Saved by the Bell
true storm story11 total reviews
Comment from Alchera
A real story, incessant and overwhelming from heart-pounding as it drags you in the midst of the looming storm and involves you with it and all people involved. Beautiful, heartfelt, and well described despite the immense fear that it has transmitted to us in the rapt reading of the succession of events. Great entry contest!
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
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A real story, incessant and overwhelming from heart-pounding as it drags you in the midst of the looming storm and involves you with it and all people involved. Beautiful, heartfelt, and well described despite the immense fear that it has transmitted to us in the rapt reading of the succession of events. Great entry contest!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much Mr. Tony for the great review.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I like how you wove great humor in throughout the whole account. I loke the images you create with your descriptions. This draws the reader in. This is a more common scenerio than we would like to think. Someone sees clearly about a situation and the others are so taken up with their own personal issues they are unable to see the problem at hand. Good plot development.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
|
I like how you wove great humor in throughout the whole account. I loke the images you create with your descriptions. This draws the reader in. This is a more common scenerio than we would like to think. Someone sees clearly about a situation and the others are so taken up with their own personal issues they are unable to see the problem at hand. Good plot development.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for this wonderful and encouraging review
Comment from DeboraDyess
Hello!
If I may:
with lighting and thunder, >> with lightening and thunder,
we had a conversation what to do in case of Tornado. I ace it: >> we had a conversation about what to do in case of a tornado. I aced it:
we had some maps with where you can seek shelter. ?>>we had some maps with places marked where you could seek shelter.
Nobody thought that we will need to discuss >> Nobody thought that we would need to discuss
I took my eyes out of the >> Not sure about the term. Might be correct in Canada. here, we say 'off of the computer...
computer and mesmerized I gasped:>> computer and, mesmerized, I gasped.
on the horizon a black >> On the horizon, a black cloud was eating all the white ones >> GREAT imagry
and was coming towards our building breathing fire and pouring rain. >> and was coming towards our building, breathing fire and pouring rain
like there is no tomorrow. >> like there was no tomorrow
and waves my hands >> and waved my hands
Let's talk to John; he is our safety >> Let's talk to John, he is our safety
Why are you so scared, it's just a storm with thunder and lighting? >> Why are you so scared? It's just a storm with thunder and lightening.
unplug the electrical outlets >> The outlets are the place where electronics are plugged in. cannot unplug the outlet, only the electronics. :)
open, again in case of fire is easier for the firefighters to >> open. Again, in case of fire it is easier for the firefighters to
the windows and has as less glass as possible? >> as little glass as possible
romantic candle burning of my boxes with records. >> romantic candle burning up my boxes of records. (or 'boxes filled with records)
With my heart being on the street I would probably ... die. >> Iza, I'm not sure what you mean here. Are you saying that if you were on the street? Saying 'my heart' doesn't work well in English.
Usually, dialogue is in double quotes ("). Makes it easier than the dashes. :)
What a frightening story! I know it was real -- yikes.
Be blessed,
Deb
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
 |
Hello!
If I may:
with lighting and thunder, >> with lightening and thunder,
we had a conversation what to do in case of Tornado. I ace it: >> we had a conversation about what to do in case of a tornado. I aced it:
we had some maps with where you can seek shelter. ?>>we had some maps with places marked where you could seek shelter.
Nobody thought that we will need to discuss >> Nobody thought that we would need to discuss
I took my eyes out of the >> Not sure about the term. Might be correct in Canada. here, we say 'off of the computer...
computer and mesmerized I gasped:>> computer and, mesmerized, I gasped.
on the horizon a black >> On the horizon, a black cloud was eating all the white ones >> GREAT imagry
and was coming towards our building breathing fire and pouring rain. >> and was coming towards our building, breathing fire and pouring rain
like there is no tomorrow. >> like there was no tomorrow
and waves my hands >> and waved my hands
Let's talk to John; he is our safety >> Let's talk to John, he is our safety
Why are you so scared, it's just a storm with thunder and lighting? >> Why are you so scared? It's just a storm with thunder and lightening.
