| General Script posted July 4, 2022 |
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a scene from a script
Scene at a Presidential Run 13
by Bill Schott
CAST: Pons Ned Neil Nave (Neil) Campaign Manager (Rip) Porter Reporter Thomas Edison (Tom) Media Specialist Activist1 (Act1) Activist2 (Act2) Activist3 (Act3) Server The scene continues with Pons and Ned sitting with others at a restaurant table with a reporter, a media specialist, campaign manager, and three political activists. Pons: Now that our lunch is over we really need to get down to business. Ned: I might need ta git me anutter piece a that rhubarb pie I had. . Server: That was last week's cherry pie, sir. Ned: Tasted a bit crunchy. Server: I dropped it on the way here. Neil: Pons is right. Let's get a plan going and see if we can plug holes before we sail. Ned: Where're we sailin' to, Nelly? Neil: It's Neil, Ned. Ned: Neil Ned? Neil: No, Ned; Neil. Ned: No-ned-neil? Neil: Call me Nelly. Ned: Where're we sailin' to, Nelly? Neil: It's a figure of speech, Ned. We aren't actually sailing in a boat. It's a metaphor. Ned: Issat got less holes than a meta-three? Neil: (after staring at Ned for a few seconds) Definitely, Ned. Rip: Any plans on creating a socialist agenda and perverting democracy? Tom: (speaking to Rip) You know, Rip. I read that a Marsian married Big Foot; wasn't that in your paper? Rip: If it was, he did. Act1: I heard it was a civil union. Act2: We need a wall on our celestial borders. Act3: Term limits on conservative representatives. Server: (to Ned) Here is your cherry pie, sir. Ned: That more a that aged pie and floor nuggets? Server: I didn't drop this one, but I put a handful of cherry pits on the side. Ned: (grinning) Somebody's cruisin' fer a big tip. Pons: We really need to get started, Ned. Neil: I have radio advertisements written and pending broadcast; there are reams of literature and piles of posters to be delivered and posted; and several private and public meetings with the movers and shakers. Server: Who gets the bill? Neil: It was Dutch; right? Rip: Right. Dutch has mine too. Tom: Yeah, give my bill to Dutch. Act1: I only had water. That's free; right? Server: I believe yours came with dysentary. Act2: Do you have refills to go? Server: You had a Bud Lite, sir. Act2: Is that a no? Server: Are you paying, sir? Act2: We are all paying, sweetheart. Imperialists are draining us dry. Act3: (to the server) Could I get some milk -- to go --home with me? Server: I'm off at six. To be continued...
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