General Fiction posted June 6, 2022


Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Perhaps, Cain was encouraged. (violence is minimized)

Crying Blood

by Wayne Fowler


The author has placed a warning on this post for violence.

Adam and Eve are the original Swiss Family Robinson with their two sons and two daughters. Neanderthal man (humanus erectus) lives concurrently, a clan which has wandered into the human beings’ home region.
 
Cain domesticates the clan of Neanderthals for farm work – to Adam’s great disapproval. Over time, Cain has developed strong relationships with his humans.
 
Adam declares that God has called for a sacrifice. Adam requires lambs of Abel, and a human child from Cain. Cain provides grain instead.
 
Previously, Adam has taught and trained his sons farming and animal husbandry. Likewise, Eve taught her daughters. The couple each have considerable flashback reminders of their lost paradise, Eden.

This is the last segment of a full-feature work. The opening soundtrack is drum-dominated with a tribal chanting rhythm.
 
EXT. AERIAL VIEW OF THE REGION – DAY
 
The hilltop, altar, ADAM’S homesite, HUMANS’ homesite, and the field are shown, gradually focusing on CAIN, who is at the edge of his field.
 
CAIN HEARS a dynamic VOICE CALLING with crystal clear resonance. CAIN LOOKS around, hoping to see someone.
 
GOD
 
            Cain. Cain!
 
            Why are you angry? Why have you lost yourself?
            When you do well, aren’t you satisfied and content? But when you fail, you stand at a precipice. Then sin beckons.
            Cain, you must master it.
 
                                                                                                                                                                                                 FADE TO BLACK:
 
EXT. ADAM’S HOMESITE – DAY
 
CAIN RUNS in.
 
CAIN
(excitedly)
 
            Abel!
 
(louder)
 
            Abel!
 
ABEL APPROACHES CAIN grimly.
 
CAIN
(excitedly)
 
            Abel, listen! God spoke to me! He said…he said… he told me he knew I was mad, and that I’d lost my composure. He said if…when I did well I’m satisfied and content, and when I fail… that I was at some precipice and sin beckoned me. He told me to master it! That’s what he said!
 
ABEL
(hesitating)
 
            If God did speak to you, and not simply your own mind, I think you misunderstood.
 
CAIN PRANCES and GESTURES in wild disagreement.
 
CAIN
(vehemently)
 
            No! I…
 
ABEL
(interrupting)
 
            Listen to what you just said. If you do well. What do you think that means? That everything goes on as before? That Father forgets he’d asked you to leave the humans alone? That he takes back his order for the sacrifice?
 
CAIN begins to speak, but stops.
 
ABEL (cont)
 
            Yes, you are at a precipice. And you must master it. The offering you brought was seed grain handled by the humans that were themselves to have been the offering. The sacrifice cannot offer a substitute!
            Next year, should Father worship in the same way, your offering would be totally the fruit of your laborers – not even your own.
            The precipice is to choose obedience. Obedience or independence. You must choose which. You must master it.
 
CAIN begins to speak, but stops. CAIN STOOPS over, disconsolate. CAIN RISES to full stature before SLOUCHING again in obvious travail. CAIN silently TRUDGES toward his field.
 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  CUT TO:
 
EXT. CAIN’S FIELD – DAY
 
CAIN APPROACHES the HUMANS who are still POUNDING dirt clods. CAIN STOPS in front of them, STARING at the ground. CAIN begins to WEEP, SOBBING. The HUMANS all LOOK to one another in distress. CHUTE HANDS CAIN his ground clubbing tool. The HUMANS are confused and even more distressed. JAW LOOKS from weeping CAIN to the edge of the field where ABEL is APPROACHING. JAW begins his ritualistic chanting dance as at the opening of the film. The other HUMANS JOIN the dance and chant. CAIN becomes spellbound, STOPS weeping. As ABEL REACHES to touch CAIN, JAW SHOUTS an offbeat. CAIN SWINGS the club reflexively, barely recognizing ABEL. ABEL DROPS unconscious, bleeding from his head.
 
CAIN realizes what has happened and CHASES the HUMANS, SWINGING the club. The HUMANS, terrorized, SCREAM as CAIN STRIKES them with glancing blows.
 
                                                                                                                                                                                                              CUT TO:
 
EXT. HUMANUS ERECTUS HOMESITE – DAY
 
CAIN CHASES the HUMANS to, and then out of their homesite. CAIN BURNS the hut as UUHOO RUNS out of it. CAIN CHASES all the HUMANS away, STOPPING when he is exhausted.
 
                                                                                                                                                                                                               CUT TO:
 
EXT. CAIN’S FIELD – DAY
 
CAIN finds ABEL dead. CAIN FALLS on the body CRYING uncontrollably. Moments later CAIN BURIES ABEL in a shallow grave, still WEEPING.
 
                                                                                                                                                                                                             CUT TO:
 
EXT. AERIAL VIEW OF CAIN’S FIELD – DAY
 
A DISTANT ANGLE quickly swoops to a close-up of CAIN.
 
GOD
 
            Cain!
 
CAIN TREMBLES and begins to RUN multiple directions, then finally STOPS and LOOKS up.
 
GOD
(accusingly)
 
            Cain! Where is Abel, your brother?
 
CAIN
(terrified, WINCING at his own words)
 
          What? How would I know?
 
         What, am I? My brother’s keeper?

                                                                                                           GOD
(demandingly)
 
            What have you done?!
 
CAIN CRUMBLES on the shaking earth as HIS words were spoken.
 
GOD
(accusingly)
 
            The voice of your brother’s blood is crying to me from the ground.
 
            From the ground you are cursed, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. The ground will no longer yield its strength to you. You shall be a fugitive and a wanderer.
 
CAIN’S face physically distorts. CAIN appears lunatic, eyes bulging, mouth askew. With an odd gait, CAIN FLAILS his arm as he FLEES the field, SCREAMING in lunacy.
 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                CUT TO:
 
EXT. CAIN’S FIELD/FOREST EDGE – DAY
 
CAIN CHASES the scattering HUMANS who had stopped at the forest edge to watch CAIN.
 
FREEZE FRAME of CAIN, in full, manic lunacy.
 
                                                                                                                                                                                                 FADE TO BLACK:
 



Write A Script contest entry


characters

Adam - Father of human being family, 60
Eve - Mother of human being family, 40
Cain - Oldest son of Adam and Eve, 22
Abel - Second son of Adam and Eve, 20
Lillith - Oldest daughter of Adam and Eve, 12
Ballee - Second daughter of Adam and Eve, 11
Jaw - Grandfather of human clan, 40
Ha-reet - Oldest human clan female, daughter of Jaw, 17
Cale - Ha-reet's mate, unrelated male, 25
Chute - Son of Jaw, brother to Ha-reet, 23
Dae - Son of Ha-reet and Cale, 15
Doe - Son of Ha-reet and Cale, 14
Uuhoo - daughter of Ha-reet and Cale, 5

I encourage you to read the fourth chapter of Genesis. You will not find humanus erectus, though.
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