unplug the electrical outlets >> The outlets are the place where electronics are plugged in. cannot unplug the outlet, only the electronics. :)
open, again in case of fire is easier for the firefighters to >> open. Again, in case of fire it is easier for the firefighters to
the windows and has as less glass as possible? >> as little glass as possible
romantic candle burning of my boxes with records. >> romantic candle burning up my boxes of records. (or 'boxes filled with records)
With my heart being on the street I would probably ... die. >> Iza, I'm not sure what you mean here. Are you saying that if you were on the street? Saying 'my heart' doesn't work well in English.
Usually, dialogue is in double quotes ("). Makes it easier than the dashes. :)
What a frightening story! I know it was real -- yikes.
Be blessed,
Deb
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Deb thank you so much for the corrections, and I hate the quotations marks:) we use dashes in my part of the world.
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Deb thank you so much for the corrections, and I hate the quotations marks:) we use dashes in my part of the world.
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Oh, how interesting! Okay ? I won't comment on that again, then. You're doing it right and, to you, we're the weird ones! lol
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No, I never said:) you are untitled to your opinion:) so no worries.
Comment from Tsukuyomi969
This must have been a terrifying situation to go through, especially with Mr. Nonchalance John. I thought it was well written, and loved that you kept your sense of humor.
But I was a little confused by the ending. I'm not familiar with what the "holy bell" is, and the last sentence with your heart on the street was also a little puzzling. Overall though, it was good. Good luck in the contest. Cheers.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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This must have been a terrifying situation to go through, especially with Mr. Nonchalance John. I thought it was well written, and loved that you kept your sense of humor.
But I was a little confused by the ending. I'm not familiar with what the "holy bell" is, and the last sentence with your heart on the street was also a little puzzling. Overall though, it was good. Good luck in the contest. Cheers.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Holy Bell was the alarm that gave us sometime to prepare for the storm. And that part about the heart, was that I have a weak heart and being of the street alone could've gave me a heart attack. Thank you so much for reviewing.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I lived through a few occasions like that here in Oklahoma. You did a good job but I did find a couple of things for you to look at. Good luck in the contest. Shirley
I ace(aced) it
With my heart being on the street I would probably ... die. This is your last line and it is not clear to me what you are meaning. What has your heart being on the street have to do with dying?
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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I lived through a few occasions like that here in Oklahoma. You did a good job but I did find a couple of things for you to look at. Good luck in the contest. Shirley
I ace(aced) it
With my heart being on the street I would probably ... die. This is your last line and it is not clear to me what you are meaning. What has your heart being on the street have to do with dying?
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for this gracious review.
Comment from sherrygreywolf
Though the idea behind the story line seems good, there are some things that need correcting.
First, I found the excessive use of bolding, capitalization and quotes distracting and felt it failed to add to the story.
"I am not a fan of (the) storms," - "the" is unnecessary.
"locked up in a strom (storm) on the 15th floor"
"what to do in case of Tornado" - no need to capitalize tornado
"less and less approachable" I'm not sure this is the best way to describe the lessening level of natural light.
"- Annie, what the hell do we do? Look what's coming our way. She didn't hear me and continue to work like there is no tomorrow. I went closer to her desk and waves my hands in front of her. She jumped:" There is nothing to delineate where your protagonist stops speaking since you failed to use quotation marks.
You didn't mention that the electricity went off but all the sudden John is talking about it being "too dark". When did the lights go out?
Also, as safety warden, shouldn't John have a flash light in his desk (part of being prepared) and know where the "safe room" is?
" the last thing I want to see is a romantic candle burning of my boxes with records." - Sorry, but this line was just confusing to me.
On the plus side - I loved your use of descriptors! Examples I thought were good, include:
"the whole orchestra" (speaking of the storm - wonderful!)
