You put the tit in competitive

The definition of argumentative

     From the very first time we met

     You’ve gone out of your way to be a prick

     It is not as though you are beset

     With brains; in fact, you seem quite thick

     When it comes to one-upmanship

     Well, there you take the prize

     Is your life one long ego trip?

     Always your way, you never compromise

If we ever play a game, we have to let you win

The one time that we didn’t the consequence was grim

     If I were to have a heart attack

     You’d go and have one worse

     I find you always have the knack

     Of pissing me off, do you rehearse?

     You act like the world revolves around you

     Like you’re the only one that matters

     It’s time to tell you something true

     If you don’t change, your life will be in tatters

I know you were brought up this way

And it's only nurture that you display

     It’s time to make a change though

     It’s time to show some growth

     If you were a field, you’d be fallow

     You show the progress of a sloth

     I feel I should give you one more chance

     Before I write you off completely

     Not decide you’re a twat, it maybe happenstance

     Just show me some respect, however discreetly

If you try harder, we might have an ancestral rapport

If you try harder, I might forgive you for being four.