Miscellaneous Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "haiku (a raging torrent)"Poems not in other books
17 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This sounds like me -
follows the same path daily
going nowhere fast and some would say I am at times a raging torrent.
This one made me think, especially the going nowhere fast. Always water pounding over the same rocks where is it going? in this pic it looks fast, but static. Enough, I'm outa here, enjoyed it Craig.,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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This sounds like me -
follows the same path daily
going nowhere fast and some would say I am at times a raging torrent.
This one made me think, especially the going nowhere fast. Always water pounding over the same rocks where is it going? in this pic it looks fast, but static. Enough, I'm outa here, enjoyed it Craig.,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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You nailed the gist of what I was trying to get at, Valda. Thanks so much for the perceptive review :) Craig
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, A Raging Torrent, presented as a 5-7-5, finds the power of the stream still carving the path to release into the sea below.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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This haiku, A Raging Torrent, presented as a 5-7-5, finds the power of the stream still carving the path to release into the sea below.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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The water moves, the stream or river goes nowhere. Thanks, Bill.
Comment from --Turtle.
Really pretty haiku here,
What I see is a 5-7-5 structure that gives the sense of -- on the face, an image of a stretch of fast-moving water, the location, not the water ... as the water itself moves, but the location stays the same, plays out the same, with a similar sound of battery. New faces... same outcome. The going nowhere fast ... Really enjoy the play of sensations about it. With water rushing fast, I think of spring... with ice melting causing more flow, a riling up of.
I really like the fast nowhere... as the water is moving fast, but the continuous image of the location is static to the same image of water moving.
I also like the emotional echo of the image I got, with word uses like raging, and the same path daily, and going nowhere fast, where humanity is in this big hurry, or a single individual is in a big angry hurry, treading the same negative emotion full steam ahead, but getting nowhere with it, and nowhere gotten, full steam ahead.
Also conceptually applied this image to a virtual stream, words poured into the internetosphere.... like a constant barage of the jerry springer show... same'old sounds over and over again.. where the pouring nonsense is almost violent in its passion, each propelled droplet believing its trajectory more important than the last same droplet traveling before it, all blind to the driving nature forces as the individual components of the river assumes the direction it rages is somehow uneffected by the inputs of the surroundings.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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Really pretty haiku here,
What I see is a 5-7-5 structure that gives the sense of -- on the face, an image of a stretch of fast-moving water, the location, not the water ... as the water itself moves, but the location stays the same, plays out the same, with a similar sound of battery. New faces... same outcome. The going nowhere fast ... Really enjoy the play of sensations about it. With water rushing fast, I think of spring... with ice melting causing more flow, a riling up of.
I really like the fast nowhere... as the water is moving fast, but the continuous image of the location is static to the same image of water moving.
I also like the emotional echo of the image I got, with word uses like raging, and the same path daily, and going nowhere fast, where humanity is in this big hurry, or a single individual is in a big angry hurry, treading the same negative emotion full steam ahead, but getting nowhere with it, and nowhere gotten, full steam ahead.
Also conceptually applied this image to a virtual stream, words poured into the internetosphere.... like a constant barage of the jerry springer show... same'old sounds over and over again.. where the pouring nonsense is almost violent in its passion, each propelled droplet believing its trajectory more important than the last same droplet traveling before it, all blind to the driving nature forces as the individual components of the river assumes the direction it rages is somehow uneffected by the inputs of the surroundings.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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I love your reviews, Turtle. You always extract the full meaning of what you read with such diligence. Your corrections, when offered, are always helpful and appropriate, and your encouragement, uplifting. Thanks for another terrific one. I think, after seemingly far too long, I might be able to reward this one with a vote.
Comment from Sugarray77
Hi there! I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 and think it can be interpreted to mean many things... a river is my last choice. Ha! I know a person who is a raging torrent and true to form... she gets nowhere with her antics.. Well said.
Melissa
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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Hi there! I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 and think it can be interpreted to mean many things... a river is my last choice. Ha! I know a person who is a raging torrent and true to form... she gets nowhere with her antics.. Well said.
Melissa
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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Glad you got the gist of it. Thanks so much for the great comments :) Craig
Comment from BeasPeas
I like this. Most of the time a raging torrent takes the easiest, most expedient path and therefore is predictable. Some things, when unstoppable, leave us no choice but to "go with the flow" as we said in the '60's. Nicely worded and illustrated. Marilyn
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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I like this. Most of the time a raging torrent takes the easiest, most expedient path and therefore is predictable. Some things, when unstoppable, leave us no choice but to "go with the flow" as we said in the '60's. Nicely worded and illustrated. Marilyn
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thanks again, Marilyn. A lot of things were said in the 60s, many of them not recalled by those who said them :) Cheers, Craig
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So true. We had many sayings that are passe now. I expect there are always new ones to replace. Marilyn
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made excellent use of all your syllables to describe--through
the image of a raging river--how a flighty, uncontrolled person may
be frenetically BUSY, but accomplishing little.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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You have made excellent use of all your syllables to describe--through
the image of a raging river--how a flighty, uncontrolled person may
be frenetically BUSY, but accomplishing little.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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That's certainly true, Janice. Most grateful for the kind review. Craig
Comment from Gloria ....
That is a most misleading photograph you have attached, Craig and I like it. We do seem to be in a big hurry doing the same thing day after day and not going anywhere. And some of us don't even go fast, we just meander along the same old path.
Excellent fiveseventyfive possibly about a river, or about a possible river.
Enjoyed.
Gloria
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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That is a most misleading photograph you have attached, Craig and I like it. We do seem to be in a big hurry doing the same thing day after day and not going anywhere. And some of us don't even go fast, we just meander along the same old path.
Excellent fiveseventyfive possibly about a river, or about a possible river.
Enjoyed.
Gloria
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much, Gloria :) A five seventy five.... now that would be a challenge, I think! Cheers, Craig
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Yep, especially trying to fit seventy syllables on a single line. My guess type size .00003
Comment from catch22
Isn't that a metaphor for the definition of insanity Craig? Maybe the river should try its hand in the forums? Anyways, top notch haiku with excellent word economy and concrete visuals. Excellent summation as well.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Isn't that a metaphor for the definition of insanity Craig? Maybe the river should try its hand in the forums? Anyways, top notch haiku with excellent word economy and concrete visuals. Excellent summation as well.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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LOL Pam,
There is plenty of raging goes on there, for sure. Also, lots of activity which goes nowhere. Some, however, seem to find themselves irresistibly drawn to discussions of things that will never be resolved. How foolish ;-)
This is the one I intended to enter into the contest, until I messed up :)
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Hi Craig, you certainly have a knack for teaching and the patience of a saint lol. I admire that about you.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Possibly about a river OR possibly about the emotions of humans involved in some kind of struggle with others or themselves. Anyway one takes it, though, it reads smoothly, and paints a great picture. I do like the picture chosen, Craig. Good job with the style of haiku. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Possibly about a river OR possibly about the emotions of humans involved in some kind of struggle with others or themselves. Anyway one takes it, though, it reads smoothly, and paints a great picture. I do like the picture chosen, Craig. Good job with the style of haiku. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thanks very much for the lovely comments, Jan. Haikus are (apparently) not meant to be metaphors or have anything other than a natural meaning, so I can neither confirm nor deny anything lol
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku about the raging torrent that follows the same path day after day and seems to go nowhere fasto until each drop reaches the ocean.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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A very well-written haiku about the raging torrent that follows the same path day after day and seems to go nowhere fasto until each drop reaches the ocean.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thanks very much, Sandra. I really appreciate your continued support in reviewing my poems :) Cheers, Craig