"on the horizon a black cloud was eating all the white ones and was coming towards our building breathing fire and pouring rain." (This whole line is awesome)
If you do a rewrite, please let me know and I will be happy to reread and update this review. Stay safe & healthy.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
|
Though the idea behind the story line seems good, there are some things that need correcting.
First, I found the excessive use of bolding, capitalization and quotes distracting and felt it failed to add to the story.
"I am not a fan of (the) storms," - "the" is unnecessary.
"locked up in a strom (storm) on the 15th floor"
"what to do in case of Tornado" - no need to capitalize tornado
"less and less approachable" I'm not sure this is the best way to describe the lessening level of natural light.
"- Annie, what the hell do we do? Look what's coming our way. She didn't hear me and continue to work like there is no tomorrow. I went closer to her desk and waves my hands in front of her. She jumped:" There is nothing to delineate where your protagonist stops speaking since you failed to use quotation marks.
You didn't mention that the electricity went off but all the sudden John is talking about it being "too dark". When did the lights go out?
Also, as safety warden, shouldn't John have a flash light in his desk (part of being prepared) and know where the "safe room" is?
" the last thing I want to see is a romantic candle burning of my boxes with records." - Sorry, but this line was just confusing to me.
On the plus side - I loved your use of descriptors! Examples I thought were good, include:
"the whole orchestra" (speaking of the storm - wonderful!)
"on the horizon a black cloud was eating all the white ones and was coming towards our building breathing fire and pouring rain." (This whole line is awesome)
If you do a rewrite, please let me know and I will be happy to reread and update this review. Stay safe & healthy.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for your kind review and for pointing out my weak points.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
I applaud you for entering this contest on storms. It's hard to put into words how storms can make you feel - taking all your bravery and tossing it in your face. *smile* If you weren't raised understanding how to deal with storms like these, I imagine it would be really horrifying.
But, I have to tell you honestly, that your story didn't make a lot of sense. (Sorry!) NONE of this is what people should be doing in the middle of a potential tornado. (On the other hand, only this one lady said she thought it was a tornado and then it never seems to have appeared. ??) It sounds like the only thing they actually dealt with was rain and thunder and lightning.
Other notes:
1.) Rain is (okay), but cold rain combined with light(n)ing and thunder, no, (s)ir, that is not on my "(playlist)."
--> she's inside - how would she know if the rain is cold or not?
2.) safety meeting we had a conversation (on) what to do in case of (a) (t)ornado.
3.) then I went with the usual, seek shelter in a barn or we had some maps with where you can seek shelter.
--> barns would not be a good place to hunker down. You need to be in the smallest, safest room in the very center of your house (a brick one, if possible) and away from all windows. The best places are underneath the stairs or in a central bathroom. In the case of a bathroom, you climb in the tub (if there is one) and cover yourself with pillows and blankets.
--> A barn is made of WOOD and just a tall open structure. It has NO safety features whatsoever.
--> or (check a map for local storm shelters.)
4.) Nobody thought that we will need to discuss what to do when a bad-ass storm is coming,
--> Nobody thought (we needed) to discuss what to do when a bad-ass storm is coming,
--> see point #2, where you specifically said you were trained on what to do in the case of tornadoes - this is contradictory
5.) "(delete extra space) Luckily(,)" I got stuck with some (project) managers (who) were trained for situations like this.
6.) Trust me, locked up (during) a (storm) on the 15th floor is not (as) easy as it seems.
--> why does it sound 'easy'? that doesn't make sense
--> They should be on the lowest floor in a central space
7.) I took my eyes out of the computer and mesmerized I gasped:
--> that sounds VERY PAINFUL -- haha
--> I took my eyes (off) of the computer and(,) mesmerized(,) I gasped:
8.) - Annie, what the hell do we do? Look what's coming our way. She didn't hear me and continue to work like there is no tomorrow. I went closer to her desk and waves my hands in front of her. She jumped:
--> I don't understand the formatting of this conversation. Why the hyphens instead of quote marks? Also, it's hard to tell where the dialogue ends and the narrative begins - suggest:
--> (")Annie, what the hell do we do? Look what's coming our way(!") She didn't hear me and continue(d) to work like there (was) no tomorrow. I went closer to her desk and wave(d) my hands in front of her. She jumped:
9.) Need to change all of the conversation to normal formatting, please
10.) - I think (this) is the mother of all storms, so what do we do?
