a broken heart cleverly written here.The songs and tune representing the love story are suitable imageries for this poem.
Congrates.Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
-
Thank you, Kamisah. Lovely comments. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Much appreciated. Welcome to Fanstory! Lynda
-
Thank you for welcoming me.Appreciate the gesture.Have a nice day ahead.
Comment from DragonSkulls
Finally, a piece that reads like a song. There's another piece or two that comes close in this contest but for the most part, they don't. The contest creator didn't actually say it needed to be a "song" rather than just a poem but I see anything that has a repeating chorus as a song. Secondly, perfect picture you chose to go with it. I love how you worked music references throughout the piece. My mom plays piano and I'm sure she'd love this piece too. I think you have a winning work here, Lynda. I wish you the best of luck in the booth. Excellent write. Thank you. Have a great day.
DS
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
|
Finally, a piece that reads like a song. There's another piece or two that comes close in this contest but for the most part, they don't. The contest creator didn't actually say it needed to be a "song" rather than just a poem but I see anything that has a repeating chorus as a song. Secondly, perfect picture you chose to go with it. I love how you worked music references throughout the piece. My mom plays piano and I'm sure she'd love this piece too. I think you have a winning work here, Lynda. I wish you the best of luck in the booth. Excellent write. Thank you. Have a great day.
DS
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
-
Mr. Skulls..... Awesome review. Thank you doesn't come close enough to expressing how humbled I am by your comments. They are beautiful and I appreciate the stars as well. Thank you. Lynda