My Question For God

by prettybluebirds

Dear God,

I have a question: Why did you take all three of my sons? I know, I know, I'm not the only mother who has lost children, but I have always wondered why. Couldn't you have left me at least one?

When you took my last son, Roy, when he was only sixteen, I wanted to hate you, and maybe I did for a while. If, like it's said, you have a plan for each of us, then why did your plan for me include so much pain and heartache? And what about my boys? Was it your plan to cut their lives short? The Bible says you have a reason for all you do, but it didn't make losing those boys easier.

I know I made some lousy decisions in my younger years, which, beyond a doubt, offended you, but I did nothing so terrible it should have justified the loss of my children. Then again, perhaps it was a test like Job in the Bible to determine my faith's strength. If so, I failed you miserably because, if anything, my faith grew weaker with the loss of each son. It's hard to imagine a benevolent, loving God when one is burying their child.

I hope you won't think me a whiner, God. Others have suffered and are still suffering far greater tragedies than mine. All I would like to know is the reason, if there was one, for depriving me of the love of my boys. I can't promise to feel differently about you for what happened, but who knows? All I want to know is why.

A lonely soul

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