The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Piper, part 26"Young Adult Fantasy
12 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Such amazing imagery, Debi! Your description of the waterfall gave me chills.
True to form, you gave us some more fantasy creatures to meet. We meet faeries and learn a bit about their rules.
Lynx is adorable!
Here, we start getting the idea that Summerstorm is really Piper's father. I like the choice Piper had to make on which life direction to take!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2023
  |
Such amazing imagery, Debi! Your description of the waterfall gave me chills.
True to form, you gave us some more fantasy creatures to meet. We meet faeries and learn a bit about their rules.
Lynx is adorable!
Here, we start getting the idea that Summerstorm is really Piper's father. I like the choice Piper had to make on which life direction to take!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2023
-
Hi Rhonda,
Thank you for the encouraging review. I appreciate the comments about the waterfall. I'm glad you like Lynx. I think Piper might be stuck with him. LOL.
-
That?s so cute! He?s such a realistic character!
Comment from May 1
Wow, that sounds breathtakingly beautiful. I love waterfalls. Yes, I imagine it must be scare knowing there would be no going back. The faeries sound simply wonderful, I wish I was in Piper's shoes. Wonderful chapter ending.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
 |
Wow, that sounds breathtakingly beautiful. I love waterfalls. Yes, I imagine it must be scare knowing there would be no going back. The faeries sound simply wonderful, I wish I was in Piper's shoes. Wonderful chapter ending.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
-
Hi May 1,
Thank you for the wonderful six star rating. I certainly didn't expect it. I am honored.
I am happy you enjoyed this chapter with the waterfall and the faeries greeting Piper. Piper is moving into unknown territory now.
Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image,
and very good chapter, Debi.
-You create very
fanciful and idyllic scenes
with your descriptions.
-There are waterfalls, lush
forests, and lovely fairies.
-Piper is happy and peaceful.
-One could say it is too good
to be true; but it is nice for
Piper to be able to enjoy this
and have a sense of family.
-You include a bit of hesitation
at the beginning as he makes
steps closer and closer to the
realm from which there is no
turning back.
-Time will tell how long this lasts,
and what comes next-a calm
existence, or calm before the storm,
or is that Summerstorm?
-Well done.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
|
-Very nice image,
and very good chapter, Debi.
-You create very
fanciful and idyllic scenes
with your descriptions.
-There are waterfalls, lush
forests, and lovely fairies.
-Piper is happy and peaceful.
-One could say it is too good
to be true; but it is nice for
Piper to be able to enjoy this
and have a sense of family.
-You include a bit of hesitation
at the beginning as he makes
steps closer and closer to the
realm from which there is no
turning back.
-Time will tell how long this lasts,
and what comes next-a calm
existence, or calm before the storm,
or is that Summerstorm?
-Well done.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2019
-
Hi Pam,
Thank you for the wonderful six stars. I especially appreciate the detailed review and your analysis of the chapter. I love that last line
"calm before the storm or is it Summerstorm?"
It made me smile. Very clever.
Debi
-
You are very welcome and deserving, Debi, and I appreciate your reply. I think your story brings it out in me, and I'm glad you liked the line.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Debi,
An enchanting chapter of magical wonder. It seems the noble fairy is well aware of Piper, son of Summerstorm. Since Piper is half-Elven, his mother, Elven Melodica, it should prove interesting to learn about the relationship to
Redd-Leif.
You've got marvelous description of the forest and hidden falls and
the reunion of mother and son will be intriguing.
Well done. Looking forward to more...
Robert
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
|
Hello Debi,
An enchanting chapter of magical wonder. It seems the noble fairy is well aware of Piper, son of Summerstorm. Since Piper is half-Elven, his mother, Elven Melodica, it should prove interesting to learn about the relationship to
Redd-Leif.
You've got marvelous description of the forest and hidden falls and
the reunion of mother and son will be intriguing.
Well done. Looking forward to more...
Robert
Comment Written 12-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
-
Hi Robert,
Thank you so much for the generous six stars and the wonderful comments. I am happy to hear you look forward to more. It's a coming.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
How wonderful it would be to see a herd of Fairies.
Piper is getting a wonderful tour of the Fair Folk's domain and enjoying every minute of it. Good imagery, Debi. Well done. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
|
How wonderful it would be to see a herd of Fairies.
Piper is getting a wonderful tour of the Fair Folk's domain and enjoying every minute of it. Good imagery, Debi. Well done. Nancy:)
Comment Written 12-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
-
Hi Nancy,
Thank you for the encouraging comments about the story and the writing.
Debi
Comment from juliaSjames
This is a beautiful chapter, the falls, the fairies. But the six is for your deft hand at description. You draw the reader into this magical write. It's also wonderful how you play the contrast between Piper's nervous journey behind the falls and the delight of the meeting with the fairies.
One point, I may have missed it, but did you give a hint about the size of the fairies? I know you described their wings.
I do enjoy your writing. But I guess you know that, right?
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
|
This is a beautiful chapter, the falls, the fairies. But the six is for your deft hand at description. You draw the reader into this magical write. It's also wonderful how you play the contrast between Piper's nervous journey behind the falls and the delight of the meeting with the fairies.
One point, I may have missed it, but did you give a hint about the size of the fairies? I know you described their wings.