11.) I remember that is not safe to take the elevator and the last thing
--> you said there is no electricity
12.) - Why are you so scared, it's just a storm with thunder and light(n)ing?
13.) (Okay. Calm down(. L)et's apply the safety protocols.
14.) Let's divide this floor and each of you (unplug) all the electrical (devices) and computers that you can find. We want to avoid an electrical surge that will cause (a) fire. Also make sure that all the doors (to) the offices are open, again in case of fire(, so it would be) easier for the firefighters to identify potential victims.
--> This is horrible advice. First of all, this is the 21st century and every plug has surge protectors - that might have been an issue in the past, but not anymore. Also, they are wasting precious time. They should be slowly and methodically moving down the stairs to the bottom of the building.
--> potential victims of WHAT? If it's truly a tornado, the likelihood is that the whole top of the building will be blown away OR people will be hurt by flying glass and debris. I also thought almost everyone had gone home? So confused.
15.) Super, the last thing I want to see is a romantic candle burning (on?) my boxes with records.
16.) rained stopped and only light(n)ing was brazing the horizon.
--> what is 'brazing'?
17.) I guess I was saved by the holy bell that day.
--> what bell?
18.) With my heart being on the street I would probably ... die.
--> didn't understand this sentence
So sorry if this review sounds mean or hateful or unkind. But it sounds to me like you are writing about an unfamiliar topic and without doing any research whatsoever beforehand.
I think this story is redeemable, but you will have to change a LOT of the information -
Thanks for sharing and good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
|
Dear Mystery Writer,
I applaud you for entering this contest on storms. It's hard to put into words how storms can make you feel - taking all your bravery and tossing it in your face. *smile* If you weren't raised understanding how to deal with storms like these, I imagine it would be really horrifying.
But, I have to tell you honestly, that your story didn't make a lot of sense. (Sorry!) NONE of this is what people should be doing in the middle of a potential tornado. (On the other hand, only this one lady said she thought it was a tornado and then it never seems to have appeared. ??) It sounds like the only thing they actually dealt with was rain and thunder and lightning.
Other notes:
1.) Rain is (okay), but cold rain combined with light(n)ing and thunder, no, (s)ir, that is not on my "(playlist)."
--> she's inside - how would she know if the rain is cold or not?
2.) safety meeting we had a conversation (on) what to do in case of (a) (t)ornado.
3.) then I went with the usual, seek shelter in a barn or we had some maps with where you can seek shelter.
--> barns would not be a good place to hunker down. You need to be in the smallest, safest room in the very center of your house (a brick one, if possible) and away from all windows. The best places are underneath the stairs or in a central bathroom. In the case of a bathroom, you climb in the tub (if there is one) and cover yourself with pillows and blankets.
--> A barn is made of WOOD and just a tall open structure. It has NO safety features whatsoever.
--> or (check a map for local storm shelters.)
4.) Nobody thought that we will need to discuss what to do when a bad-ass storm is coming,
--> Nobody thought (we needed) to discuss what to do when a bad-ass storm is coming,
--> see point #2, where you specifically said you were trained on what to do in the case of tornadoes - this is contradictory
5.) "(delete extra space) Luckily(,)" I got stuck with some (project) managers (who) were trained for situations like this.
6.) Trust me, locked up (during) a (storm) on the 15th floor is not (as) easy as it seems.
