Humor Fiction posted November 15, 2024 Chapters:  ...39 40 -69- 


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Sorry I'm Late

A chapter in the book Detour

Conventionally Yours

by Karen Cherry Threadgill




Background
Gretchen and Rachel finally arrived at the convention . Weird stuff happened. Marilyn and I arrive to a food fight.
 
 

Stranded out in the middle of absolutely nowhere, with no hope to be had, I was crying like I had lost my dog, when Marilyn and I heard a rumbling. We saw cattle, and horses with riders! We are saved, at least I hope so. 

 

Zelda Strindmeyer saved our trip. She had seen a young calf skedaddle in our direction.  She had a face that should be sculpted in clay. She was at least 70 if she was a day ample but firm. As she slid down her horse " Attila". She said, "Cell phones don't work out here, but that she would use her satellite phone to get us picked up, and her guys would see what the problem was and we could go up to the house."

 

There should be another name for her house. She had no idea how many rooms it had, but looked like the senior class at my high school could move in with room to spare. 

 

She said, "The bigger the spread got, the more people they needed, and since everyone needed housing, they just kept adding on." They fed us, watered us, and told us all kinds of stories, some true, and, I expect some not. Our mood was vastly improved. I imagine we will write some of these up.

 

It was the water pump, after all. She wouldn't accept money; she said,"She didn't need it, but since we were writers, we could earn our supper by telling them some new stories."

 

Marilyn and I pulled out our computers and kept them entertained all night. We were a big hit. Rusty gave me some long looks. I wonder if he is near-sighted.

 

They asked us to stay a while, but we had places to be. But we said, "We might stop back on our way home." They promised us all the ribs and BBQ corn we could eat if we did.

 

We left in the morning happy, well fed, and with good directions and pointed in the right direction. I even let Marilyn drive.

 

When we got to the convention. We tidied up and went down to the banquet hall. We both felt a sizzling go up and down our bodies. We both looked and felt 45! Our boobs were back to sitting up,  we looked and felt our very best. I was back to 115 lbs and I was in my contacts, my face was all made up, and my dress was plastered on me. Marilyn said, "She doesn't know what this is, but it is not going to last, and it is not really real, so she is going to have fun."

 

I said, "Me too!"  I saw Ric my World on the stage. He looks just like his picture. We knew everyone, it was amazing.  Lancelot and Jim Wilie were chunking fruit salad at each other and  Gretchen was hiding under the big table eating deviled eggs.

 

Barbara Wilkey and Beth Shelby were  at a card table writing furiously and laughing.

 

Helen and Carol(BeginAgain) were trying to mop up Debi Maquette , it looks like she got the worst of the "Pistachio Surprise". Carol's hair is glorious. I thought with her screen name Helen would look more Russian. 

 

Ric saw me, jumped down off the stage, and came and planted a good one on me. He said, "You cleaned up real nice.

I said, "You are no slouch either." 

He said, "Everyone looks no more than 45.

 

 Everyone was rushing at us. Marilyn said, "I am going to have a talk with Douglas about tree frogs."

 

I asked Ric how long he thought this would last? He said, "I don't know but I have ideas about you, will we remember when this ends?" 

"I don't know. If we leave the room will we turn back into old farts," I asked?

 

I said, "Look, GoWisit and Neonewman are getting off the elevator, they look the same. Look at the other elevator , Boy those guys look great. F. William Lester, Jesse, and Esostine look so young. Everyone is healthy."

 

Ric said, " I am going to dance with you before you are overrun with new guys."

We danced three songs before we were pounced on.  Karenia grabbed him and Jim Vecchio grabbed me. I danced with Wayne Fowler, Roy Owen, and Simian. He has flaming red hair by the way.

 

After Ric finished dancing with Carol Hillbrenner, BrendaStrauser, and Pam Lonsdale, we went to see if there were any ribs left.

 

Everyone is so youthful and gorgeous. Tempest is nearly as little as me. And Sanku said,"If she knew this would happen she would have arrived sooner."

 

Pam Lonsdale was laughing so hard she was crying, she pointed at the dance floor. Pateclaw and "TOM" were trying to outdo Dolly and Bill Shott on swing dancing.  I looked at Ric, he looked at me, and off we went.  I don't remember ever having so much fun.

 

Tom Horonzy paired up with Pam Respa, And Tom Botts paired up with Debbi Darcy. For a bunch of old farts we weren't half bad.   We went back to the table and Rachel was still picking bits of egg salad out of her hair. Jane had been whisked off to the hoosegow, it seems she had quite the record for being a public nuisance, Gretchen was talking to Mz. Stoner-Mitchell about plot twists in children's stories.

 

We all met up around noon the next day and went to the Boardwalk to play games and  ride the ferris wheel.  Rachel wanted to buy salt water taffy, but Gretchen reminded her that tomorrow she would not be able to eat it. We all figured out that  tomorrow morning we would be back to normal. Ric and I excused ourselves. He said, "I sure would like to be with you."

 

I asked, " Do you still think we will even remember it?"

"It will be tattooed on our hearts," he said. What a good talker he is.  In fact, he was rather good at everything.

 

I am writing this now in case it disappears with the dawn.  I am in my room now. We did not want our memories marred by us watching each other's transformation.

 

Sign me up for next year! 


 

 



Recognized


Picture from Pinterest, I humbly apologize for those of you at the party I did not meet. Maybe we will see each other next year.
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