The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 104 "A Game of Chicken"A Novel
25 total reviews
Comment from Pam Norris
Happy New Year!
I continue to enjoy your story. You manage to create tension within each and every chapter. I wonder what you have planned for chapter 105?
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2020
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Happy New Year!
I continue to enjoy your story. You manage to create tension within each and every chapter. I wonder what you have planned for chapter 105?
Comment Written 05-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2020
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Thanks, Pam. A Happy New Year to you, too. Glad you?re still enjoying the story.
Chapter 105 is promoted on listing for one more day, and Chapter 106 will be posted within a day or two.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Seems to be a bit of aggro between Charles & Bisto and Ash, too many male egos in the pot perhaps.
Charles still doesn't seem to know whether to trust Kayla or not, but has to for Helen's sake. Good dialogue taking this story forward, good chapter Tony
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Seems to be a bit of aggro between Charles & Bisto and Ash, too many male egos in the pot perhaps.
Charles still doesn't seem to know whether to trust Kayla or not, but has to for Helen's sake. Good dialogue taking this story forward, good chapter Tony
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 05-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thanks, Valda. I appreciate your comments about the dialogue and characterisation. All good wishes for a happy New Year, Tony
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Tony. I haven't read a chapter in your story for quite some time. It's hard to tap in randomly. Nevertheless, your writing is always excellent. Clear, detailed and well constructed. Great word combinations like this one that I thought was particularly good:
"Pray?" She spat the word out like a hot chilli."
and this visual:
"A fresh wind had sprung up causing the loose-fitting trousers of Kayla's salwar kameez to flap against her legs."
I particularly liked the sequence of the pilot trying to land the plane in the stiff winds. Great job there.
Marilyn
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Hi Tony. I haven't read a chapter in your story for quite some time. It's hard to tap in randomly. Nevertheless, your writing is always excellent. Clear, detailed and well constructed. Great word combinations like this one that I thought was particularly good:
"Pray?" She spat the word out like a hot chilli."
and this visual:
"A fresh wind had sprung up causing the loose-fitting trousers of Kayla's salwar kameez to flap against her legs."
I particularly liked the sequence of the pilot trying to land the plane in the stiff winds. Great job there.
Marilyn
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Many thanks for reviewing this chapter, Marilyn, and for your supportive comments. Wishing you a very happy and fulfilling New Year. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A good chapter, Tony, that furthers
the plan to get to Helen.
-But it doesn't seem it is going to be as
easy as the three compatriots would like.
-The beginning with the chickens adds
a bit of levity and comes in handy during the chapter.
-Charles tries to calm the other two with the comment
about Ash arriving and having news for them, but that
wasn't what they expected, either.
-It all leads to a lot of speculation on their part,
especially Charles and his distrust of Jeanne,
and her hold over Helen and Kayla.
-The description of the plane, and
the cockroach comment are very good!
-They don't intend to let Ash just
run the ship if they can help it!
-You certainly leave us wondering at the end!
-One thing that comes to my mind is
Kayla always seems to want to placate everyone,
and it makes me wonder what side she is on.
-Or is she just a bit clueless, or does she just like
"playing both sides against the middle,"
as they say! I tend to go with the third option.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2019
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-A good chapter, Tony, that furthers
the plan to get to Helen.
-But it doesn't seem it is going to be as
easy as the three compatriots would like.
-The beginning with the chickens adds
a bit of levity and comes in handy during the chapter.
-Charles tries to calm the other two with the comment
about Ash arriving and having news for them, but that
wasn't what they expected, either.
-It all leads to a lot of speculation on their part,
especially Charles and his distrust of Jeanne,
and her hold over Helen and Kayla.
-The description of the plane, and
the cockroach comment are very good!
-They don't intend to let Ash just
run the ship if they can help it!
-You certainly leave us wondering at the end!
-One thing that comes to my mind is
Kayla always seems to want to placate everyone,
and it makes me wonder what side she is on.
-Or is she just a bit clueless, or does she just like
"playing both sides against the middle,"
as they say! I tend to go with the third option.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Pam, for your detailed comments and especially those about Kayla. I think I may have to draw up character maps for her and for Helen. I have a feeling that they both need more consistency more differentiation. Thanks, too, for the sixth star.