--> why does it sound 'easy'? that doesn't make sense
--> They should be on the lowest floor in a central space
7.) I took my eyes out of the computer and mesmerized I gasped:
--> that sounds VERY PAINFUL -- haha
--> I took my eyes (off) of the computer and(,) mesmerized(,) I gasped:
8.) - Annie, what the hell do we do? Look what's coming our way. She didn't hear me and continue to work like there is no tomorrow. I went closer to her desk and waves my hands in front of her. She jumped:
--> I don't understand the formatting of this conversation. Why the hyphens instead of quote marks? Also, it's hard to tell where the dialogue ends and the narrative begins - suggest:
--> (")Annie, what the hell do we do? Look what's coming our way(!") She didn't hear me and continue(d) to work like there (was) no tomorrow. I went closer to her desk and wave(d) my hands in front of her. She jumped:
9.) Need to change all of the conversation to normal formatting, please
10.) - I think (this) is the mother of all storms, so what do we do?
11.) I remember that is not safe to take the elevator and the last thing
--> you said there is no electricity
12.) - Why are you so scared, it's just a storm with thunder and light(n)ing?
13.) (Okay. Calm down(. L)et's apply the safety protocols.
14.) Let's divide this floor and each of you (unplug) all the electrical (devices) and computers that you can find. We want to avoid an electrical surge that will cause (a) fire. Also make sure that all the doors (to) the offices are open, again in case of fire(, so it would be) easier for the firefighters to identify potential victims.
--> This is horrible advice. First of all, this is the 21st century and every plug has surge protectors - that might have been an issue in the past, but not anymore. Also, they are wasting precious time. They should be slowly and methodically moving down the stairs to the bottom of the building.
--> potential victims of WHAT? If it's truly a tornado, the likelihood is that the whole top of the building will be blown away OR people will be hurt by flying glass and debris. I also thought almost everyone had gone home? So confused.
15.) Super, the last thing I want to see is a romantic candle burning (on?) my boxes with records.
16.) rained stopped and only light(n)ing was brazing the horizon.
--> what is 'brazing'?
17.) I guess I was saved by the holy bell that day.
--> what bell?
18.) With my heart being on the street I would probably ... die.
--> didn't understand this sentence
So sorry if this review sounds mean or hateful or unkind. But it sounds to me like you are writing about an unfamiliar topic and without doing any research whatsoever beforehand.
I think this story is redeemable, but you will have to change a LOT of the information -
Thanks for sharing and good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
-
Hi Robin, thank you for your honesty:) I was describing a storm and not a tornado:) I said it looks like a tornado.
Comment from CHANYA MASHENGU
Main Menu
MySocialCommunity Read Write Contests (1 New) 3.85
No Replies No Reviews No Messages
FanStory.com
Reading Up Next: Skip This One
General Non-Fiction posted June 4, 2020
true storm story
Saved by the Bell
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
I must admit I am not a fan of the storms, and when they come with the whole orchestra it scares the shit out of me. Rain is ok, but cold rain combined with lighting and thunder, no, Sir, that is not on my "play list."
As a child I used to hide under the table. As an adult, I am practicing the safe distancing from any windows and electrical outlets. In the summer of 2013 I witnessed my first super scary and destructive storm since my arrival in Canada.
I was working for an oil and gas company and my working unit was hosted on the 15th floor. Safety, for our company, was a very serious thing. Coincidence or not, that morning during our mandatory safety meeting we had a conversation what to do in case of Tornado. I ace it: I know that if you are caught in an open field you should hide in a ditch, and then I went with the usual, seek shelter in a barn or we had some maps with where you can seek shelter.
Nobody thought that we will need to discuss what to do when a bad-ass storm is coming, and you are stuck in the office with no electricity. " Luckily" I got stuck with some projects managers that were trained for situations like this. Trust me, locked up in a storm on the 15th floor is not easy as it seems. Our building had 25 floors and it was all freaking windows. But here is my story.
