Ringy-dingy

“Hey, do you wanna mingle? I see you are single!”

I turned around and there was a guy playing Don Juan. I give him the I don’t give a shit look.

He continued undisturbed:” Don’t be surprised. I see no ringy-dingy on your fingy.”

” So? You have one, so go and have fun somewhere else.”

Mr. Irresistible continued in the same tone:” What? This trinket is a decoy. I wear it for an artistic impression. I just got an interview, and it looks better if you are a family man.”

Amused I said:” So, who taught you this dating strategy? Aunt Sima?”

“Pardon me, miss. It’s my shrink’s fault. He said to be open and attack the problem directly. I am usually super shy… like a fly.”

“Oh, brother, you got it all wrong. Before you jump on somebody with that kind of proposal assess the situation. Do I look like I need saving? Maybe I have no ringy-dingy because I am allergic to the idea of wearing it. So far nothing good came out of it. You see ringy-dingy it’s a sign of belonging, and I am past the slavery era. Would you like to see my teeth?”

“Ha? For what?”

“Well, it’s part of the ringy-dingy deal.”

“No, sorry! You got it all wrong. I was just fooling around.”

“You are lucky that I am not in the mood to make a scene. I am too happy with myself to get bothered by your silly mistake.”

“Got it! First, assess and then distress!”

“You got it, Mr. Trinket, good luck with your mingled!”