The Greatest Show on Earth

My dad told my mother when they got married, he didn’t want any kids. Maybe no one explained to him how to prevent that from happening. Lucky for me, he changed his mind when I appeared on the scene. He gave thanks to God I turned out to be a girl, because he knew for sure, he didn’t want any boy kids.

It worked out I was the one and only child who would ever arrive in the Glover Weir family. After Dad decided he could tolerate me as long as I didn’t make any loud noises, he started to think of ways he might make sure I would experience some things which he had not gotten to experience himself.

The first one was to send me up in an airplane when I was five. My grandparents had a hissy fit and asked if he was trying to get me killed. Maybe they thought the desire to not have children was still with him, and they didn’t want to lose their only grandchild. Grandma was a bundle of nerves, and airplanes hadn't been invented long enough to seem safe to her.

The idea of going up in an airplane and doing loops in the air appealed to me at five. I hadn’t yet learned that people weren’t indestructible, so I assumed all would be well, because Daddy said so.  Daddy tended to be very money conscious, but they were running a special that day, and kids could go up for a penny a pound. Since I didn’t weigh enough to make a dent in a half a dollar, I got to fly.

No more interesting events occurred in our stale little town for a while, but when I was ten, the word was out that Ringling Bros.Barnum & Bailey Circus was coming to Meridian, a mere twenty-five miles away. I was up for new experiences, but I'd never had a urge to see a circus. It was unusual for Dad to take a day off from work. Was is possible, it was Dad's attempt to put a little excitement into his own life? I had mixed feeling about leaving school on that particular day. I'd alreardy accepted a lead in the school play which would be preformed that day. 

When Dad informed me, I’d need to cancel because he had a bigger surprise in mind, I was reluctant to give up being an star for the day. Still, Daddy/daughter days were relatively rare, so I humored him and told the teacher to give the part to my rival.

The fairground in Meridian was crowded and carnival barkers were everywhere advertising freak shows like midgets, giants and tattooed women. Yes, women with tattoos were considered freaks at one time. I was up for seeing a freak, but Dad didn't come to see the side shows. He was all about going under the big top. He said we needed to find a seat before they were all gone, so we moved along with the crowd until we were under the big top. The excitement that I had felt starting to build desolved when I realized where we would be sitting.

Inside the tent, three big circles had been created on the sawdust. Surrounding the circles were the bleachers towering to near the top of tent. They looked to be hastily nailed together and made of rough boards of lumber about six inches wide. With all the bleachers and sawdust everywhere, the whole place smelled as though the wood was freshly milled. From the looks of the resin still oozing, it probably was. Most of the seats were already taken except way up on the very top row. Dad took my hand and started tugging me up those bleachers which vibrated with each step we took. This was not what I’d signed up for. Dad sensed my hesitation and lifted me to each new level. I was shaking like I was having a seizure.

There were openings everywhere that I could easily slip through. Although I didn’t know the word for it yet, I was experiencing my first bout with acrophobia. My heart was beating like wings of chicken about to be beheaded, by the time we reached the top. I carefully eased myself down on the plank and tried to not move.

Dad kept pointing out various things he thought would capture my interest. I nodded and tried to smile. I'm sure he found my lack of enthusiasm disappointing, but what I was seeing was blurred by my anxiety. The man walking on stilts caused more concern than wonder. The clowns were more fightening than funny.

With three different acts going all at one time, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be looking at, but I was mostly staring at the ground so far down below me and imagining how it would feel to fall.

When the trapeze artists started shooting through the air with no net below them, I got dizzy thinking I was about to see death played out in real time before my eyes. I squinted my eyes tight closed to keep from throwing up.

It seemed the show went on forever, and when it finally ended, our trip down from our perch was every bit as frightening as it was going up. Back in our car at last, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and tried to pretend I’d had a wonderful time. I owed him that for trying to give me a day to remember. At least, he succeeded in doing that. The best thing about the trip was the pink and blue feathered doll on a stick which dad bought for me as a souvenir.

The doll was still hanging on the wall of my room when our house was destroyed by a tornado two weeks later. My mom and I were taken for a sky ride which I’ll never forget, I’ve written about that so many times I won’t comment further here. But if you were to ask me what one thing frightened me the most in my life, I’d have to say it wasn't the storm. It was those bleachers.

Even to this day, a reoccurring dream has me walking on a vibrating plank high in the air which I’m sure may give way at any moment..