Awaiting a Kiss
3-6-9 entry10 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Tom,
This is a well done poem about the glow worm reminds me of a firefly.
Both misnamed. A glow worm isn't a worm and a firefly is a beetle no a fly.
I like the metaphor at the end which reminds us that in a good marriage this is how spouses should treat each other.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Have a wonderful day
Joan
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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Hi Tom,
This is a well done poem about the glow worm reminds me of a firefly.
Both misnamed. A glow worm isn't a worm and a firefly is a beetle no a fly.
I like the metaphor at the end which reminds us that in a good marriage this is how spouses should treat each other.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Have a wonderful day
Joan
Comment Written 24-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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Thanks for the enlightenment. I knew neither fact, though could see how fireflies are beatles, but if not a worm, what is a g.w.? A pupa?
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good artwork and presentation, Tom.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-You did a good job with each verse.
-There was a saying a while back,
"It takes a village."
-A very good first verse with a nod
to a fairy tale.
-A good second verse with the
comparison to butterflies.
-As with many fairy tales,
a good outcome with future kings and queens.
-Very well done; good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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-Good artwork and presentation, Tom.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-You did a good job with each verse.
-There was a saying a while back,
"It takes a village."
-A very good first verse with a nod
to a fairy tale.
-A good second verse with the
comparison to butterflies.
-As with many fairy tales,
a good outcome with future kings and queens.
-Very well done; good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Whew. There came a time when I thought, can this be done? And as Rocky yelled to Adrian after winning over Apollo Creed... "I did it!"
Thanks for providing the feedback.
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You are very welcome, Tom, and you did do it; very well, I might add!! Good for you for not giving up and creating a very good poem. Now you will know how to write a 3-6-9 poem. Have a great day and week ahead.
Comment from kahpot
Hi, Tom, as said in my message and what quite a few have tried to alert you too, I think/know this contest requires 3 stanzas of 3-6-9 lines, please check the prompts rules/requirements****kahpot
Tom, I am quite amazed how you have turned your first three lines into this very charming story in this 3-6-9 poem, very well done, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2024
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Hi, Tom, as said in my message and what quite a few have tried to alert you too, I think/know this contest requires 3 stanzas of 3-6-9 lines, please check the prompts rules/requirements****kahpot
Tom, I am quite amazed how you have turned your first three lines into this very charming story in this 3-6-9 poem, very well done, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 16-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2024
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Thanks... and no one previously made note that I was a syllable short on line two. I don't know how I read that a dozen times and somehow added a mental sixth. So you are my salvation herein.
On another hand, I originally wrote line three to be parry and marry which DM and Dolly caught as fending off so I edited it to read marry and parry (thinking post-wedding they would parry) but in correcting my faux pas with line two I have changed it again to marry and carry. i d k. but I appreciate all the help suggested from my buds and fans.
Comment from Ric Myworld
When I looked up and saw "Awaiting a Kiss" all I could think is, Tom, old buddy, and brother from a different mother, that doesn't even sound right just to read. LOL. 3-6-9-poem brings to mind: three, six, nine, the goose drank wine, the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line, the line broke, the monkey got choked, and they all went to Heaven in a little row boat. Clap, clap.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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When I looked up and saw "Awaiting a Kiss" all I could think is, Tom, old buddy, and brother from a different mother, that doesn't even sound right just to read. LOL. 3-6-9-poem brings to mind: three, six, nine, the goose drank wine, the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line, the line broke, the monkey got choked, and they all went to Heaven in a little row boat. Clap, clap.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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And your retort reminded me of line-dancing at a Philly hop where even the walls of the firehouse kept the beat
Thanks for your loyalty
How was Ocean City for you?
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It's been a long time for me, but Ocean City brings back some fond memories of clean-water beaches, and naughty bikini-clad darlings. :-)
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Can you send a snapshot of those bikini bunnies? I have some doubts they exist where I live 😜
Comment from Esther Brown
Tom, OK what brought glow-worms to mind? Interesting that the female is the showier one. Usually I associate the male of the species with more color to attract the female. I wonder about praying mantis. The female eats the mate so maybe the chubbiest? Good luck in the contest. Esther
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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Tom, OK what brought glow-worms to mind? Interesting that the female is the showier one. Usually I associate the male of the species with more color to attract the female. I wonder about praying mantis. The female eats the mate so maybe the chubbiest? Good luck in the contest. Esther
Comment Written 15-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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Thanks. This simply came like many of my entries do, on a whim while either sleeping or driving. Be well.