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You are very welcome for the stars and comments, Tony. I think you might be right about Helen and Kayla. They were very different in the beginning, but now that you mention it, the motives of Kayla are a bit unclear, and of course, Helen can't do anything at the moment. That is going to be hard getting her out of that situation. Then, there's Jeanne to fit in. Aren't you glad you mentioned it:)
Comment from w.j.debi
Little snags and delays add to the tension, as do the conflicts between the characters. I loved the comment about the two men being looked at like they were cockroaches in a manner that irritated them both and put them on the defensive. Of course, Kayla tries to smooth it all over, no big deal, etc. Now we have to wait for the rescuers to get to Helen in time.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2019
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Little snags and delays add to the tension, as do the conflicts between the characters. I loved the comment about the two men being looked at like they were cockroaches in a manner that irritated them both and put them on the defensive. Of course, Kayla tries to smooth it all over, no big deal, etc. Now we have to wait for the rescuers to get to Helen in time.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2019
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Thanks very much for your comments, Debi. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Best wishes for Christmas and the New Year.
Comment from JudyE
I didn't pick up any discrepancies here either. There are a lot of questions floating in the air which is a good thing in a mystery.
The 'lovely lady, by all accounts' in the following: '"It's about a mile south of Bumburet," I said. "Helen and I were on our way there when the border police swooped down on us. A lovely lady, by all accounts."' seems to be a bit distant from the previous mention of Helen's and Kayla's aunt. I had to do a bit of thinking about who the 'lovely lady' was. But maybe I just need to keep up with the plot a bit better.
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2019
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I didn't pick up any discrepancies here either. There are a lot of questions floating in the air which is a good thing in a mystery.
The 'lovely lady, by all accounts' in the following: '"It's about a mile south of Bumburet," I said. "Helen and I were on our way there when the border police swooped down on us. A lovely lady, by all accounts."' seems to be a bit distant from the previous mention of Helen's and Kayla's aunt. I had to do a bit of thinking about who the 'lovely lady' was. But maybe I just need to keep up with the plot a bit better.
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 23-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2019
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Thanks for that comment about the 'lovely lady', Judy. Another reviewer also mentioned this. It looks as if a minor rewrite is in order.
Comment from lauralumummu
This is so exciting I really wish it was a movie or I could read the whole book. You continue to amaze me. When the book is published let me know I need to read it! All the best, Laura.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2019
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This is so exciting I really wish it was a movie or I could read the whole book. You continue to amaze me. When the book is published let me know I need to read it! All the best, Laura.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2019
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Hi, Laura. Very many thanks for your encouraging words and the six stars. I?m hoping to get the book published later next year. There?s going to have to be a fairly rigorous structural edit first.
Wishing you a very happy Christmas. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Bill Pinder
Another enjoyable chapter in your book. I like the bickering between the characters as each one is having to speak up for himself in dealing with a tense situation. Have a great Christmas and new year!
Bill
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2019
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Another enjoyable chapter in your book. I like the bickering between the characters as each one is having to speak up for himself in dealing with a tense situation. Have a great Christmas and new year!
Bill
Comment Written 22-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2019
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The same to you, Bill - a splendid Christmas and New Year. I appreciate your continued interest in my story. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I want to know what Ash as to say. I would NOT have traveled with him for over an hour and not got information. I think they would have immediately gotten the information, especially when Helen is involved.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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I want to know what Ash as to say. I would NOT have traveled with him for over an hour and not got information. I think they would have immediately gotten the information, especially when Helen is involved.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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Yes, I think you're right. He obviously has something that he wants to share with Kayla that he doesn't want the others to hear.
Comment from lyenochka
It's good that they have Ash with them and good that Charles and Ian didn't let Ash go off with Kayla. Hopefully, they can get through all the checkpoints. I liked your plane flight description. I hear travel there is like that.
One comment:
"swooped down on us. A lovely lady, by all accounts." (I think their aunt was the "lovely lady" but since the statement is right after the police swooping, it's a little confusing.)
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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It's good that they have Ash with them and good that Charles and Ian didn't let Ash go off with Kayla. Hopefully, they can get through all the checkpoints. I liked your plane flight description. I hear travel there is like that.
One comment:
"swooped down on us. A lovely lady, by all accounts." (I think their aunt was the "lovely lady" but since the statement is right after the police swooping, it's a little confusing.)
Comment Written 20-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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Thanks for your review, Helen, also for your suggestion. Appreciated, as always. Wishing you a very happy Christmas. All the best, Tony
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Thank you, Tony! Merry Christmas to you and yours!