| Humor Non-Fiction posted June 5, 2022 |
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When fireworks go wrong
They Did What?
by Terry Broxson
I offer up this true story as a public service. The fourth of July is just around the corner, and a lot of folks will be celebrating the fourth with a fifth starting on the third. But booze has nothing to do with the story. I just liked the way that sounded.
This story happened in 1981, but the lessons learned are just as applicable today.
Two young men, Eric and John, had just graduated from high school in West Texas. Since the seventh grade, they were best buddies, friends, and partners on the debate team. They would head off to different prestigious universities in a couple of months.
Eric and John were very smart. They were straight-A students. They were honor graduates. John was valedictorian of the graduating class of five hundred.
Eric would graduate from college with honors and become a very successful lawyer. He was the founder of his law firm and has won several notable cases.
John would graduate from Harvard University with a degree in applied mathematics. John helped develop software for the banking industry to identify monetary risks. His work allowed him to become a senior executive for one of the biggest banks in the world.
But before Eric and John could accomplish anything, these two brilliant fellows had to get through the most trying six hours of their lives.
It was a Thursday in mid-June. It was three o'clock in the afternoon. It had only been three weeks since John told his classmates in his commencement address at graduation, "The future is now in our hands. OUR CLASS WILL NOT BLOW IT!" Applause filled the auditorium.
In hindsight, Eric should have been paying attention. John should have practiced what he preached.
It was unclear exactly how they got the cherry bombs. The explanation that the boys offered was they wanted to see what would happen and find out exactly how loud the cherry bombs might be.
It is important to understand that our two "heroes" were not engineering students. They liked problem analysis and liberal arts. Enough said about that.
The experiment took place at Eric's house. Eric's father was the principal of the boys' high school. Eric's mother was a deputy superintendent for the school district. The parents were not at home. Even though school was out, the parent's positions required they work year-round.
Our straight-A lads knew if they set off the cherry bombs in the backyard, the bang would be heard all over the neighborhood.
Their adroit wisdom suggested a controlled muffled ignition would be best. They chose the hallway bathroom toilet.
Clever thinking and a serendipitous find of a Styrofoam section of packing material provided all the necessary equipment.
Carefully placing the Styrofoam over the water in the toilet, our two scientists put both cherry bombs on top of the Styrofoam and lit them, and closed the toilet lid. They went into the hallway and closed the bathroom door. Convinced any sound would not be heard outside the house, they anxiously awaited the results.
Eric and John were mostly right. The sound did not carry very far outside of the house. Oh, the neighbors next door heard it okay and called the police and fire department to report a loud disturbance.
Our now dumber than dirt delinquents surveyed the bathroom. The toilet was in pieces. The mirror was broken. Water was gushing everywhere. These guys had no idea how to stop the water. A couple of inches of water had covered most of the house by the time the firemen showed up and turned it off.
Eric and John only had to survive another five hours and forty-five minutes dealing with authorities and their mothers and fathers.
John's father asked, "What happened to the sagacity that our sons possessed?" Eric's mother merely shrugged and said, "Teenagers!"
By nine o'clock that evening, mea culpa had been offered and accepted. The parents of their embarrassed children had agreed to split the cost of cleaning up and repairing the house.
Eric's father called his homeowner's insurance agent and asked about coverage. The agent laughed.
Both boys would work jobs that summer and pay some money to reimburse their parents.
It turns out a Thursday in mid-June 1981 was just a bump in the road. Eric and John did get to live their stellar lives.
I offer up this true story as a public service. The fourth of July is just around the corner, and a lot of folks will be celebrating the fourth with a fifth starting on the third. But booze has nothing to do with the story. I just liked the way that sounded.
This story happened in 1981, but the lessons learned are just as applicable today.
Two young men, Eric and John, had just graduated from high school in West Texas. Since the seventh grade, they were best buddies, friends, and partners on the debate team. They would head off to different prestigious universities in a couple of months.
Eric and John were very smart. They were straight-A students. They were honor graduates. John was valedictorian of the graduating class of five hundred.
Eric would graduate from college with honors and become a very successful lawyer. He was the founder of his law firm and has won several notable cases.
John would graduate from Harvard University with a degree in applied mathematics. John helped develop software for the banking industry to identify monetary risks. His work allowed him to become a senior executive for one of the biggest banks in the world.
But before Eric and John could accomplish anything, these two brilliant fellows had to get through the most trying six hours of their lives.
It was a Thursday in mid-June. It was three o'clock in the afternoon. It had only been three weeks since John told his classmates in his commencement address at graduation, "The future is now in our hands. OUR CLASS WILL NOT BLOW IT!" Applause filled the auditorium.
In hindsight, Eric should have been paying attention. John should have practiced what he preached.
It was unclear exactly how they got the cherry bombs. The explanation that the boys offered was they wanted to see what would happen and find out exactly how loud the cherry bombs might be.
It is important to understand that our two "heroes" were not engineering students. They liked problem analysis and liberal arts. Enough said about that.
The experiment took place at Eric's house. Eric's father was the principal of the boys' high school. Eric's mother was a deputy superintendent for the school district. The parents were not at home. Even though school was out, the parent's positions required they work year-round.
Our straight-A lads knew if they set off the cherry bombs in the backyard, the bang would be heard all over the neighborhood.
Their adroit wisdom suggested a controlled muffled ignition would be best. They chose the hallway bathroom toilet.
Clever thinking and a serendipitous find of a Styrofoam section of packing material provided all the necessary equipment.
Carefully placing the Styrofoam over the water in the toilet, our two scientists put both cherry bombs on top of the Styrofoam and lit them, and closed the toilet lid. They went into the hallway and closed the bathroom door. Convinced any sound would not be heard outside the house, they anxiously awaited the results.
Eric and John were mostly right. The sound did not carry very far outside of the house. Oh, the neighbors next door heard it okay and called the police and fire department to report a loud disturbance.
Our now dumber than dirt delinquents surveyed the bathroom. The toilet was in pieces. The mirror was broken. Water was gushing everywhere. These guys had no idea how to stop the water. A couple of inches of water had covered most of the house by the time the firemen showed up and turned it off.
Eric and John only had to survive another five hours and forty-five minutes dealing with authorities and their mothers and fathers.
John's father asked, "What happened to the sagacity that our sons possessed?" Eric's mother merely shrugged and said, "Teenagers!"
By nine o'clock that evening, mea culpa had been offered and accepted. The parents of their embarrassed children had agreed to split the cost of cleaning up and repairing the house.
Eric's father called his homeowner's insurance agent and asked about coverage. The agent laughed.
Both boys would work jobs that summer and pay some money to reimburse their parents.
It turns out a Thursday in mid-June 1981 was just a bump in the road. Eric and John did get to live their stellar lives.
 Recognized |
#14 June 2022 |
A Cherry Bomb is a firework. Think of it as a big firecracker about the size of a large cherry, generally not legal in the USA.
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