It was 5 pm and most of my co workers were already home. I stayed later, because I wanted to finish a project. As I was writing my documentation, suddenly I felt very chilly and that the natural light that I was using was less and less "approachable". Then the emergency alarm from my phone start shouting : Severe Storm approaching Alberta. I took my eyes out of the computer and mesmerized I gasped: on the horizon a black cloud was eating all the white ones and was coming towards our building breathing fire and pouring rain. Helpless, I stood up and ran to the next cubicle where Annie from the Innovation Department was working. I screamed:
- Annie, what the hell do we do? Look what's coming our way. She didn't hear me and continue to work like there is no tomorrow. I went closer to her desk and waves my hands in front of her. She jumped:
- What the heck are you doing?
- Me? Nothing! Look outside!
- Holy macaroni, what is that?
- I think is the mother of all storms, so what do we do? I remember that is not safe to take the elevator and the last thing I want is to free fall into the basement.
- Let's talk to John, he is our safety warden and I think I just saw him passing by a couple of minutes ago.
We went to John and one look at me and he started laughing like crazy. I was trembling like a leaf in the middle of the winter.
- Why are you so scared, it's just a storm with thunder and lighting?
- Just a storm, this it's a freaking Tornado. Do you know how it feels to be up in the air in the middle of an Apocalypse? Can you feel how the building is shaking and trembling with each thunder scream?
- Relax, this building is on wheels, nothing is going to happen?
- Ha? On wheels? You mean we might end up in River Valley? Sure, I like the view, but too much water is not good for my health.
- No! What I am trying to say is that it will adjust no matter the shifting. O.K. Calm down let's apply the safety protocols. Let's divide this floor and each of you unplugged all the electrical outlets and computers that you can find. We want to avoid an electrical surge that will cause fire. Also make sure that all the doors from the offices are open, again in case of fire is easier for the fire fighters to identify potential victims. I will go to scout out a flashlight from our materials management room. It's too dark for you guys to go, so after you're done your tasks let's meet back here ASAP.
Annie and I did what we were told, and then came back in front of his office.
John returned and said:
- I don't want you to panic, but we have no phones and no signal for our mobiles. The infrastructure is down. I am going to ask you both a question and I want you to think. Have you seen any office that is far away from the windows and has as less glass as possible?
- Yup, my records room, is exactly like a bunker. But is very dark in there.
- No worries, we got this, and he showed me the flash light.
- Super, the last thing I want to see is a romantic candle burning of my boxes with records.
We went into that room and waited for two hours. Finally, the rained stopped and only lighting was brazing the horizon. I was too scared to take the bus, so Annie offered me a ride. The next day we found out that our office in Calgary was flooded as well as some other important parts of the downtown. I guess I was saved by the holy bell that day. With my heart being on the street I would probably ... die.
Check out few corrections made.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
|
Main Menu
MySocialCommunity Read Write Contests (1 New) 3.85
No Replies No Reviews No Messages
FanStory.com
Reading Up Next: Skip This One
General Non-Fiction posted June 4, 2020
true storm story
Saved by the Bell
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
I must admit I am not a fan of the storms, and when they come with the whole orchestra it scares the shit out of me. Rain is ok, but cold rain combined with lighting and thunder, no, Sir, that is not on my "play list."
As a child I used to hide under the table. As an adult, I am practicing the safe distancing from any windows and electrical outlets. In the summer of 2013 I witnessed my first super scary and destructive storm since my arrival in Canada.
I was working for an oil and gas company and my working unit was hosted on the 15th floor. Safety, for our company, was a very serious thing. Coincidence or not, that morning during our mandatory safety meeting we had a conversation what to do in case of Tornado. I ace it: I know that if you are caught in an open field you should hide in a ditch, and then I went with the usual, seek shelter in a barn or we had some maps with where you can seek shelter.
Nobody thought that we will need to discuss what to do when a bad-ass storm is coming, and you are stuck in the office with no electricity. " Luckily" I got stuck with some projects managers that were trained for situations like this. Trust me, locked up in a storm on the 15th floor is not easy as it seems. Our building had 25 floors and it was all freaking windows. But here is my story.
