I had a pain the other day
Somewhere inside my spine.
I went to see a chiropractor
I had found online.

He had me stand in front of him
And told me, "Lift your knee."
My quick response was, "If I could,
I think we'd both agree

"That I would be some other place,
And not here seeing you.
So if it's not too much to ask,
Just see what you can do."

He had me lie down on his couch.
I heard him say quite plain,
"I'm going to make a small adjustment.
Signal if there's pain."

And then he took my leg and put it
Up behind my ear.
The pain that he inflicted then
Was really quite severe.

I tried to give that signal, but
'Twas then I realized
That with that small adjustment
I had just been paralyzed.

He then proceeded with his job
And climbed aboard my hip,
And then he grabbed my other leg
To get a better grip.

With perseverance in his eyes,
Sweat pouring down his face,
This chiropractor was determined
To resolve my case.

So then he took a real deep breath
And summoned from some source
A burst of strength, and then he came
Down on me with some force.

I closed my eyes and said a prayer
That I'd stay in one piece.
I then heard sounds of popping joints
And muscular release.

He wiped the sweat off from his brow
And offered me his hand.
He then unwound my leg from 'round
My neck and had me stand.

And I was so thrilled to be cured,
I sank on bended knee
And kissed the ring of that sweet man
Who sent me home pain free.

And as I left his office
On that cold December day,
I reached in my hip pocket
For my wallet for his pay.

He said, "Your pain's from sitting on
A wallet that's so thick.
I think if I can make it thinner,
That will do the trick."