It’s the irrational fear of circular objects containing voids. I cannot bring myself to use the word.  Steve Jobs had it, so he only wore turtle necks.

I hate to touch them so I wear T-shirts whenever I can rather than a formal shirt.  But worse than doing a job on a shirt; is when they are sewn onto places for no good reason.  I have seen them on bags, and cushions; Pearly Kings and Queens have them everywhere. Equally bad, is when they fall off and then they are free. They can turn up in unexpected places, often hiding on window sills, the back of sinks, or for some reason under the microwave.

I remember when I was at school seeing someone sucking on one, I nearly threw up.  That affected me badly, so badly that my phobia extended to encompass Polo breath mints too. The plastic-looking circular mint with a hole in the middle.  Eventually, I could not bear mint at all and I have to use a toothpaste that is a mixture of eucalyptus and thymol.

Recently I found something worse than any of those.  I was in the toy store looking for a present for my godson. Browsing through the aisles, I came face to face with the most horrific thing I have seen in my life.  Its fuzzy face was poking out of a hole, which appeared to have been bitten out of its brown cardboard box. It grinned a gappy smile at me with what looked like real human teeth impaled into felt gums.  It stared manically at me through mismatched eyes one a crazy blue the other a creamy white.  No pupils; just crosses of white thread. For its eyes, were no real eyes, but buttons cruelly sewn into its downy brown face!

I left that store and I have never dared to go back. I pray never to see that creature ever again, either in person or worse in my dreams.