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Thanks. This simply came like many of my entries do, on a whim while either sleeping or driving. Be well.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Yup. Marry and parry sounds like a pretty good definition of a marriage to me. lol I don't think I have ever actually seen a glow worm before. I've only heard of them in the old song and I'm not sure I knew they were a real thing. Cool poem.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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Yup. Marry and parry sounds like a pretty good definition of a marriage to me. lol I don't think I have ever actually seen a glow worm before. I've only heard of them in the old song and I'm not sure I knew they were a real thing. Cool poem.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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It came to me in a dream when I was Over the Rainbow when Judy suggested I write it down as we cruised on the Swanee River
Comment from Lana Marie
Oh the beauty of a woman in waiting with that inviting gaze and the glowing light to entice a much desired prince. Nice creative short piece with the contrast of human and insect desire to be wanted.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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Oh the beauty of a woman in waiting with that inviting gaze and the glowing light to entice a much desired prince. Nice creative short piece with the contrast of human and insect desire to be wanted.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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I sort of spun it offf the fairy tale of olden days when a princess would kiss a frog to get her prince. Thanks for the visted and appreciation.
Comment from BethShelby
That is an interesting though. It never occurred to me to think of a insect as a lady hoping to get married. The poem contest calls for three verses of 3-6-9. Maybe your could expand on this thought.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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That is an interesting though. It never occurred to me to think of a insect as a lady hoping to get married. The poem contest calls for three verses of 3-6-9. Maybe your could expand on this thought.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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I made an error on my re-write but it was and should be now the 3-6-9 as originally written before I swapped two of the last three words - adding another author note. Thanks.
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
LOL, Tom, this is a good one. I am not sure that women want to be compared to a glow worm, but they can be cougars or even a fox. So why not? I gleam so does that count for me too. Haha.
I do wonder about the words parry and marry. Do you mean to block or avoid them and then marry them. Maybe it would be more realistic if he would marry and then parry (avoid or block). Just a suggestion and to be of help.
To really is a cute poem though. So thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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LOL, Tom, this is a good one. I am not sure that women want to be compared to a glow worm, but they can be cougars or even a fox. So why not? I gleam so does that count for me too. Haha.
I do wonder about the words parry and marry. Do you mean to block or avoid them and then marry them. Maybe it would be more realistic if he would marry and then parry (avoid or block). Just a suggestion and to be of help.
To really is a cute poem though. So thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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I like your suggestion, and your review was first class. Let me weigh that option and should I change I'll credit your suggestion. Thank you. Yes - I thought it through and love you for the assist. I'll change it.
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You are welcome, Tom. I know how I hate it when people are in too big of a hurry to just grab the money and you're not even sure if they read it or not. '
Thank you for not being offended. I meant to just be helpful and you were very gracious!! Love, Debi
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You are a fav, a buddy and a fan. What's not to like - unless you meet me personally, then you'll find plenty.
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Tom, you and I became good friends early on when I got here three years ago.
When I went in over two years ago for knee replacements two months apart, after the first one, I almost died and they had to call code blue.
I don't know if you remember this but you were always checking on me and praying. You were as good of a friend as anyone here that I knew and loved. You were like a big brother and I never forgot that.
For some reason we don't communicate as much lately. But still I have never ever felt any different towards you.
You will always be one of my favorite people here. So I am going to visit your page more often. But first I am in the process of starting a hundred thousand dollar treatment plan to get my eye sight back as I am blind in one eye from having covid back in August. Then I will be having a cornea transplant.
So I don't review as much as I would like to. Please pray for me again, my friend.
And I will see you again next time. Meeting you would just be an added bonus!
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I would say it's hard to believe three years have passed, but here we are halfway through November and only 12% remain in '24. When I was an youthful boy every day seemingly had 40 hours. Today eight! i sleep the rest.
I'll keep you in mind and prayers with your upcoming medical procedures.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Parry means ward off or repulse, do you think that word fits here Tom? Maybe (carry) would be a better fit! Or perhaps the young lady here is warding off admirers? Love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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Parry means ward off or repulse, do you think that word fits here Tom? Maybe (carry) would be a better fit! Or perhaps the young lady here is warding off admirers? Love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 15-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2024
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Yep. DPM thought the same thing and suggested marry and parry which I accepted as better because husbands and wife do parry after being married for a while.
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ha ha ha x