It was 5 pm and most of my co workers were already home. I stayed later, because I wanted to finish a project. As I was writing my documentation, suddenly I felt very chilly and that the natural light that I was using was less and less "approachable". Then the emergency alarm from my phone start shouting : Severe Storm approaching Alberta. I took my eyes out of the computer and mesmerized I gasped: on the horizon a black cloud was eating all the white ones and was coming towards our building breathing fire and pouring rain. Helpless, I stood up and ran to the next cubicle where Annie from the Innovation Department was working. I screamed:
- Annie, what the hell do we do? Look what's coming our way. She didn't hear me and continue to work like there is no tomorrow. I went closer to her desk and waves my hands in front of her. She jumped:
- What the heck are you doing?
- Me? Nothing! Look outside!
- Holy macaroni, what is that?
- I think is the mother of all storms, so what do we do? I remember that is not safe to take the elevator and the last thing I want is to free fall into the basement.
- Let's talk to John, he is our safety warden and I think I just saw him passing by a couple of minutes ago.
We went to John and one look at me and he started laughing like crazy. I was trembling like a leaf in the middle of the winter.
- Why are you so scared, it's just a storm with thunder and lighting?
- Just a storm, this it's a freaking Tornado. Do you know how it feels to be up in the air in the middle of an Apocalypse? Can you feel how the building is shaking and trembling with each thunder scream?
- Relax, this building is on wheels, nothing is going to happen?
- Ha? On wheels? You mean we might end up in River Valley? Sure, I like the view, but too much water is not good for my health.
- No! What I am trying to say is that it will adjust no matter the shifting. O.K. Calm down let's apply the safety protocols. Let's divide this floor and each of you unplugged all the electrical outlets and computers that you can find. We want to avoid an electrical surge that will cause fire. Also make sure that all the doors from the offices are open, again in case of fire is easier for the fire fighters to identify potential victims. I will go to scout out a flashlight from our materials management room. It's too dark for you guys to go, so after you're done your tasks let's meet back here ASAP.
Annie and I did what we were told, and then came back in front of his office.
John returned and said:
- I don't want you to panic, but we have no phones and no signal for our mobiles. The infrastructure is down. I am going to ask you both a question and I want you to think. Have you seen any office that is far away from the windows and has as less glass as possible?
- Yup, my records room, is exactly like a bunker. But is very dark in there.
- No worries, we got this, and he showed me the flash light.
- Super, the last thing I want to see is a romantic candle burning of my boxes with records.
We went into that room and waited for two hours. Finally, the rained stopped and only lighting was brazing the horizon. I was too scared to take the bus, so Annie offered me a ride. The next day we found out that our office in Calgary was flooded as well as some other important parts of the downtown. I guess I was saved by the holy bell that day. With my heart being on the street I would probably ... die.
Check out few corrections made.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you
Comment from Karl Speth
WOW! Such a survival story. Storms can be scary, especially for the unprepared. And your advice to duck into a bunker, crevice or any hole you can fit into during a tornado is a good one.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2020
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WOW! Such a survival story. Storms can be scary, especially for the unprepared. And your advice to duck into a bunker, crevice or any hole you can fit into during a tornado is a good one.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2020
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Yup, this is a true story and the info for the Tornado came from our field inspectors who were well trained in that area.
Comment from roof35
This story is interesting. You do have several errors in the tense of words. Example: waves hands should be waved hands. There are three of four other errors. I know it is easy to have typos. Perhaps you could try editing your stories with a "cold eye." In other words, wait a day or two and read through it again. Otherwise, this is good. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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This story is interesting. You do have several errors in the tense of words. Example: waves hands should be waved hands. There are three of four other errors. I know it is easy to have typos. Perhaps you could try editing your stories with a "cold eye." In other words, wait a day or two and read through it again. Otherwise, this is good. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for your review and for pointing out my grammar mistakes:)