I do enjoy your writing. But I guess you know that, right?
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 12-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
-
Hi Julia,
Thank you for the generous six stars and the encouraging comments about the writing. When I looked at the description of the fairies, I saw that you are correct. I forgot to mention their size. Funny since I have it in my notes, but somehow didn't translate that to the story.
I did add this sentence
"Their bodies looked like perfectly proportioned mini elves varying in height from one to three inches."
Thank you so much for catching that!
Debi
-
Oh that makes a difference. I can visualize them like little birds. No wonder Lynx can startle them when he gets loud. :-))
JJ
-
Oh, the details are so important, aren't they? Thank you again for your help.
-
:-))
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Very nice read. I loved this descriptive sentence: Drops of water glistened in the sunlight like crystal prisms creating dapples of restless color.
I think with this sentence, you want a different punctuation mark: "Thank you," Piper shouted, but he couldn't hear his own voice above the din of the waterfall.
I would say "Thank you!" Piper shouted,
I learned something new with 'herd of fairies.' I see other people have suggested other names on the Internet like A charm, frolick, tizzy, or flutter of fairies
The Irish term also sounds appealing: rade or march. I guess you already looked this up, though!
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
|
Very nice read. I loved this descriptive sentence: Drops of water glistened in the sunlight like crystal prisms creating dapples of restless color.
I think with this sentence, you want a different punctuation mark: "Thank you," Piper shouted, but he couldn't hear his own voice above the din of the waterfall.
I would say "Thank you!" Piper shouted,
I learned something new with 'herd of fairies.' I see other people have suggested other names on the Internet like A charm, frolick, tizzy, or flutter of fairies
The Irish term also sounds appealing: rade or march. I guess you already looked this up, though!
Comment Written 12-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
-
Hi CrystieCookie999,
Thank you for the encouraging comments, and suggestion for improvement. I tend not to use exclamation points, but I think in this case you are right.
I did look up "herd" of fairie. I thought it was funny. I think some of the other terms you mention are more fitting for fairies. I especially like "charm".
Comment from JudyE
I've never really been into fantasy but I thoroughly enjoyed this which I thought was very well written.
I picked up a couple of tiny points but feel free to ignore them:
How could anything this beautiful, this large and this noisy be hidden. - had you meant to put a question mark after 'hidden'?
He didn't realize how chilly the air had been inside the cavern until he felt the warmth of the sun on his skin - I might have said 'He hadn't realized how....'
To the side Lynx whispered to Piper, - comma after 'side'
With that she flew closer - comma after 'that'
"It's been a pleasure visiting with you my friends, - comma after 'you'
Thanks for an entertaining read.
Best wishes
Judy
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
|
I've never really been into fantasy but I thoroughly enjoyed this which I thought was very well written.
I picked up a couple of tiny points but feel free to ignore them:
How could anything this beautiful, this large and this noisy be hidden. - had you meant to put a question mark after 'hidden'?
He didn't realize how chilly the air had been inside the cavern until he felt the warmth of the sun on his skin - I might have said 'He hadn't realized how....'
To the side Lynx whispered to Piper, - comma after 'side'
With that she flew closer - comma after 'that'
"It's been a pleasure visiting with you my friends, - comma after 'you'
Thanks for an entertaining read.
Best wishes
Judy
Comment Written 12-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
-
Hi Judy,
I am so happy to hear you enjoyed reading this fairy tale, even though fantasy is not your normal read.
I appreciate the suggestions to improve my writing and the SPAG.
Debi
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I love waterfalls and what I admire in this chapter is your capacity to describe the nature in vivid colors;"the water at the bottom of the first tier crashing into the canyon wall and abruptly changing direction at a right angle. A surging pool formed at the bottom of the second tier before cascading across rocks and boulders into a roaring stream. Lush forest vegetation grew right up to the edge of the water, thriving on the moisture. The aromas of spring flora and water mingled and scented the air. Mini rainbows attempted to emerge at various levels. Piper shook his head. How could anything this beautiful, this large and this noisy be hidden." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
|
I love waterfalls and what I admire in this chapter is your capacity to describe the nature in vivid colors;"the water at the bottom of the first tier crashing into the canyon wall and abruptly changing direction at a right angle. A surging pool formed at the bottom of the second tier before cascading across rocks and boulders into a roaring stream. Lush forest vegetation grew right up to the edge of the water, thriving on the moisture. The aromas of spring flora and water mingled and scented the air. Mini rainbows attempted to emerge at various levels. Piper shook his head. How could anything this beautiful, this large and this noisy be hidden." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
-
Thank you for the generous six stars. I am honored. Thank you for pointing out what you liked. The falls are going to be an important part of the story so I felt is was important to spend some time on them.
Comment from lyenochka
Enjoyed this chapter and the details you cover especially about the rainbows in the waterfall and the careful maneuvering on the rocks. Sounds like soon Piper will see his relatives!
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
|
Enjoyed this chapter and the details you cover especially about the rainbows in the waterfall and the careful maneuvering on the rocks. Sounds like soon Piper will see his relatives!
Comment Written 11-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
-
I am happy you enjoyed this chapter. You are correct, Piper is will be meeting his mother and sister very soon.