| Humor Fiction posted July 25, 2024 |
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A Contest Entry
6 New Movies
by Jim Wile
Lord of the Rinks - Join Fredo Baggins and his band of fellow skating enthusiasts as they attempt to defy the efforts of the evil Mort Sauron, a businessman who works his way back to the heights of financial power in the world of Big Skating after a devastating bankruptcy. With his army of bankers, accountants, and lawyers, Sauron is attempting to corner the market and buy up all the skating rinks in the realm. But Fredo and his contingent are determined to stop him by sabotaging construction of the one master rink that would serve as Sauron's showcase to cement forever his title as Lord of the Rinks.
Bang ‘em High – Pornstar Clint Instantwood stars in this adult film as Dick Small, a mild-mannered, shy chemist who can’t hold onto women because of his diminutive stature where it counts. Tired of being humiliated in his efforts, and down in the dumps, he creates a drug that is uplifting in more ways than one as both his mood and his manhood swell to incredible proportions. He sets out on a mission to woo the women who have rejected him for so long in this sexcapade to Bang ‘em High.
Paws – Newly hired police chief Martin Broody takes his job seriously. When a teenage girl is found clawed to death in a park, evidence points to a giant cat capable of flaying its victims open with a single swipe of his mammoth paws. When more grisly deaths are discovered, it’s up to Chief Broody, big game hunter Squint, and feline expert Matt Hoopla to take on the mission to capture and kill this beast while wearing specially-made kevlar coats to withstand any possible attack. But when they see the size of it and the foot-long claws within the giant paws, Broody exclaims, “We’re going to need a thicker coat.”
Will they be able to withstand an attack by this gargantuan feline and rid the once peaceful tourist town of this purrless threat?
King Pong – Washed-up 70s arcade game owner Jack Bleak seeks a new arcade game to replace the tired old pinball machines in his failing arcade in this docu-drama about the video game world. He hears about a dingy little arcade in an obscure village that houses a wondrous new game and makes a trip where he sees it in action. So appealing is it that he steals it and brings it back to his own big-city arcade where it becomes a mega-hit, and its popularity grows from there. The game Pong is born and becomes King of the arcade world. It scales the heights of popularity, but competitors such as the Space Invaders attempt to shoot it down, and Pac-Men attempt to eat up its popularity and replace it as king of the video game revolution.
The Silence of the Lamps – Serial killer Cannonball Lighter is on the loose, wreaking havoc in the world of green energy as he invents a lightbulb, which uses so little electricity, that the global warming trend is reversing. The only problem is that the new bulbs emit a sound that is driving people crazy, and the suicide rate is increasing astronomically. The scrooge-like Lighter, however, sees this as a great way to decrease the surplus population as he satisfies his urge to kill. The world now seeks to forever ban this new invention and welcome back the Silence of the Lamps.
Shakes on a Plane – Big Green Energy’s next target is the airline industry, and they’ve forced a new fuel standard on all aircraft with a low-carbon-based fuel source to replace all jet fuel. But the new fuel causes jet engines to run so roughly that passengers can no longer ride on them without throwing up. Witness the epic battle of Big Aviation against a government policy that will ruin it as it attempts to stop the Shakes on a Plane.
The Importance of a Single Letter contest entry
Lord of the Rinks - Join Fredo Baggins and his band of fellow skating enthusiasts as they attempt to defy the efforts of the evil Mort Sauron, a businessman who works his way back to the heights of financial power in the world of Big Skating after a devastating bankruptcy. With his army of bankers, accountants, and lawyers, Sauron is attempting to corner the market and buy up all the skating rinks in the realm. But Fredo and his contingent are determined to stop him by sabotaging construction of the one master rink that would serve as Sauron's showcase to cement forever his title as Lord of the Rinks.
Bang ‘em High – Pornstar Clint Instantwood stars in this adult film as Dick Small, a mild-mannered, shy chemist who can’t hold onto women because of his diminutive stature where it counts. Tired of being humiliated in his efforts, and down in the dumps, he creates a drug that is uplifting in more ways than one as both his mood and his manhood swell to incredible proportions. He sets out on a mission to woo the women who have rejected him for so long in this sexcapade to Bang ‘em High.
Paws – Newly hired police chief Martin Broody takes his job seriously. When a teenage girl is found clawed to death in a park, evidence points to a giant cat capable of flaying its victims open with a single swipe of his mammoth paws. When more grisly deaths are discovered, it’s up to Chief Broody, big game hunter Squint, and feline expert Matt Hoopla to take on the mission to capture and kill this beast while wearing specially-made kevlar coats to withstand any possible attack. But when they see the size of it and the foot-long claws within the giant paws, Broody exclaims, “We’re going to need a thicker coat.”
Will they be able to withstand an attack by this gargantuan feline and rid the once peaceful tourist town of this purrless threat?
King Pong – Washed-up 70s arcade game owner Jack Bleak seeks a new arcade game to replace the tired old pinball machines in his failing arcade in this docu-drama about the video game world. He hears about a dingy little arcade in an obscure village that houses a wondrous new game and makes a trip where he sees it in action. So appealing is it that he steals it and brings it back to his own big-city arcade where it becomes a mega-hit, and its popularity grows from there. The game Pong is born and becomes King of the arcade world. It scales the heights of popularity, but competitors such as the Space Invaders attempt to shoot it down, and Pac-Men attempt to eat up its popularity and replace it as king of the video game revolution.
The Silence of the Lamps – Serial killer Cannonball Lighter is on the loose, wreaking havoc in the world of green energy as he invents a lightbulb, which uses so little electricity, that the global warming trend is reversing. The only problem is that the new bulbs emit a sound that is driving people crazy, and the suicide rate is increasing astronomically. The scrooge-like Lighter, however, sees this as a great way to decrease the surplus population as he satisfies his urge to kill. The world now seeks to forever ban this new invention and welcome back the Silence of the Lamps.
Shakes on a Plane – Big Green Energy’s next target is the airline industry, and they’ve forced a new fuel standard on all aircraft with a low-carbon-based fuel source to replace all jet fuel. But the new fuel causes jet engines to run so roughly that passengers can no longer ride on them without throwing up. Witness the epic battle of Big Aviation against a government policy that will ruin it as it attempts to stop the Shakes on a Plane.
Lord of the Rings
Hang 'em High
Jaws
King Kong
The Silence of the Lambs
Snakes on a Plane
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. Hang 'em High
Jaws
King Kong
The Silence of the Lambs
Snakes on a Plane
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© Copyright 2024. Jim Wile All rights reserved.
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