Walter Wiggins & the Rats

I feel upon these rare occasions, that I have swiss cheese for brains. Oh well, spilt milk and all that.

If I were so inclined, I would not have the strength to dig a hole to bury Walter. No matter dragging him through the yard, or lifting him into a wheelbarrow.

My friend, Jim, offered to help, but he's in a wheelchair and worse off than me. He said he could pelt him with rocks or something, I said I appreciated his offer but neither one of us  is fleet of foot, and another way must be thought of.

You see, I have talked to Animal Protection, Waste Resources, Senior Housing, all to no avail.  He seems to have a sixth sense about when he's getting on my last nerve, and will be good for a while. He has trash all over his yard, and his dogs drag a lot of it into mine. In fact, I would venture a guess that he has trash everywhere but in his trash can.

He lets his dogs run loose. They spend a lot of time pulling up my flowers and vegetables, knocking my trash over, and making a huge mess. I would put up a fence, but I cannot afford it.

Their favorite thing to do is play "Let's knock down the old lady." On the days I am okay enough to waddle down to the mailbox, their doggie radar goes off, and out come Adolf, Joseph, and Vladimir.

Actually, I don't know their names, so I gave them ones. When I come out my front door, their doggie radar goes off and out they come, seeing who can knock me down first. But, this rat thing is the last straw.

I have put out the strongest rat poison sold to consumers, "Always Say Die" the play on words appealed to me. It will kill rats, mice, ferrets, cats, dogs, and people too.

If he and his doggie minions stay in their own yard, nothing untoward will occur. I have warned him I am putting out poison several times. But he never listens, he just smiles and does what he wants.

It is hardly my fault if the dogs are snarfing up everything in sight.  And, I very nearly forgot myself and yelled out to him, as he came in my yard and took my poisoned pie off the garbage can and began eating it with his fingers. I put that out for the big rats. Well, in a way Walter was the biggest rat there was.

Now, I don't know for sure just how strong the poison is, but judging from the way the dogs  are having a hard time walking, I think each and every rat will die, and soon.

It is a good thing I taped myself explaining all about the poison several times.  I had pictures of the signs I put up. Poisoned cookies and pies for the rats! 

I really did not expect him to go and eat the pie.

Maybe I should have put out that particular sign sooner. He treated all my warnings as empty threats. The only thing empty about it, is the pie tin.