If animals were more like us
We would laugh for days and days
As they pestered each other incessantly
In the most offensive ways
It might start down in the forest
All peaceful and quiet and glorious
Then a fart blasts through the branches
Quickly blaming skunk for being notorious
“Stop calling me a fart squirrel!”
Skunk insists, “That’s not my real name!
Quit judging a book by it’s cover
Or maybe that’s why YOU came.”
Llama felt insulted straight away
As she hocked a large loogie to spit
But that judgy spit-camel reconsidered
And swallowed back every last little bit
Llama claims: “I’m not that judgy
I just don’t have much else to do all day
In fact, I could probably be sainted
But I’ll spit out of spite anyway!”
Before this has a chance to escalate
Hippo swims in, a scorching hot mess
“But why call me: Danger Water Cow?
When you’re heaps more mean and dangerous!”
Flying above, seagulls squawk their woes
“Beach chickens?? We aren’t that scared or needy!
I divebombed a giant for a hotdog today
We're actually quite brave, yes indeedy"
The dark waters ripple and wave suddenly
Croc asks, “Is there anything absurder?”
How come when he divebombs it’s brave
And every time I do it’s murder!”
You see, he’s been called a murder log once
Or perhaps, maybe you do not
They are incredibly good at camouflage
You need to work with what you’ve got
Also misunderstood, “People call us lazy,”
The manatees all collectively sigh
To the common eye it’s just floaty potatoes
Leisurely bumbling on by
Despite lacking in the speed department
They redeem themselves as clever
“Some days you need to slow down to move forward
Or you might travel in circles forever”
"Well-said!" they all cheered, so ostrich dared:
“Can we finally agree that strength is beauty?
It’s hurtful being called a pantless thundergoose
One can’t help having mother’s thighs and booty!”
“Hurrah”, yelled the masked bandit, a bit muffled
Then poked his head out of the garbage can
“I’m constantly shamed for my diet
P. S. The term Trash Panda really hurts, man"
Someone slithered in slightly closer
To sum up what’s actually true
“No matter which diet you deem is best,
someone out there will still call yours trash too”
“A nope rope? You say. I say no way.
This negativity just bogs us all down
How about trying a little gratitude?
Might make a smile out of that frown?”
“A simple thank you is all we desire”
Claimed the bats who were roosting overhead
“We are out there bugzapping the whole night long
While they are all tucked cozy in bed”
But instead they all hate and fear us
And shriek, “Ah! Get away, dragon rat!”
“Can you begin to imagine our horror?
How rude and offensive is that?”
The animals have every reason to fight
But they choose to laugh it away
They recognize a space for everybody
Let’s celebrate quirks and uniquity
